Boyfriend been using my credit card

geri1965_2

Thanks all.

Yes, you need a pin to get cash out - I've never used my credit card to get cash, but I must have changed the pin to the same one as my debit card, which I normally keep on me but he knows the pin because sometimes I give it to him to get cash out for me if I can't be bothered to go over to the cashpoint.

He gets money from his mum now and again, she sold her main house to his sister at a discount and she has given the others the same amount to make it fair - it's kind of their inheritance given early.

I feel completely lost because he is the person I turn to when things go wrong - he's my best friend, and because he is the one who has upset me I don't know who to turn to to make it better. I feel like I don't know him now and I can't believe he has done this to me.

I'm also scared of living on my own - I've done it before and I coped fine, but I'm worried I'll be bored and lonely. Most of my family and friends are a few miles away (two bus rides or further).

Sorry to hear about your kitten, memelalou.

ginvzt

Ok, I trust my OH, but he still doesn't know any of my pin codes! And, I have different pin codes for all my cards..

GettingHitched

I started reading this thinking that this man was a twenty something wide boy, who needed to grow up, and wondering what on earth his mother had been doing when she should have been teaching him responsibility and how to be a decent human being...read on, and find he is only a few months older than my OH:eek::eek:

I cant understand why or how someone could steal from their loved ones, and then lie about it..makes me want to come and batter him for you..

someone said to give him a deadline, and then take matters further legally. I knows it been 6 years, but this pathetic excuse for a man is using you as a cash cow, if the bank hadnt called how much longer would you have been paying/working to house this lazy, lying, toerag

I say drop kick him outta the door, and get rid...


im also sending a great big ((((hug))))

Takoda

Kick him into touch - you'll never be able to trust him again.

Be glad it was a relatively small amount. He could've run up thousands!

not_tonight_josephine_2

Sorry to hear your story OP, and would agree with most of the advice you've been given already!

On a more practical note I think you also need to see what damage has been done to your credit rating by this - does it show late payments or has it actually gone to a default notice (I'm guessing your OH would have hidden this too if one arrived)? This could have an impact on you being able to get a mortgage/other credit for years to come.

If he has affected your credit record seriously then I would insist that he admits to the bank that he made the transactions fraudulently.......although probably not a good idea for him to tell them he knew your pin.

Good luck and hope you get things sorted

GPedro

ginvzt wrote: »

Ok, I trust my OH, but he still doesn't know any of my pin codes!

Why not? You either trust him or you don't..

I've had to use my wifes cards occasionally for varying reasons, although I don't remember the PINs now. It shouldn't be an issue. If you can't trust your partner with your belongings/money, then you're with the wrong person.

It consistently astounds me how many people appear to be happy being in relationships with compulsive thieves and liars. It doesn't have to be this way...

sleepless_saver

Can't help with the emotional bit other than to sympathise, but on a practical note have you now changed both your PINs?

ginvzt

GPedro wrote: »

Why not? You either trust him or you don't..

I've had to use my wifes cards occasionally for varying reasons, although I don't remember the PINs now. It shouldn't be an issue. If you can't trust your partner with your belongings/money, then you're with the wrong person.

It consistently astounds me how many people appear to be happy being in relationships with compulsive thieves and liars. It doesn't have to be this way...

We have a joint account and he is welcome to use it. He has his own current account and credit card, and so do I. If we need money, we just transfer to each other or we pay for each other. We trust each other, but there is no need knowing each others pin codes? Taking cash from credit card is a big no no for both of us, if it can be avoided (although we had to in NZ, as the neither of debit cards with A&L would let us to take out any!!!).

There are no secrets about where money go, as all transactions are downloaded to money management software, so we can track our spending and budget.

To OP- I too would be concerned about credit rating - check it, please! If there are defaults, it will affect you for next few years, and I would it leave it quietly. Also, as it is cash withdrawal, interest rates will be crazy, make sure tht when he repays, he pays all the interest dates up to the day money is paid in, not on the last statement....

GPedro

ginvzt wrote: »

We have a joint account and he is welcome to use it. He has his own current account and credit card, and so do I. If we need money, we just transfer to each other or we pay for each other. We trust each other, but there is no need knowing each others pin codes? Taking cash from credit card is a big no no for both of us, if it can be avoided (although we had to in NZ, as the neither of debit cards with A&L would let us to take out any!!!).

There are no secrets about where money go, as all transactions are downloaded to money management software, so we can track our spending and budget.

That's all fair enough, and generally how we work things too - there is only very occasionally a need for either of us to use the others card. I just got the impression from your previous post that you intentionally kept your PINs secret from your OH - apologies if I got the wrong end of the stick.

ginvzt

GPedro wrote: »

That's all fair enough, and generally how we work things too - there is only very occasionally a need for either of us to use the others card. I just got the impression from your previous post that you intentionally kept your PINs secret from your OH - apologies if I got the wrong end of the stick.

No worry - different people, different opinions, and sometimes written things sound differently to when said aloud. I hope OP sorts this out and I would not be able to trust the said boyfriend - not only he took her money without asking, but then kept it secret for a few months and hid letters away!!!! So, I assume, he also opened them?

Did he give the letters back by now?

PS - Did MSE turned clocks back, as my clocks at home show 9:52, but MSe posts say I posted 8:50!!!!