Do I still fit in here if...

ceridwen

zippychick wrote: »

Cecilia, i think a lot of people just feel for you as you seem so clueless (no offence intended) and innocent. We can all imagine you as our friend, cousin, daughter, grandaughter - so feel even more for you and im sure we all wish we could help you more than we actually do. If you lived near me, i would be dropping you food parcels over!

...and if you lived near me - I would be accompanying to your DWP interview (if they would let me in....) and keeping a close eye as to exactly what answers you gave to the DWP official - in case you inadvertently said something that they seized on as "evidence" that you were "living with" your landlord.

Me - I've been in T'Big Wide World for years enough (many years!!!!!!) that I second-guess every comment/question anyone could possibly make in contexts like this by now - and have worked an answer/etc to them all by now - but I'm middle-aged and cynical by now and have been told in equivalent circumstances that "you are two steps ahead of them;):D" - but I've had MANY years of working out how to be in that position - it DOES take quite a few years of having to deal with cynical people with very different viewpoints to one's own before one gets to that position. I was once young and VERY VERY idealistic myself.....

On the other hand - your obvious goodness and lack of guile might stand you in very good stead:D

(I am picking up the feeling that your former Order are being very wise and patient in how they are approaching this - I'm impressed. I think I know how this whole experience is going to be for you - and I honestly think it will be positive and will work out for the best in the end. Right now - in the near future - ie a week or two's time, after the DWP interview is over - I am wondering whether some sort of "break" in the countryside would be a good idea for you? The thought of a "working weekend on an organic farm" might well be one way you could do this - and be doing something very useful too. I believe Nature is very regenerative - hence why I think a brief "break" in natural surroundings might be a very good idea once that interview is out of the way).

faithcecilia

Oh goodness, that had never, ever occurred to me, that people would assume a woman lodging with an old friend would be naturally assumed to be his partner. And yes, I am naiive enough to be shocked, I still believe I am called to celibacy, and I don't agree with sex outside of marriage (for myself, no criticism of anyone else). I guess if the worst comes to the worst, I will just have to take up my friends mums offer?

All my little thoughts are running through my head...This too shall pass....I walk by faith not by sight...and good old St Teresa's one - no wonder God has so few friends the way he treats them!!!

Penelope_Penguin

faithcecilia wrote: »

Oh goodness, that had never, ever occurred to me, that people would assume a woman lodging with an old friend would be naturally assumed to be his partner.

Do you know what; I don't think they do There are some very unhelpful comments in this thread, second guessing what the OP's reasons for being turned down for JSA are, and making sweeping assumptions about what the DWP will do.

The DWP see lodgers all the time, and they don;t automatically assume a co-habiting relationship

Cecelia - be honest with the DWP, and if the decision on your benefits doesn't reflect your true position, you have a right to appeal. Good luck!

As this has strayed well away from the original question, I'll add this thread to the OP's previous one on living life after a convent

Penny. x

faithcecilia

Well, as its now Friday and my interview isn't until Monday, I am going to try to not worry about it too much:rolleyes:. I have a nice day planned for today - I was given some vouchers to buy clothes (as I had 1 pair of jeans and a few scruffy tops) but have felt scared of spending them. Today, I will buy a pair of shoes!!!:j Woo hoo! When I think of all the clothes I had a few years ago, shoes to match every outfit and mood, I don't thinkI should be so stressed over having at least one pair (I only have sandals at the mo) and as its vouchers I can't use it for food anyway, sooooo I will try to not feel too guilty.:p

Once again, thanks for all your support, it is making a world of a difference, I don't feel so alone now.:T:A:T

CCP

I don't think there's any need to feel guilty over one pair of shoes - they're a necessity after all. Sandals may be OK at the moment but are likely to result in very chilly feet when winter arrives!

The only person I know who needs to feel guilty about buying a pair of shoes is one of my friends, who already owns over 200 pairs. :eek: I can't imagine what anyone does with that many shoes!

23rdspiral

good luck with the clothes shopping - i hope it cheers you up, even if it's mostly just 'window shopping'. :T
(I went to some charity shops yesterday and got lucky - a lovely M&S Per Una winter skirt that was 60quid last winter, for only 2.99 - thrift, warm clothes and donation to charity all in one go )

PennyPinchingPrincess

I hope all goes well on Monday Cecilia. You're right in trying not to worry about it, worrying fixes nothing! Enjoy your shoe shopping, it's definately too chilly for sandals now so no need to feel guilty about it

carriebradshaw

Penelope_Penguin wrote: »

Do you know what; I don't think they do There are some very unhelpful comments in this thread, second guessing what the OP's reasons for being turned down for JSA are, and making sweeping assumptions about what the DWP will do.

The DWP see lodgers all the time, and they don;t automatically assume a co-habiting relationship

Cecelia - be honest with the DWP, and if the decision on your benefits doesn't reflect your true position, you have a right to appeal. Good luck!

As this has strayed well away from the original question, I'll add this thread to the OP's previous one on living life after a convent

Penny. x

I have to disagree with that, as some years ago I found my self lodging with an old friend who was male,this was after my marriage had broken up and I was making a new claim while looking for work. They did a house call to check we weren't co-habiting! He was on sickenss benefit at the time, that may have been why, I don't know.I had my bags packed behind the sofa and slept on a sofa bed in the living room

Penelope_Penguin

carriebradshaw wrote: »

I have to disagree with that, as some years ago I found my self lodging with an old friend who was male,this was after my marriage had broken up and I was making a new claim while looking for work. They did a house call to check we weren't co-habiting! He was on sickenss benefit at the time, that may have been why, I don't know.I had my bags packed behind the sofa and slept on a sofa bed in the living room

Which is exactly my point; they checked rather than blindly assuming.

Penny. x

carriebradshaw

Penelope_Penguin wrote: »

Which is exactly my point; they checked rather than blindly assuming.

Penny. x

oops! mis-read that sorry PP !