Keeping on top of housework when you're ill or in other times of crisis?

noapron

It has been stated that your children could help and this may be true. It is only right if you always have such a very long day, that your husband cooks in the evening but can I ask: if the tables were reversed and he had the excruciatingly long day (he may also have this for all i know) if he would expect that after work you did more than cook a meal? For example does he know how to sort the laundry and put a load on, get the children organized for the next day, run a Hoover rounds, or wipe out the bathroom?

You have been spending long hours on the road, so you need rest, and you say 'we've been struggling' but is your DH equally as concerned? Flyladies is fine, to get started and I certainly use their morning a d evening routine ideas, but I'd say you both need a sit down with some paper and pens to work out who does what, so jobs don't build up, e.g a month's worth of laundry or so many piles of papers and bills, it takes ages to sift through.

If money is not a problem, then employ a cleaner, preferably on recommendation, just until you get straight.

As you say sometimes there aren't enough hours in the day, so in your situation, because you seem to be the one who had the routines down pat, perhaps it's time to sit down, make a list of what needs doing, prioritise some jobs over others and explain why you need to get new routines in place to suit you. I don't know if you both get up together, but if he did would this give him time to do a few small jobs, if normally he doesn't get up till well after you? I suppose it's time to work out who spends most time at home, and who has the time to do most. I wish you luck though I would suggest 16-hour days, with vast amounts of driving may be difficult to maintain. My DH gets tired if he does over 1000 miles a week, but if he is too tired he will stay in a hotel and get up early the following day. Are you able to do that?

EllieA_3

Quick pop in as I have a small gap in my workload. Just to quickly try and answer so questions.

I did start flyladys thread, I think I tried to stick to it for about 2 weeks but im not one for posting loads more of a lurcker but you right I need to do better.

Secondly, sorry just to clear up im not out 6am till 10pm every night!! That would be nuts but it can and does happen most days I’m out from about 7am till about 7-8pm. So really I know I should be doing better than I am.

My husband gave up work to be a house husband when I took on the more demanding job, but he’s also in college trying to get an education so he’s not in all day every day, he’s in collage from 9-5 mon/tues and on a Friday, he’s off on a Wednesday and Thursday which he uses to keep on top of the washing/ironing and basic day to day clutter, hoovering etc but his mum and dad are elderly so he spends a fair amount of time running around after them as well. So while he isn’t exactly getting down and scrubbing the floors I can’t exactly accuse him of being lazy either.

Mostly I think if I can get on top of the current mess and dirt which has been building up for years and I’ve never really got on top of, I think my husband can manage to keep it straight with a little help from me and the kids once we get it to a decent level. It’s just getting it there which is so overwhelming. One of our biggest problems is that we have far too much stuff for such a little house and it spills out everywhere making it very hard to clean anything.

I know this isn’t a short term problem, it’s been going on for a long time ever since I went back to work after the kids it’s just been slow slipping over a long period of time and seems to have come to a head when I took the new job in jan.

Thankyou all so much for the idea’s they have been really great I just need to get a handle on things and regain control before I lose the plot.

short_bird

That is a punishing schedule. No doubt about it. Add to that the uncertainty that anyone has a few weeks into a new job and I'm not surprised you're stressing.

Would concentrating on 2 things help?

the food - checking what's in stock, meal planning + ordering accordingly
the bills - getting as much of that as possible on line so it can be dealt with as and when

Having said that, I read one really great idea this morning which might be applicable in your case: whole family cleans on one day. At least you know that the work will get done on that day and can think during the rest of the week "OK, that'll get done on Saturday or Sunday". And although it isn't a definition of quality time, it's stuff the children need to learn.

A long time ago, me and the ex came to the conclusion that it was worth getting a cleaner to do hall, stairs, landing and the biggies: bathroom and kitchen.

strawberrypud

I sympathise, I hate chaos too. Can I ask what you do that results in you being out of the house for so long? Can you afford to work less hours? Your work/life balance sounds pretty unbalanced.

I can only second the idea to hire a cleaner or see if you can work less hours so you are at home more.

Good luck!

Taliahmai

Just a thought but...you said you (understandably) like to spend quality time with the kids at the weekends....could you not turn cleaning the house into fun time spent together??....im not sure how old your kids are, they might not enjoy it so much if there older but on a weekend morning me and my kids (8 and 4) have a 'race' and the kids love it. We turn the music up loud, all have a bin bag/box each and have a race around the house for 15 mins and see who can collect either the most amount of rubbish or things that dont belong where they are....we then all work together at putting them where there meant to be or throw out. Its amazing how much you can get sone in 15 mins. We then do something fun for a while then have another 15 mins later on. Or we also have a baking morning, the kids love heping out (and licking the bowl out after) then when we are waiting for the things to cook we clean the kitchen up, wash up put away wipe sides down. It also gives us lots of yummy things to eat for pack ups etc

Spendless

Hi Ellie, I understand where you are coming from. We are in a similar position, but my husband does the gruelling work-hours and I work school hours round the kids 4 days a week, and on my time off, am available to help out with parents and ILs with health problems and an elderly grandmother.

You've identified that if you got on top of things, it would be easier for you. Could you book some AL to devote a couple of days to doing this, or can the kids help out or go somewhere whilst you devote a weekend to doing it? I know some companies offer 1 off cleans, I've seen them advertised around here, is that an option, just to get yous traight?

Mrs_B

I came across the MSE Flyladies by accident at the beginning of this year - and, although I still have a house that comes under the description of CHAOS, I do feel that in a very small way I am making progress - and, I have found them a truly supportive group who are always looking to congratulate a small achievement rather than criticise failings - and there is a wealth of helpful hints and tips given to every question asked. And, no-one tells me to tie my shoes every morning either. :eek:

I have spent far too much of my life overwhelmed by Everything That Needs Doing, and too little time making a little progress. Everyone's personal circumstances are different which gives us different problems to resolve as we try to achieve a house that is a home in the way that pleases us (and that should mean us and no-one else), but I do think the MSE Flyladies are a group of :A and I'm sure they'd welcome you and help you move in a direction that makes you feel happier.

gemini12

Just a quick thought have you considered getting in a company that will spring clean your whole house which will give you a good start.

Get the children to tidy their own rooms once a week before they can go out to play or whatever. Yes I know they will probably do a rotten job to start with but it will improve. At the same time you and your other half can do the rest of the house. If you start from a clean base this shouldnt take too long.

Allegra

GreyQueen wrote: »

Why, I personally know women WHO DON'T IRON (nor do they hire someone else to do so). Never. At all. And they still have jobs, spouses and friends. If you're sly enough, you too can move slowly towards an ironing-free life.

Have we met ? :whistle:

Smashing post, btw

spendingmad

I organise my week as follows (based on flylady but more specific to me!)

Dailies

Wash Up......................................20mins
Vac Downstairs.............................10mins
Tidy Kitchen & Lounge....................15mins
One load of washing.......................15mins
Any Ironing as a result of above ......20mins

Thats approx 1hour 20 mins split into 2/3 'sessions' eg. put 1. washing on and wash up, tidy kitchen 2. take washing out, hang, tidy lounge 3. Iron & vac downstairs

I then break down my bigger tasks into rooms (based on flylady) which works something like this

Monday - Living Room
Wash windows
Dust
Vac/Wipe Sofa
One bedding wash

Tues - Kitchen
Wash windows
Wash cupboard doors
Dust
Mop

Weds - Upstairs
One bedding wash
Dust bedrooms
Vac Upstairs and Stairs

Thurs - Bathrooms
Clean bathrooms
Clean windows if needed

Friday - Sort out day
Sort that cupboard/drawer/wardrobe

Could you share the jobs with OH by nominating him to do your Mon-Fri list whilst you do dailys or vice versa. I don't count shopping and cooking as chores as I really enjoy it!! so that helps.

Make flylady work for you - use the bits you like and dump the bits you dont (sorry flyladies;))

I think men like a list and to know what to do when so this may help. Also I suspect you do alot of the dailys yourself anyway so giving him the other jobs will make improvements:cool: