It's never going to happen for me.

Errata

Quote wrote: »

1979 called. It wants its attitude back.

The OP is being very sensible. Studies show that marriages last significantly longer than co-habitation.

Quote

It was the idea that it's "the right order" which I object to.

Stephb1986_2

I also want to get married before I have kids it's just the way things are I guess.

Doesn't mean its for everyone though.

Steph xx

daphne_descends

Sorry, what's the divorce rate again?

I am marrying my partner next year but I am SO glad we had our DS first. Believe me you don't know someone until you've wanted to kill them!

becs

Actually the divorce rate is on the decline with the latest statistisics being the lowest in 26 years so perhaps family values are winning out again. I have a few friends who arer single parents and I do think a good few of them would still be with their partners if they were married. A recent interview with Melinda Messenger said when she seperated from her husband it was because she was married that they gave it another go and are now as happy as they've ever been. She said if she hadn't of been married there's no question in her mind that they would still be apart.
Edited to say Also not sure what the rate of splits are between co habiting couples.

daphne_descends

Good googling, Becs

I don't know if it is a good thing that people stay together in unhappy marriages. ESPECIALLY when there are children involved. There is a difference in feeling trapped by marriage, and giving a relationship another go. That is a really silly thing for MM to say, if they weren't married she'd have got rid - so the marriage is more important than the person you are married to? Emma Bunton said in a recent interview that she has no need to get married as their commitment to each other is a personal one.

Marriage is pretty meaningless when it comes to VALUES like fidelity and honour. How many women come on to the relationships forum to vent about their cheating husbands? But it IS important when you have children from a legal point of view, I think. Unless you are as rich as Emma Bunton! Horses for courses and all that.

Pssst

daphne_descends wrote: »

Sorry, what's the divorce rate again?

I am marrying my partner next year but I am SO glad we had our DS first. Believe me you don't know someone until you've wanted to kill them!

I'll bet there are loads of people who'd love to get divorced but cant afford to so they just tolerate a manageable sitution and hope that it doesnt become unmanageable.

shiningdove

Correct me if i'm wrong but you seem like your so tied up in actually wanting him to ask you, have you actually thought is this the right person for you? Read what you've wrote.. you've sort of implied your willing to leave him if he doesn't ask? Thats unbelievable.

Even if my boy didn't want to marry me, i would never leave him - i love him to much, i still want to spend my life with him.

Plus it is a modern world?.. you could always ask him. Whats stopping you?

I understand that everyone wants the perfect life. Move in together, marry the man, have your children, watch them grow up, stay together for ever, but how many people actually get that?

Pssst

I wonder how many guys and girls would be happy just to have some kind of blessing ceremony,with exchange of rings etc but without the actual legal bit...so effectively you have committed to eachother but are not legally married?

After all,the committment bit is the important bit. The Legal bit is all about bestowing various rights with regard to permissions,property,money and children.

Errata

I understand that everyone wants the perfect life. Move in together, marry the man, have your children, watch them grow up, stay together for ever, but how many people actually get that?

Usually those with a shared world view and shared beliefs. Not that rare.