MSE Parents Club Part 7

redmel1621

Your chat about life insurances has just reminded me to get ours sorted out. We have been meaning to do it for a while now, but keep forgetting.

I feel like a terrible person when I read about how organised some of you are for your children...and here's me having another one, I am seriously scared about the future. I am a bad selfish person:( How are we going to be able to provide for all of these lovely children we have/are having....I can't even afford my car tax at the end of this month!!! Because I am relying on stupid Student Finance England to give me my student finance and they are STILL to pay me my money...As a couple we are going to have big student debts that we are going to have to try and pay back, whilst raising our children, and hearing talk of private schools too, I am wondering now if my kids will even have the uniforms needed to go to some crappy state school....god I feel rubbish now. I think I need to seriously sit down and have a good look at our finances instead of blundering through life and everything 'just working out'......

Thank You for opening my eyes.

Mel x

searching_me

mel thats exactly how i feel apart from mine is debt x

money_maker_3

Mel, I work with it day in and day out, if it wasnt for that, I would never have thought about it !!

feelinggood_2

I'll be getting various insurance policies when I'm a bit lighter. They are massively cheaper if I can lose three stone. I don't have any earning potential, so just going off what it'd cost for childcare for two kids for 12 hours a day so OH can continue to work.

I'm pretty sure OH has CI and various other policies, so we'd be okay if he passed. Finacually anyway, but who'd get rid of spiders?!

We don't have anything in writing about Toby, or wills. Do we need to? Everyone agrees that my Mum will be gaurdian and can chose who is best placed to care for kids - her or my Brother.

weezl74

redmel1621 wrote: »

Your chat about life insurances has just reminded me to get ours sorted out. We have been meaning to do it for a while now, but keep forgetting.

I feel like a terrible person when I read about how organised some of you are for your children...and here's me having another one, I am seriously scared about the future. I am a bad selfish person:( How are we going to be able to provide for all of these lovely children we have/are having....I can't even afford my car tax at the end of this month!!! Because I am relying on stupid Student Finance England to give me my student finance and they are STILL to pay me my money...As a couple we are going to have big student debts that we are going to have to try and pay back, whilst raising our children, and hearing talk of private schools too, I am wondering now if my kids will even have the uniforms needed to go to some crappy state school....god I feel rubbish now. I think I need to seriously sit down and have a good look at our finances instead of blundering through life and everything 'just working out'......

Thank You for opening my eyes.

Mel x

oh mel! so sorry it's made you feel that way! FWIW, I'm only looking into it cos I asked my brother if he'd have fergie if we both died, and he said 'yes, and I know you'll have thought through how all the finances work' GULP . And I hadn't so I'm getting onto it now!


PS there's a lot to be said for being chilled out and everything just working out too, I could do with some of your chill pills mel!

pps and this being MSE you're definately in the right place to get advice about all this kinda stuff

weezl74

feelinggood wrote: »

We don't have anything in writing about Toby, or wills. Do we need to? Everyone agrees that my Mum will be gaurdian and can chose who is best placed to care for kids - her or my Brother.

Feelie you know all the people involved, so you are the expert.:D Sometimes others do contest the guardianship of a child if not written down. Is it at all possible that anyone from OH's side might do that?

How old is your mum?

xxx

redmel1621

weezl74 wrote: »

oh mel! so sorry it's made you feel that way! FWIW, I'm only looking into it cos I asked my brother if he'd have fergie if we both died, and he said 'yes, and I know you'll have thought through how all the finances work' GULP . And I hadn't so I'm getting onto it now!


PS there's a lot to be said for being chilled out and everything just working out too, I could do with some of your chill pills mel!

pps and this being MSE you're definately in the right place to get advice about all this kinda stuff

Weezl, don't be sorry, honestly....

In my mind I know how it's all going to play out, I can see it all quite clearly. It's when I see others have it all in place and it looks solid and well organised. I am lucky in some ways as things just tend to fall in place for me at just the right time...but we will have FOUR kids, I really should be more organised 'just in case' I need to stop with my - let it happen philosophy.

I will get organised by the time this baby is here I promise:o

Mel x

emlou2009

Buttonmoons wrote: »

Well I did a test - negative, AND my periods came during the night.

So I guess I got what I wanted, so why am I upset about it?

i think its cos you thought you were. you know on friends where rachel finds out shes pregnant and phoebe tells her shes not to start with and shes really gutted even though she didnt want a baby, then she tells her she is really and shes pleased? at least now you have a idea of how you would feel if it did happen but give up those fags and diet coke first!! or at least switch to caffeine free

weezl74 wrote: »

emlou, you can get glow in the dark dummies, if that might help dispense slowly with the nightlight (if you want to that is!). Welcome back, I missed you

i missed you too! how is the pregnancy treating you now? are you feeling less sick and tired yet?

we do have glow in the dark ones, but he just plays with them cos they glow which defeats the object :rotfl:

on your question about having "things" in place to make sure LO is cared for and secure if something happened to you and/or OH, we have nothing, but there is nothing really to sort if something did happen, seth would automatically end up with M&FIL, as OH and i have no siblings and [STRIKE]i wouldnt want him brought up by my dad[/STRIKE] my dad isnt really in a position to look after him as he works away from home as it is. the IL's wouldnt need to arrange any form of childcare as MIL works mostly nights and evenings as a nurse and a few afternoons as a gardener, and FIL works from home and the odd weekend here and there as an event paramedic. there is always someone at home for the dogs, and they brought up DSD while OH and his ex were at school and college (:eek:).
when we are in a position to know where we stand financially and can commit to a monthly payment we will arrange some sort of life insurance so we could provide financially for him, we have nothing except debts currently which does worry me a little, but we are paying token payments on our debts as it is so we really arent in a position to commit to any kind of life insurance currently. but when we are, we will, and that will probably be all we actually do in the way of providing for him.

as for your worries about fergies development, dont waste your energy doing so! he can roll, as he decided to roll off your table that time :eek:, he just chooses not to cos he is quite happy staying where he is seth has only just started to sit unaided the last week or so, not cos he cant, but cos he finds sitting boring and would rather roll around! he doesnt crawl as he rolls at the speed of light, and he isnt as advanced in eating as other babies seem to be, he will eat lumps but very grudgingly and gets bored with finger food unless its a biscuit! they all do different things at different times. and benjamin seems to be some kind of superhero, i'm sure MFD has actually adopted a son of krypton, or is married to one

feelinggood_2

weezl74 wrote: »

Feelie you know all the people involved, so you are the expert.:D Sometimes others do contest the guardianship of a child if not written down. Is it at all possible that anyone from OH's side might do that?

How old is your mum?

xxx

My Mum is 49. My Brother is married, but no kids. He is a bit of a city guy at the moment, so not ideal for having a kid, although I know he would. If he haskids of his own at the time, he'd be the best place for LO, but until then Mum is, and I know she'd make the right choice. I don't think OHs parents would contest it, they know LO is much, much closer to my parents. I'll discuss it with OH though. I can't see anyone contesting anything, guardianship hasn't been an issue before, but wills have always been dealt with in a fair way.

mookiandco

Morning all

I have a baby with a passport! Is it silly that I got teary when looking at it. Its like she's a real person now!

I have nothing in place for Leila if anything happens to us. Hubby has some pension or other from working as a civil servant for a while. Really any money we have we need right here right now! Its all I could do to open my bank statement this morning. I know that I have a huge family network who would financially support Leila if the worst happens. My parents are very wealthy and i'm just waiting for my lottery win so I can be too!!!