MIL - expects us to pay for everything

Zazen999

Just don't buy the booze at all and don't go out for meals.

Someone's got to put their foot down about the drunken babysitting as well.....it may as well be you.

liney

If she's apparently drunk after 4 or 5 bottle of beer over the course of your evening out, so 4 hours ish? Are you sure she's not drinking during the day and turning up half cut?

4 bottles is only 2 pints, so ever a few hours really should have little effect. No more then my husband and i sharing a bottle of wine of an evening when DS is asleep.

ailuro2

but she's drinking Stella - the police up here call it 'wifebeater' because it's so strong!! Blokes have a few when it's on special offer, get drunk too quick then it all ends in tears.:eek:

I'd buy a 4 pack of Stella, and abstain from drinking while she's there.

Tell her you feelbetter for keeping within the government guidelines and you want to be there while your child grows up - and that you are setting a good example to your child in the process by drinking in reasonable amounts, not bingeing etc.

OK, so it might sound a bit OTT, but it's hard for her to argue against it when it's her grandchild. And if she doesn't like it she can go down the offy herself and pay for her own bevvy!!:rotfl:

RoxieW

Dont leave her to baby sit your child. it's completely unsafe and should anything happen you'd never forgive yourself.
With regards to the beer just tell her that you're abit skint this month so have bought a couple of 4 packs to last the weekend rather then a 24 pack. Easy

xmaslolly76

I'm with the others on this on this one dont buy her beer and certainly dont let her babysit your 5 yr old whilst she is drinking and getting in such a state. It one thing to enjoy one drink whilst relaxing it is another to be passed out with a 5yr old in the house. Sounds like it is time to put your foot down! :-)

Money_maker

I'd just ditch the beer full stop.

Leave out plenty of tea/coffee. She could always join you for a drink later when you get home.

No way I would allow someone babysitting my lot to be drinking.

paddy's_mum

I'm quite sure you're not going to like what I say but ... I survived a devastating house fire and that terrifying experience has coloured all my thinking.

You and your wife, as the presumably loving, adult, responsible parents of this child, need your heads banging together and some sense kicked into you, via your backsides if need be!! What social event is so pressing and vital that you cannot miss it? Ye gods - not once but twice you have come home to find your babysitting MIL out cold on the sofa and yet the only argument you have apparently presented is that she is eating/drinking you out of house and home.

Shame on you both for being so polite, or weak, or feeble, or non-antagonistic that you shy away from calling a spade a spade. You should both have been so horrified at her alcoholic stupor that the resulting row between your m-i-l and you and your wife might have taken years to get over. Get your act together (please, I beg you) before tragedy intervenes and you get called home to find neither house, child or mother-in-law still in existence.

If you think I'm being harsh or alarmist, you have only to keep an eye on the newspapers for the next week or two and see just how often fire kills people - and then ask yourself if you owe this utterly stupid, grasping, disloyal and grossly irresponsible grandmother anything at all .. other than a massive boot up the bustle!

I might add that I like a glass of wine or two, or three, along with the best of them but what you are describing is close to cruelty and you surely need to be shocked into looking at the situation with more clarity, and then deal with it! Good luck.

EmmaLi

I too am concerned about the fact that she's got so drunk when supposedly looking after your child that she's incapable. May I suggest either a babysitting agency - it's more expensive but all the sitters are professional childcare workers and are CRB checked, plus you are pretty much guaranteed to get one, or contact your local college that offers childcare courses and see if any of their students are interested in earning some extra money - they too will be CRB checked and should be reliable.

melancholly

the problem isn't the not paying, it's that you facilitate her drinking habit andask her to do favours for you for babysitting when she's shown herself not to be capable. if she does babysit (and 20 miles is a fair way to come) then a few meals isn't a lot to pay (and as others have said, you chose to go out a lot over that weekend). if you leave her access to alcohol or buy her drinks when she clearly can't manage to stop drinking, you need to take responsibility. this sounds like a wider problem in your relationship with her with her than paying for drinks....

[Deleted User]

Errata wrote: »

Reading through the OP's posts, it looks like MIL has a significant drink problem. More fool him for leaving his 5 year old with someone like that. Hope his fire insurance is up to date and he's got his story ready for social services.

Never long on this board before somebody has a go or gets abusive, is it?:rolleyes: