Keeping on top of housework when you're ill or in other times of crisis?

Savvy_sewing

A note from Shirley Conrans book :-
A astonished husband has returned home from the office to an amazing scene in his kitchen. Two little children are murdering each other while another tot is garrotting the cat. There is a pile of last nights dirty dishs and a heap of dirt laundry. Saucepans are burning, clouds of steam are rising, the floor is covered with smashed crockery and the dog has just upset the litter bin. In the middle of this chaos is his wife, sitting in an easy chair with her feet up on the table. She is reading a novel and dipping into a box of chocolates. She says," I thought that the best way to let you see what on earth do all day was not to do it!.

mummyslittleboy

LameWolf wrote: »

Serena beat me to it!:p

I have lupus, which means I have some reasonably OK days, and some days when I can barely move, and I also suffer from clinical depression, anxiety and social phobia.

The Flylady thread has been a lifesaver - I may not have a showhome, but at least it's all reasonably clean and tidy.

Do come and join us, you'd be made very welcome.:o

Penelope_Penguin wrote: »

I'd heartily recommend the Flylady thread. The tasks are split into three levels each day, so you can just start by doing level one, and then build up as yourhouse gets cleaner and tidier

You could also take a look at the existing thread on hosusework when you're ill. I'll merge this later, to keep ideas together

Hi

I can only echo what the others have said about flyladys, to me and my children it has been a lifesaver, I have Ehler Danlos syndrome so does my yougest daughter and my youngest son has mobility problems and global development delay and I was struggling with my housework to until I joined flyladys I have days were I might not get anything done but if I don't it really doesn't matter you need to learn how to pace yourself doing small bits at a time I find helps you don't need to clean everything at once.

Once you find that you have organised your time and can pace what you do it will all fall into place I quite often sit down to do things ie veg for dinner, ironing this all helps to give me a bit more energy to go on and get other jobs done.

You say that your job is making you feel down and depressed I can understand that maybe it is worth looking for something else something you might enjoy rather than something you dread maybe it is worth seeing if you could get to the job centre and see if they can help you find something else.

Goodluck

patchwork_cat

Yes and I have a friend who feels exactly the same , I think partly it is an age thing this mid life crisis feeling. Slog, slog is this all there is to life?

As for the kitchen floor you either need a better, longer mat or do what I do because of our dog, I leave an old towel in front of the back door and this saves a lot of mess, just pick it up and put in washer or pick it up if anyone comes in that you are bothered about creating a good impression for. I also have flip flops outside the back door and slip them off before coming into the house.

I know that my kids wouldn't give me 2 hours on a saturday, but they will give 10 minutes a day and that helps. It is new that I have started giving them chores and there is a lot of moaning, but I am being firm!

Penelope_Penguin

doelani wrote: »

I know this does not seem a lot but I have health problems so am very slow and after a few minutes need to rest. Every day just never got to the end of teh list.

Have asked hubby will he hoover stairs tonight ( I cannot do them ) and windows need cleaned. I will take him WEEKS to do these two jobs. Do not get me wrong he works hard, is tired when he comes home, I am home all day so have time to do things just never get them finished. I have been trying to get around to hoovering bedroom for a week.

I know some people love housework, I try and keep on top of it but just never ends.:( I have tried flylady thread before but gave up after a few weeks.

Does anyone else feel like me?

You might like to take a look at this thread on sharing housework amongst family members

You can also take a look at keeping on top of housework when you're ill.

I'll add this thread to the second link later.

And do take another look at Flylady - start on level 1 and see how you do

ceridwen

Mooloo wrote: »

A note from Shirley Conrans book :-
A astonished husband has returned home from the office to an amazing scene in his kitchen. Two little children are murdering each other while another tot is garrotting the cat. There is a pile of last nights dirty dishs and a heap of dirt laundry. Saucepans are burning, clouds of steam are rising, the floor is covered with smashed crockery and the dog has just upset the litter bin. In the middle of this chaos is his wife, sitting in an easy chair with her feet up on the table. She is reading a novel and dipping into a box of chocolates. She says," I thought that the best way to let you see what on earth do all day was not to do it!.

I've got Shirley Conrans Superwoman books - and she makes a lot of sense in what she says. She's probably one of the people who started me "on the road" to being organised - and does make a lot of good points:T:D. Her books are a trifle "dated" these days - but well worth reading nonetheless.

charlies-aunt

Lower your standards! And cut yourself some slack!

Life is not a rehearsal, you can only live this day once and why spend your precious time on this earth being an unappreciated domestic servant?

What is everyone else doing whilst you're cleaning and polishing?? at a guess they'll be relaxing, having fun or just spending time doing stuff that they want to do.

The house has to be clean enough to be healthy, but dirty enough to be happy. If anyone complains that the kitchen floor is showing marks - pass them the mop and tell 'em to crack on...

Some of the biggest things that you can do for your kids is teach them to have self respect, take on responsibilty and how to look after themselves.
You will have to be self disciplined - if they won't put clothes to wash or tidy their bedrooms - leave them to it - the world won't come to an end because they have 20 dirty socks laid on the floor and no clean clothes to wear. They will soon learn to co-operate when things become inconvenient for them.

"A hungry man makes the best cook"

meritaten

I FEEL for you hun.
first the kitchen floor - its a pain doing it EVERY day. I used to when i had light cushionfloor. but then I found this marvellous cushionfloor that is medium coloured and looks like wood planks but is already dirty!!!! antique oak I think it was called - worth every penny and more!!! wonderful - now it only gets done when my feet stick to it - about once a fortnight!!!!
the younger kids could do a LOT more! watch supernanny for tips on getting kids to help! even three year olds can help with loading washing or fetching things for you - the trick is to make them feel good about helping! reward charts are good but lots of praise and hugs is better!
the older one needs to be sat down and told that he doesnt get hotel service anymore!!! you are not well enough and as an adult he needs to be responsible for certain things (these things are down to you - are you willing to do his washing as long as he carts it downstairs?).
you say you have tried these things before but things go back after a few days. could this be because you havent been persistent enough? if you tell him that he needs to bring his washing down and he doesnt - do you then go and get it? WHY? let him rant and rave because he hasnt got anything clean to wear! then tell him you were quite happy to wash his clothes but they werent in washing basket! (a washing basket kept by washing machine for dirty clothes is a good idea as you shouldnt be running all over the place looking for dirty clothes) even the youngest kids can understand that dirty clothes go in there then mummy washes them and clean clothes appear!
cooking - cook double the quantities of fave meals then freeze half! then for the nights you dont feel up to cooking there is always something nice to eat!
windows - can you afford a window cleaner? not every week but say once every couple of months?
your OH needs to help more - but this you need to sit down and talk about - could he take over some of YOUR responsibilities? not arduous tasks but little things like putting clean clothes in the kids rooms or packing lunches?
just some suggestions hun - I know where you are coming from as I have a progressive disability. I too tried to do too much and are paying for it even though the kids have all left now!

knithryn

I used to have this 'hang up' about needing the house to look perfect, especially if someone dropped in.
Then I looked after a friend's cats for two weeks while she was on holiday. I went to her house every day etc. There were socks under the sofa, grubby bits in the kitchen, discoloured grout in the bathroom. And you know what - I'd never noticed any of this before. It was only because I was there on my own for an hour or so keeping the cats company. When I was visiting her as a friend, I was too busy chatting to notice. I'll bet it's the same in your house, nobody would notice if the floor had a few marks on it or a few bits and bobs sitting around.
I'd aim for a 'happy home' not a 'perfect house'.
At the moment I'm working my socks off and OH is at home, off work with stress. I've HAD to let go of my standards. He does the laundry and the dishes and hoovers. Not much else. But its enough to keep things ticking along. This week is half term. I shall do the dusting and tidy up. Wipe a few marks off the walls. I've got better things to be doing, like spending time with OH, going out for a day etc.
Rooms don't need to be cleaned more than once a week in my opinion. Some don't even need to be cleaned that often. Some, like a living room might need a quick hoover midweek. Show homes are just that, show. None of us actually live like that.

sammy_kaye18

doelani - I didn't want to read and run but wanted to let you know I can sympathise with your story.

we are a house of myself, partner, our 6 year old son and step son on weekends.

I am currently 35 weeks pregnant also and my partner rang to basically give me abuse yesterday because I had gone to his mothers house after the school run to see how his sick nephew was - I was there for possibly an hour and a half and left her house after telling her specifically that i needed to go home as i had cleaning to do.

Apparently my leash doesn't stretch that far to allow me to have that minuscule social life away from the brush and cleaning supplies! so he threw a hissy fit and stayed at his friends house last night.

Although have to say I came home and cleaned and it was lovely to wake up to a nice clean flat and I got to relax and chill out then by myself before enjoying the luxury of a nice big double bed to myself and bump!

According to boyfriend though I should be able to do all the housework, and manage bills, and walk the dog, and manage the school run, and caring for our 6 year old, and food shopping, and his errands, and the washing, and my midwife appointments, and care for his other son on weekends etc with great ease because being 35 weeks pregnant with her head already 3/5ths engaged is easy = oh and not to mention working my weekend shifts on top of those so that's 5 hours on my feet on a Saturday night and then 7 hours on my feet on a Sunday, and the fact our son has been ill this last week with an infection in his tooth!!!

Thankfully this weekend is my last shift before I start maternity leave so god help him because I'm off for 6 months now!

sorry about the rant - hope your situation improves. How old are the children?? my 6 year old knows to take plates out after a meal, make his bed, and tidy his room and his daily chore is to put the dogs bowl in the kitchen ready for me to put food out and then my son feeds the dog (hes a JRT and son is supervised although he's more chance of being harmed by his pant elastic than the dog!).

whiteguineapig

i am amazed that you wash your wheelie bin out
even me whos quite picky doesn't do this, if its messy leave the lid open when its nearly empty so it has a dry out but never wash it out