Do I still fit in here if...

faithcecilia

Floss wrote: »

But have the experiences have made you into a "better" person, in that your outlook on life & your focus in general has shifted?

Its made me realise that who I am is okay (theoretically - working on the real feelings!!) and that I don't have to try to be anyone else.

CCP

faithcecilia wrote: »

Its made me realise that who I am is okay (theoretically - working on the real feelings!!) and that I don't have to try to be anyone else.

I hope this doesn't sound really patronising (it's not meant to, I promise!), but I think that's a lesson a lot of people need to learn - myself included, at times.

ceridwen

faithcecilia wrote: »

D'you know, the woman who went in is certainly not the woman who has come out. I thought I was so worldly-wise, that I knew it all and that it was cool to get drunk (not oblitterated, just regularly tipsy). I thought intention and desire would be enough to see me through, and I thought that I could run away from my past by being inside enclosure. None of this consciously, but I now see it. Now I feel more naiive and innocent than ever, yet also far, far older. I realise now that however far you run, you can't run away from yourself. That the past cannot just be left behind because its what has made you who you are - for good and bad. I realise that 'happiness' and immediate pleasures are totally different things.

Well.....that sounds very wise from where I'm standing. :T

It sounds to me like you have had/are still having quite a "rollercoaster" ride and I think it would be fascinating to meet you. I admit as well to getting a greater respect by the day for that Prioress of the Order you were in - from what I am reading between the lines:T. I think you are both probably fascinating characters and probably with a lot of wisdom between you. Christianity is not my own religion - me - I'm a bit of a "hotchpotch" - but, to me, you are representing the best of what I see in it.

You are very right in saying that the past has made you what you are - thats certainly my own experience - and I very much agree with that comment. There is certainly a thought there that we are all - to some extent anyrate - a "product of our environment".

By the way - dont feel too guilty about those shoes you have just bought - I was sitting there telling myself (as I read through todays comments - by yourself and others - "Faith will buy a very practical pair of shoes" - and you did). I guess - right now - one of the things that you are working out is a "balance" between the situation of having no "pride in property"/buying whatever you think you will on a whim (which is what most people in our Society do) and buying what you ACTUALLY need. You are trying to work this out by the sound of it - well kudos to you for that:T - as many people in this Society dont it seems to me.

I was there today worrying whether I had phrased my "posts" on this Forum to you the way I meant/you would see the intention behind them....had I got this all wrong? Are we going to get this all wrong?

As far as I can see - we have all decided to do what we can to help and support you with this "life experience" you are currently going through. Its certainly a (very) unusual experience for most of us at any rate to have a nun/former nun as a "virtual friend" and its certainly something I'm sure we are learning from too. This is a two-way thing here.

I'm a lot less worried now looking at your "posts" today - you're going to "make it" - I know you are. I knew you were before - and now I'm quite certain of it. I shall certainly be following how things go for you with great interest.

I'm certainly admiring what you are saying so far....:T

Psykicpup

ceridwen wrote: »

Well.....that sounds very wise from where I'm standing. :T

It sounds to me like you have had/are still having quite a "rollercoaster" ride and I think it would be fascinating to meet you. I admit as well to getting a greater respect by the day for that Prioress of the Order you were in - from what I am reading between the lines:T. I think you are both probably fascinating characters and probably with a lot of wisdom between you. Christianity is not my own religion - me - I'm a bit of a "hotchpotch" - but, to me, you are representing the best of what I see in it.

You are very right in saying that the past has made you what you are - thats certainly my own experience - and I very much agree with that comment. There is certainly a thought there that we are all - to some extent anyrate - a "product of our environment".

By the way - dont feel too guilty about those shoes you have just bought - I was sitting there telling myself (as I read through todays comments - by yourself and others - "Faith will buy a very practical pair of shoes" - and you did). I guess - right now - one of the things that you are working out is a "balance" between the situation of having no "pride in property"/buying whatever you think you will on a whim (which is what most people in our Society do) and buying what you ACTUALLY need. You are trying to work this out by the sound of it - well kudos to you for that:T - as many people in this Society dont it seems to me.

I was there today worrying whether I had phrased my "posts" on this Forum to you the way I meant/you would see the intention behind them....had I got this all wrong? Are we going to get this all wrong?

As far as I can see - we have all decided to do what we can to help and support you with this "life experience" you are currently going through. Its certainly a (very) unusual experience for most of us at any rate to have a nun/former nun as a "virtual friend" and its certainly something I'm sure we are learning from too. This is a two-way thing here.

I'm a lot less worried now looking at your "posts" today - you're going to "make it" - I know you are. I knew you were before - and now I'm quite certain of it. I shall certainly be following how things go for you with great interest.

I'm certainly admiring what you are saying so far....:T

Ceridwen - those are very wise words!:A I too thought she would buy 'sensible' shoes but I was assuming that she didnt have the pink stillettos:eek:

my post was just to say if you have a chance at a gift you can chose yourself spend it friviously, buy the stuff you wouldnt on a normal budget. Thats what I did when I had nowt ......

Confuzzled

faithcecilia wrote: »

Part of my reason for wanting to eat as cheaply as possible is so that I can afford a bottle of wine a week?:eek: I know it sounds awful, but I admit its true and quite honestly i would rather budget for it and buy it at supermarket price than find myself thinking 'oh blow it' and nipping across to the petrol station.

to be honest to me the best reason to be OS is to make your life more enjoyable!

sometimes it's necessary but many people remain OS even when they don't 'need' to because it feels more comfortable, sits better with their conscience etc etc

regardless don't worry about why everyone else is doing it, for YOU, do it for whatever will make your life happier/better/easier

we don't all live the same way when we have more money than sense (well... i wouldn't know i've always had far more sense than money ) so why should we all do OS for the same reasons?

Confuzzled

randomer wrote: »

Feet cheese is wonderful but we actually had FETA!

feet cheese... terribly OS

truly terrible

faithcecilia

Goodness, if I could go back 3 weeks I would never ever have imagined that I would be feeling so loved by a bunch of people I had never met. I am actually crying now. You are doing me so much good, and I really hope that over the next year it will become more mutual. And yes, I am tipsy thanks to the kindness of another forumite!!!!

vij

Volunteering:

Lundy Island are often looking for volunteers to live on the island from a couple of weeks to a couple of years, they provide food, accom and pocket money, you provide willing hands, and an active mind. Volunteers are as varied as caring for sheep, building/repairing dry stone walls, cleaning accom, cooking or serving at the inn on site. It may be worth emailing them if it appeals to you.

Kind Wishes x

ceridwen

vij wrote: »

Volunteering:

Lundy Island are often looking for volunteers to live on the island from a couple of weeks to a couple of years, they provide food, accom and pocket money, you provide willing hands, and an active mind. Volunteers are as varied as caring for sheep, building/repairing dry stone walls, cleaning accom, cooking or serving at the inn on site. It may be worth emailing them if it appeals to you.

Kind Wishes x

I dont know about Faith - but that quite appeals to me actually:D - but I've got a job I have to keep doing still. Hmmm....Faith...you're not in the same situation......wonders?????

I'm thinking that you are obviously used to hardship - well...thats my definition of hardship living SUCH a simple life as a nun.

I guess all round you will need to sit down and think:
- do I want to be in a busy urban location or somewhere more in the countryside?
- do I want more "physical labour" type work or more people-oriented work?

faithcecilia

vij wrote: »

Volunteering:

Lundy Island are often looking for volunteers to live on the island from a couple of weeks to a couple of years, they provide food, accom and pocket money, you provide willing hands, and an active mind. Volunteers are as varied as caring for sheep, building/repairing dry stone walls, cleaning accom, cooking or serving at the inn on site. It may be worth emailing them if it appeals to you.

Kind Wishes x

Do you have any more info at all please? Email/web address? That could be exactly the sort of thing I need/could offer - I am fit and strong (if a bit emotionally delicate at the moment) and I just LOVE outdoor work!!