Boyfriend been using my credit card

newcook

what an absolute waste of space he sounds - he's stolen, he's lied, he's done !!!!!! all for weeks apart from drink and spend your money and you are giving him a second chance?!?

get your money back and get rid of him - you deserve someone much better. while you say you are scared of being bored and alone it is better than being with a thief and a liar - and regardless of what he has done, if I was him and found out my OH was only with me because they didnt want to be alone I wouldnt be a happy bunny. anyone deserves better than that.

Sarah_Joanne

I don't think you should simply accept what he has done "so long as he gets a job". The issue isn;'t really him not working, it's him lying to you and stealing form you.

I agree with above posters, if I were in your shoes I'd give him x time to pay it back in full or I would report him to the police. I would also end this relationship as whatever happened from now on I don;t think I'd ever be able to trust him again.

He doesn't deserve your sympathy - he needs to sort his life out and stop dragging yours down by the sounds of it.

I really hope this works out for you x

jamespir

he sounds untrustworthy to me although we all amke mistakes why dont you make him do some work for you to help clear the debts

Bufger

get shot of him, that is terrible behaviour. Your first sign should be the fact that he came off jobseekers because he didnt want to go on a course. THATS A SIGN that he doesnt actually want a job, he's happy being a full time bum.

Some relationships are worth saving from drink problems and if it was immediate family you would probably still have a go. This guy isnt your husband and i can guarantee you a better guy will come along that actually wants to earn a wage and have nice things.

Maybe hang out in better bars? meet a new bunch of friends? it could be your lifestyle or friends network that attracts these losers. Dont have anything shared with someone that cant be bothered to get a job!

mrbrightside842

jamespir wrote: »

he sounds untrustworthy to me although we all amke mistakes why dont you make him do some work for you to help clear the debts

We all make mistakes, yes, but it's how we deal with them that gives an indication of character. Lying about the mistakes and hiding all evidence of them over a long period of time, when it's sure to be found out as well as build up more debts/default notices for the other person, is not a sign of someone who is sorry or whom is of good character.

DKLS

Time for the Op to be wearing some new earrings, I understand that round and hairy ones are in fashion.

More realistically kick him to the curb and find a man who will pull his weight.

sarahs999

Do you know what? I wouldn't even chase him for the money, because who knows how long that would drag on for and you might then end up relenting and letting him back into your life, just to !!!! it up again. I'd just close the door, learn your lesson and be shot of him. I do realise how easy it is to say this on a forum, to a stranger whose pain I can't feel, but the advantage of forums is that you get the truth when you ask for it. You just need to move on with your life and try to find someone who treats you properly.

Lotus-eater

To the OP.
He is living off you and drinking too much, is this the reason he can't get a job?
I'm not saying he won't change, but it's going to need a massive jolt to get him to do so.
Tbh, if he's living off his Mum at his age, he's gone too far to help and he will always be like that. He has no respect for himself or others.
Time to let him stand on his own two feet and see what happens to him, I suspect he will survive off his Mum and continue to do nothing, proof that he would have done the same to you.

geri1965_2

I've taken my credit card(s) out of the house and put them somewhere else for safe keeping. My credit rating is fine, I applied for a new interest free card earlier this week (before I knew all this) and got accepted straight away.

I have told him that he must move out and has to work to regain my trust, although I can't guarantee that I will ever forgive him. He is going to his mum's later to sort that side of it out, hopefully he will come back with a cheque or at least a promise that the money will be paid into my bank.

If that doesn't happen, more serious measures may need to be taken.

I don't feel like I want to meet any other men. I can't trust my judgement - when I met him and he had a job, I thought I had broken the pattern.

Bufger

Trust me there are men out there that want to work and want to have a support a family. Most of my friends at work are single or have girlfriends and they're all on a high wage waiting to be snapped up! they're the kind of active adventure loving people that wouldnt end up stealing and giving up.

There is always better out there, just refine your judgement of people and be much more cautious