Keeping on top of housework when you're ill or in other times of crisis?

valk_scot

So basically he has college three days a week, four days off and helps out his elderly parents, but you've still got most of the household responsiblities apart from the day to day stuff plus a 12 hour a day full time job?

Stop right there and think about this. If the situation was reversed do you honestly think he'd be expecting to come home and start tidying up? Would you expect him to?

I think you need to sit down and have a little chat tbh. It's very possible if he's been used to you doing the vast majority of the housework in the past he may not realise how many other jobs there are to do beside the laundry, cooking and a bit of hoovering. Write a list...daily jobs (which it sounds like he does already), once a week jobs and monthly jobs. Plus all-the-time-jobs, such as picking up and putting things away as soon as you're finished with them. He may be aghast at all these jobs but really, if you're working a 60 hour week he's going to have to take on a bit more. And your kids...I've missed the bit about how old they are, but if they're over five then they can and should be helping. It's all very well saying you want family time at the weekends but this doesn't mean they then sit down on their butts while you run around crazy. Make one morning family clean-up time instead, with a treat for lunch if the work is done by then. But really, you're trying to do too much in order to let them off a reasonable share. I don't quite understand why tbh. Do you?

mlz1413

EllieA wrote: »

Thanks for the advice guys, i've just got home from work and i've just wolfed down some stew before i hit the flylady's thread and get some stuff done then im going to see if i can't turn this food in my cuboards into a food plan for the month.

Honestly i'm not sure about the idea of a cleaner i can see the merit and i could mostly likely afford it as a one off, but i think i'd been too ashamed to let someone into my house in it's current state because it's really gross.

Honestly you CAN let a cleaner into your home
1) you are paying them
2) they agree to take the work
3) cleaning is what they do
4) that's what they are there for!

You would be so much better off getting the hard bit done for you.

Get you & hubby to spend 1 hour wed, thur, sat & sun boxing up clutter. Then get the cleaners in.

Then only allow stuff out of the boxes if it has a home - anything on the floor over night goes to charity or in the bin.

I remember a hoarder being made to stand outside of his bedroom and name in 30 secs everything that was precious to him within that room (leaving out furnishings) - the guy struggled and could only name big items. He was then made to remove everything else, when he saw how clean the room was it gave him the desire to re-home / throw out the 'stuff' he had hoarded.

Primrose

I sympathise. Usually there just arn't enough hours in the day. I've found that the first secret to having a reasonably organised house is to try and be absolutely ruthless about getting rid of surplus junk, bric a brac and possessions which just simply lurk about the house or get moved from one place to another because nobody quite knows what to do with them.

Can you try and nominate a particular week-end which is going to be "clear out" day and make everybody contribute something to reducing the clutter mountain. The clearer work surfaces, shelves, window ledges and floors are, the easier it is to whizz round with a vacuum cleaner and a duster. Also, the less cluttered look will have a calming effect.

You and your OH have a pretty hectic schedule. You can't achieve everything. I don't know how old your kids are, but start getting them trained in tidying up and general housekeeping discipline now. A few times of having toys and possessions thrown into the dustbin because they haven't been cleared up will help concentrate their minds.

smeeinnit

Hey OP (hugs)

I got myself into a bit of a tizz working long hours so I now do the following to keep myself sane:

• Never iron unless careful washing/drying/storing defeats the garment. Can't remember the last time I used the iron other than do a wundaweb repair.
• Get shopping delivered, to me its worth every penny of the delivery charge
• Get a milkman - we get through 20 odd pints a week and I got fed up going to the shops every five minutes (reduces impulse buys too)
• batch cook ie I do a big pan of bolognese/stew and divide into 4 x 2 portions, there's 2 meals a week for both of us for 4 weeks sorted
• get OH to cook once or twice a week or more
• stop stressing about dust/what other people think
• keep the visible areas relatively clutter free
• keep the kitchen and bathroom reasonably clean by doing swish & swipe frequently ie in TV advert time
• Get plently of sleep and have some "me time" doing what pleases me whatever that is ie telly/play guitar/internet etc
• have the occasional weekend morning blitz and treat myself to a nice long sit down/cuppa/watch telly after

I dont have children but definitely agree if they are old enough they can do their bit to help too

HTH and if you can work less hours then do, all the best

elaine12022

Hi ellieA

Hope you're feeling well. Lots of good suggestions here.

If you want some encouragement on decluttering you might want to join the Declutter thread, every little counts

sammiell

I am a cleaner and i say just get one, ive cleaned all sorts some are really spick and span and i just clean so they dont have to spend there time off cleaning . Some are in a right muddle ive just got on top of one clients house and the difference in them is unbelieveable they thought i would turn round and walk out i didnt! it makes me happy to be able to help and see the difference i can make my job is to clean not judge!! i used to run a residential home as an assistant home manager and ive been in the position where i was working long hours and my home was suffering i like things to be just so so i was getting in a state about it i was lucky enough to be able so stop and i now do something i enjoy and help other to boot

wilf55

just subscribing. i have no excuse for my house but sounds like yours!

Primrose

emg wrote: »

I'm also a great believer in 'do it during the ads'. In the evenings I try to do something in every ad break. Wash up, hang up washing, clean loo, put some things away, take the recycling out, wipe down the fridge, etc. I am constantly amazed by how much I can get done in those little 3 minute chunks of time. .

I think using the TV "ad breaks" is a great idea. I'm sure that if we all had a stopwatch and used it to record the number of hours per week which were totally "lost" to us because we were idly watchings adverts rather than a legitmate programme, we'd all be quite shocked. Especially if we then started to ask ourselves what else of use we could have been doing during that time when we're all complaining that we "time deprived".

Although I'm at home during the day now, I never watch daytime tv and try and often use the ad breaks in the evening for getting up and doing a few physical exercises. It certainly doesn't amount to an 30 minute daily programme but it's a case of "every little helps".

In fact, this has got me thinking about how those darned TV ads waste our precious time I'm going to start a new thread on small quick things to do during the Advertising breaks to try and help us all concentrate our minds and get more organised !

Spendless

I remembered that Gingham Ribbon asked for help on organising a house some time ago and then later came back and said what had worked, which I thought was a fab idea. In her case her problems were due to illness so some things may not be relevant, but I thought her response telling peopel what she found helpful might be. (reply #37)

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1925209=

sp1987

I know someone who has a cleaner in weekly. They are so 'ashamed' of her seeing mess that they do a quick whip round before she comes, two adults and two adult children. 'Tidy up for the cleaner' the daughter says, lol. Either way they pay for two hours a week for a clean house. I would sooner do it myself and spend the money on cake but that certainly works for some people. The cleaner must be in heaven, no actual work, just wiping or hoovering a bit of dust.

Some cleaners get a very strange sense of satisfaction from cleaning a dirty house into a clean one though. Much like people in the car wash who obsessively remove ANY mark and won't let you leave until it's gone. Those people are saints, lol.

Can you ignore jobs that don't need doing until you have sorted the bits that do? I.e. not many clothes need ironing. I used to iron all of my sons babygrows, towels, sheets, bibs everything...until I realised he just wanted to throw up on them and only needed them clean, dry and organised...so I just folded them nicely after drying them on a towel rail as it reduced creasing. I only iron my items if they stand up themselves through creases (like some jeans do), lol...most can be put on a hot radiator to drop creases when dry.