MSE Parents Club Part 7

pinkpig08

Em - they update it straight away and pay you anything owed usually in an interim payment, then you get your new amount on your usual pay da.te for TC

mookiandco

emlou2009 wrote: »

i forgot to say - OH spoke to the CAB about access for DSD at last, and they sent him some information which basically told him not to bother!



:rolleyes:

Essentially the penalties for not abiding by a contact order are a fine, community service and ultimately prison. BUT in practice sadly I have never seen any of these being imposed. The only thing I have seen work a few times are Judges who tell the mother that as she doesnt allow the child to have contact with dad then perhaps she isnt the right person to care for the child as she cant do whats in the childs best interest. The Judge told the mothers that if they didnt allow contact he would give a residence order to the father.

I would not be completely disheartened however and would certainly consider making an application to the court. I tell clients that it is just as important that when that child gets older and comes looking for dad that they know that the dad fought for them and that they were truly loved. The longer its left that harder it is to get contact and the court will also doubt a fathers committment to a child if its left too long. If you dont try you'll never know.

weezl74

Glamazon wrote: »

please

*you should have assumed yes* :rotfl:

:rotfl:

right ho! Hang onto your hat and get your calculator out! It's a bit maths-tastic

The payment to OH and to Jack is based on your 2nd tier payout if you were ill or injured and took an early retirement for illness/incapacity. This amount is given if you die, in the following proportions: Half of that amount yearly to OH, a quarter to jack. Another quarter would be given to another baby, and after 2, the half amount just gets shared between all your children. ie the max they'll pay is the total ill health pension split between your OH and your children.

Ok so how to calculate your illness pension: first work out your current number of years service (how long you've paid your nhs pension) I'm assuming you haven't bought any additional years.

Then work out how many years you are away from 60, ie if you're 25 then it's 35. then work out what 2/3rds of that amount is and add it to your number of years service.

Then work out what your salary would be in the final year, ie the year of your death. then put both those numbers into this calculator. The answer you'll get is your total annual pension on illness. So then take half of it for OH, and a quarter for Jack.

simples

emlou2009

pinkpig08 wrote: »

Em - they update it straight away and pay you anything owed usually in an interim payment, then you get your new amount on your usual pay da.te for TC

:T thank god for that! i had visions of having to fill out all the forms again and wait for another assessment! thank you, thats really set my mind at rest

mookiandco wrote: »

Essentially the penalties for not abiding by a contact order are a fine, community service and ultimately prison. BUT in practice sadly I have never seen any of these being imposed. The only thing I have seen work a few times are Judges who tell the mother that as she doesnt allow the child to have contact with dad then perhaps she isnt the right person to care for the child as she cant do whats in the childs best interest. The Judge told the mothers that if they didnt allow contact he would give a residence order to the father.

I would not be completely disheartened however and would certainly consider making an application to the court. I tell clients that it is just as important that when that child gets older and comes looking for dad that they know that the dad fought for them and that they were truly loved. The longer its left that harder it is to get contact and the court will also doubt a fathers committment to a child if its left too long. If you dont try you'll never know.

i couldnt agree more!! which is why i get SO annoyed with him for not doing everything he can to see her. his parents see her regularly and tell her that daddy loves her etc, and when i broach the subject of it his response is "shes a bright, intelligent girl, and she knows her daddy loves her" shes 8yo !!!!!!!
all that prompted him getting him touch with them was him changing his phone number, so i suggested he rang his ex to pass it on and broach the subject of a meeting, which he wouldnt do, saying his mum could pass it on for him in case of emergency, i then lost it a bit and told him he had to do something and the CAB have gone and given him the advice he needs to sit on his laurels and moan about it even more. all i get told is i dont know the situation, but from where i am it just looks like it is easier for him to moan about lack of contact and bang on about how much he loves and misses his baby girl and stare lovingly at the photos he's put up, than actually do something about it!
[/rant]

weezl74 wrote: »

simples

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sami_Bee

feelinggood wrote: »

I'll be getting various insurance policies when I'm a bit lighter. They are massively cheaper if I can lose three stone. I don't have any earning potential, so just going off what it'd cost for childcare for two kids for 12 hours a day so OH can continue to work.

I'm pretty sure OH has CI and various other policies, so we'd be okay if he passed. Finacually anyway, but who'd get rid of spiders?!

We don't have anything in writing about Toby, or wills. Do we need to? Everyone agrees that my Mum will be gaurdian and can chose who is best placed to care for kids - her or my Brother.

:eek::eek::eek: I'll have to train Chris to be a super spider killer!!

emlou2009 wrote: »

i just rang the tax credits people to ask about updating my claim to include the childcare element and they said i cant do it til i'm actually back at work how on earth am i supposed to actually pay for the childcare if they take their time adding the money on??

does anyone have any experience of claiming the childcare element when already getting CTC/WTC? its under 3 weeks til i go back, i just want to get things sorted so i know where i stand!!

they do it over the phone but I can't remember how long it took to get the money BUT We did struggle the first few weeks back because I had to pay the CM every Friday but I didn't get paid until the 2nd saturday after I'd started and that was for 1 week

off to boobie group byeee!

Ps. Thanks for the congrats - I'm so proud!

weezl74

Glam,

all my above post was based on you being a pre april 08 member, is that right?

emlou,

FWIW I completely understand how you feel. I think I'd be doubly annoyed both because I'd care about DSD, but also because part of me would be thinking, 'oh I hope you could never be like that about Seth!' Not that the same situation would arise with you and he, but you know what I mean

money_maker_3

we are down on Friday for 4 hours !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Glamazon

BrunoM wrote: »

I do know just what you mean Mooki - I'm sure I wouldn't have life cover if it wasn't free from work, and I pay very reluctantly into a pension because it's a great deal with contribution matching etc from work - but even though I'm getting a "great return" on those payments, seeing hundreds of pounds monthly disappear into a black box I can't touch for 30 years, instead of being spent on things we want right now! Gah!

love my pension - I pay 6% usually around £140 n work pay around 14%

weezl74 wrote: »

Glam,

all my above post was based on you being a pre april 08 member, is that right?

emlou,

FWIW I completely understand how you feel. I think I'd be doubly annoyed both because I'd care about DSD, but also because part of me would be thinking, 'oh I hope you could never be like that about Seth!' Not that the same situation would arise with you and he, but you know what I mean

yes I am - I'll read ur post in a bit more detail if I lose it I can always search for the word 'simples' :rotfl:

emlou2009

weezl74 wrote: »

Glam,

all my above post was based on you being a pre april 08 member, is that right?

emlou,

FWIW I completely understand how you feel. I think I'd be doubly annoyed both because I'd care about DSD, but also because part of me would be thinking, 'oh I hope you could never be like that about Seth!' Not that the same situation would arise with you and he, but you know what I mean

yep, you got it in one! although if anything did happen which meant we split up, OH would probably end up being seths PWC as he would cope a lot better than i could, but thats a different matter!
its not that he doesnt care, its that he feels that his ex will make it even harder for him and his parents if he pushes the issue, and in his strange man-brain he seems to think that if his parents are still able to see her regularly then there is at least some form of contact going on, but i really struggle to accept that view from him

elle_gee

Afternoon all

We had a lie-in then my mum nipped round with the prescription paperwork she'd picked up for me (docs is closer to her house). I offered her a cuppa then realised we'd got no milk so we had juice instead. She left after a while then turned up again with four pints of milk

We're going to get dressed soon though and go for a walk to the shops and chemist to pick up the prescriptions

Rhys is being a grouch today, more wimpering and hand chewing too. Had a brief glance in his mouth and I think OH might be right.. _pale_

I've had an email from my colleague at work.. she's coming round to see me on Thursday next week to discuss my return to work :eek: How did that come round so fast?! They want to talk to the six month point about a plan for if I want to reduce my hours, so it's all in place if I want to return early. It does follow all the guidelines - they have 14wks to make a decision so it allows time for that decision to be made before I then give eight weeks notice of early return if I want to go back at the end of 9mths SMP (although I don't). Will be good to get it sorted and take some of the wondering out of it.. Just need to hope my temp cover lady wants to job share with me!

Speaking of the wonderful one, she's emailed me this morning - though not with a work query, just to say hi

With all this finance talk, OH and I have to sit down tonight and go through everything. He's in court again next week about the charging order and we got a nasty shock yesterday with how overdrawn we are (only nasty cos I hadn't checked earlier) so we're going to have to get our thinking caps on