Keeping on top of housework when you're ill or in other times of crisis?

ceridwen

charlies-aunt wrote: »

Life is too short for this . . . seriously - you will look back to this time in 20 years time and think !!!!!!? You are young with a young family - get yourself out and about with the children and give them childhood memories of having fun together, playing together and spending time with friends. In years to come, your children will remember the picnics in the park feeding the ducks and strolling with you in the sun - they won't remember how spotless the house was.

There'll be plenty of time for housework when they are grown up and gone.

If keeping the house immaculate is so important to your partner, logically he ought to pitch in and help out . . . . if he won't help - its seems pretty obvious that the whole housework issue is just a stick to beat you with so he can control you...this is domestic violence - not in physical abuse but certainly mental cruelty.

As for throwing a hissy fit and staying out for the night . . aawww! diddums . . . . did he spit his dummy out and throw his toys out of the pram at the same time?

If you give in now and does as he wants you to do, you will be tacitly agreeing to a lifetime of domestic slavery...

Awww...Sammy....from what I can see = you try so hard. Ach...blow him....:kisses3:

Savvy_sewing

cbrown372 wrote: »

Shirley Conran is more famous for having said life is too short to stuff a tomato. Don't sweat the small stuff is my motto.

The front of the book I have said "Life is to short to stuff a mushroom!" Same princaple though!!

BitterAndTwisted

She also said something to the effect that it's better for you and more fun to lie on a sofa than to dust under it. Wise words indeed.

Samanthamum

Thank you all! I feel my job is causing my depression to florish and I really need a change. Difficult in these times for someone with so many health issues. Your kindness means a lot x

uolypool

I myself struggle imensily with house work I have Fibromyalgia and get exhausted so quickly ,At the moment I seem to spend most of my time either huddled up on sofa or in bed sleeping.Recently (wed last week) had a carpal tunnel op done on my right hand which has taken its toll on me at the moment too.My children have been a godsend but without sounding ungrateful or picky sometimes I cringe because is not quite as clean as I would like.God I sound like a right selfish ungrateful cow:o:o.How can I help them to help me feel like a faliure as a parent .

SusanC_2

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

We can't afford a cleaner. We're self employed and money is tight. The boys are 5 and 2. They do like to help lay the table etc. Thanks for that.

I don't know how long they take to get set up and how long you have but have you tried Home Start?

Also, have you looked into ESA? If you are self employed and paying NI then it is the equivalent of sick pay for an employed person.

Savvy_sewing

SusanC wrote: »

I don't know how long they take to get set up and how long you have but have you tried Home Start?

Also, have you looked into ESA? If you are self employed and paying NI then it is the equivalent of sick pay for an employed person.

There could be quite a waiting list for Homestart, and its not in all areas! I have had my twins down for them and never managed to get one yet. The children are now 2 and 1/2 just over. Both twins children. But now I care for my granddaughter, and someone pointed out to me today perhaps I should be getting thier help, so I am going to ring again and ask if this time I can get the help!.

good luck.

EllieA_3

Girls and Guy's I need your help, i've tryed to join the flylady challenge multiple times but i've never quite got off the ground. My house is in utter chaos a total mess. Actually to be fair it's beyond just a mess it's down right dirty.

Thing is i work long hours, (can be out from 6am till 10pm) i'm always on the road and having been out all day i'm often too exhusted to tidy up when i get home with time only for food/bath/bed.

My husband tries to help by cooking most week day evenings and he often tidy's the kitchen and living room etc but it's a quick tidy mostly just skimming off the surface clutter and a quick hoover he also deal's with the kids and does all the washing/ironing.

Right now i try and use the slow cooker monday/tues because we are both out all day, wednesday/thur my husband cooks and Friday we tend to treat ourselfs to a takeaway.

Then at the weekend I cook and batch make things like sandwiches for lunchs and try and catch up with the housework, while trying to spend time with my kids who i barely see in the week.

We have been struggling on this since january, (since i took the new job) the house wasn't really clean before this but it is getting worse and worse.

I used to be a really good meal planner and managed to stick to a tight buget but my husband isn't much of a cook so he's stuggling to keep the costs of meals down.

Yesterday i spent £160 on an asda delivery and didn't plan any of it!!! I just launched random food in the basket so i have a bunch of random stuff arriving and no idea what we are making with it. So Costs of food are slowly creeping up because of a lack of planning.

There just arn't enough hours in the day. I need to get my food spending back under control and get my house tidy.

mummyroysof3

I hope you dont mind me replying,

my first thoughts are, how old are your children? are they old enough to help a little to earn pocket money maybe?

can you afford a cleaner?

could meal planning and shopping lists be done on your lunch break/while traveling?

what is it that bothers you the most? maybe work on that first

hth even a little x

Penelope_Penguin

Why not try rejoining Flylady; unless you're prepared to employ someone to clean, I really don;t see there being any other way

• Get a cleaner
• If you can't face this, then promise yourselves you'll both spend 1 hour only on saturday morning, just doing level 1 jobs. In March you'll be able to progress to level 2 jobs.
• How old are your children - if they can make mess then they're old enough to join in
• Sit down with DH and meal plan for the whole of Feb (28 meals, not necessarily asigning each meal to a particular day) then shop accordingly. you can start your plan around the food you've ordered
• Join the Grocery Challenge - there are lots of recipes there to help you get your budget to an acceptable level

Good luck :T