Children Wetting Themselves at school!

milliebear00001

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

I guess I just get confused when people mention not being allowed to deal with accidents involving pre-school children (probably because I used a private nursery)

I would imagine private nurseries vary with how good an educational preparation they can give a child for school - the nursery we used followed the Ofsted guidelines which covers the basics but there were no qualified teachers in employment - personally speaking my children didn't appear to suffer or have a problem when starting school.

For me I was more concerned that they were properly cared for emotionally and physically when away from me at a young age rather than what sort of education they were recieving - after all we did lots of reading and numbers at home - I'm not a qualified teacher but I would think that most parents would do this

You would be surprised how many parents DON'T do that with their children - esp. when they are knackered after being at work all week. Private nurseries are required by law to follow the same framework as all other Early Years organisations. My issue with private nurseries is that because of their need to cater to lots of different parents, working different hours, you often don't get the same continuity of learning or quality of delivery (because of interruptions to the structure of the day etc). The planning is also not going to (usually) be as good as that delivered by a teacher.

I would totally agree that for very young children, it's the quality of their relationships that is most important. Post three, the balance shifts somewhat, and most (but certainly not all) children entering school will benefit from good EY provision. Most teachers can tell the kids who've experienced this immediately they enter Reception, not just because of their number/word skills, but because they are better able to concentrate/sit still/listen etc etc!

Sorry OP for going off topic!

Sami_Bee

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

I guess I just get confused when people mention not being allowed to deal with accidents involving pre-school children (probably because I used a private nursery)

I would imagine private nurseries vary with how good an educational preparation they can give a child for school - the nursery we used followed the Ofsted guidelines which covers the basics but there were no qualified teachers in employment - personally speaking my children didn't appear to suffer or have a problem when starting school.

For me I was more concerned that they were properly cared for emotionally and physically when away from me at a young age rather than what sort of education they were recieving - after all we did lots of reading and numbers at home - I'm not a qualified teacher but I would think that most parents would do this

in my little area of NW england a pre-school is somewhere that only takes children for the government funded 12.5hrs per week.

You as a responsible parent had/made the time introduce your children to letters and numbers etc. but unfortunately a lot of parents don't do this.
Mum tells me that at her school 10years ago most children started school able to dress themselves, count to ten, recognise their name when written down, know the alphabet and maybe read a few words. These days you're lucky if 5 out of the 25 new starters can do those things. Sadly these days lots of parents are too busy working to spend the time teaching their children these things, she often comments that my son (will be 3 in Jan) can do more than half the new intake this year.

andrealm

milliebear00001 wrote: »

If the constipation is an issue for training her, then the pre-school should know this and be as accommodating as possible - consider getting a GP note if they are being difficult, and the soiling is a common occurence. You really need a joint plan at home and nursery to get her out of pull-ups.

The hand-drier thing is common - both mine were/are terrified of them. Shouldn't be a problem at pre-school/home though surely?

Yes it is an issue which has been a problem for some time and the preschool DO know this, we explained it to them when she started and my HV spoke to the the nursery teacher about it as we wanted it to be clear to them that we have done everything possible to train her. We picked a later starting date for her (they start 4 or 5 children very week as part of their settling in process) and we started her at the end of Sept so we would have more time to work on training her.

I don't think nursery care much whether she's in pull ups or not(as long as she doesn't need changing) and I can't see them being interested in us having a joint plan to get her out of them. I would not be happy to send her to nursery in pants in case she had a messy accident given that they seem to think it acceptable to leave her like that for 20 minutes, it would be very distressing for her.

The hand drier issue makes it difficult when we're out and about as she is so scared of them she would not tell us she needed to use the toilet,so we are reluctant to have her in pants. Some time ago we went to the doctor about it and he said he would refer her but we've not heard anything since.

galvanizersbaby

Thanks all for clearing up the pre-school definition for me

When I see a thread referring to a child starting school and having accidents I will bear in mind that the child in question may only be 3 years of age.

I don't really think it's acceptable not to spend time with your children learning the basics before starting big school - I have nearly always worked full time during the kids early years and didn't have a problem - it never occurred to me that it would be an issue.

It is easy enough for most children to learn just through normal day to day experiences - mine enjoyed reading the numbers and letters on car numberplates/playing eye spy/reading the signs when we were out and about etc....though I can sympathise to an extent with the time aspect for working parents I can't really see how it would be that hard and find it rather sad

After all once a child starts big school they need parental support at home with their learning and school work.

Sami_Bee

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

Thanks all for clearing up the pre-school definition for me

When I see a thread referring to a child starting school and having accidents I will bear in mind that the child in question may only be 3 years of age.

I don't really think it's acceptable not to spend time with your children learning the basics before starting big school - I have nearly always worked full time during the kids early years and didn't have a problem - it never occurred to me that it would be an issue.

It is easy enough for most children to learn just through normal day to day experiences - mine enjoyed reading the numbers and letters on car numberplates/playing eye spy/reading the signs when we were out and about etc....though I can sympathise to an extent with the time aspect for working parents I can't really see how it would be that hard and find it rather sad

After all once a child starts big school they need parental support at home with their learning and school work.

You sound like a fabby mum!

I suppose it's one of the many reasons our society is in such a state, lots of women don't know how to be a mum or feel under pressure to 'have it all' and ultimately it's the children that suffer

eira

Not quite on track but----I go into several schools as part of my job and the toilets are always an issue for kids-their design (the half doors/lack of privacy/wash basins/whether the floors are wet ), cleanliness-smells -organic and chemical! , toilet rolls. And what happens in them-- I always suggest that staff monitor how long kids spend in them

At secondary schools there is a whole second network in the lavs.

I have known kids go all day without using the lav at school. It's always worth knowing what the school lav is like and any possible turn off/fear factor for your child

Savvy_Sue

eira wrote: »

I have known kids go all day without using the lav at school.

Happy memories: early in his school career, DS1 was a bit fidgety on the way home, and was hopping up and down by the time we got home (5 minutes from school), and sadly before I could get my key in the lock he had wet himself quite spectacularly!

eira wrote: »

It's always worth knowing what the school lav is like and any possible turn off/fear factor for your child

Although whether you'll be able to DO anything about it is another matter ...

dizzyb99_2

eira wrote: »

Not quite on track but----I go into several schools as part of my job and the toilets are always an issue for kids-their design (the half doors/lack of privacy/wash basins/whether the floors are wet ), cleanliness-smells -organic and chemical! , toilet rolls. And what happens in them-- I always suggest that staff monitor how long kids spend in them

At secondary schools there is a whole second network in the lavs.

I have known kids go all day without using the lav at school. It's always worth knowing what the school lav is like and any possible turn off/fear factor for your child

I couldn't agree more. We've had a terrible time with our 15year old during the past 12 months, he suffers from irritable bowel syndrome and has horrendous diarrhoea on a daily basis. The school toilets are so bad that he will not use them if he can help it, and has called either myself or my husband many times so he can go home to use the toilet, fortunately we have fairly understanding employers. On one occaision he ran out of school and into woods that are across the road from the school where he soiled himself. I had to pick him up and bring him home to have a quick shower and get changed. He was absolutely distraught and so ashamed of himself even though it wasn't his fault.
He now carries his own toilet paper and wipes with him, and gets up about 2 hours before he has to leave the house to allow his bowel to 'settle down' so he won't have to go in school