MIL - expects us to pay for everything

[Deleted User]

Paparika wrote: »

buy a crate of own brand beer and if she complains tell her that's all you can afford, if she doesn't like that tough.

drop the meals out, cook at home instead.

ok if she was veggie and you had to buy food in especially for her dietary needs i understand, but beer isn't a diet (although a few men may argue with that :rotfl:)

The thing is when shes at home, although she doesnt drink so much she buys the cheap stuff !!!

Errata

Do you give her a treat or some money for babysitting ? If you don't, maybe she thinks being treated to a few meals is fair recompense for babysitting.
If you don't want her to drink you out of house and home, don't keep any beer in and tell her you're on a healthy living kick.

Any

[quote=[Deleted User];24763655]The thing is when shes at home, although she doesnt drink so much she buys the cheap stuff !!![/QUOTE]

So why does she refuses to drink it in your house?
How did she actually express the wish to get the more expensive stuff?

maggied_2

How does your wife feel about it? To be honest I don't expect house guests to pay for anything when they stay (although my friends and family would always offer so we can have a good old Mrs Doyle style "put your money away" argument:D).

I would agree with the above - you don't *have* to buy her beer or take her out for meals - a shorter stay may make things a little easier. Or organise outdoor activities that don't involve drinking or spending money - do you have parks / museums / lakes you could go to?

If it's only now and then and you're getting some babysitting from her too I would probably suck it up and try to drive down the cost of having her over.

You only get one mum and you'll no doubt all miss her when she's gone. And you never know, all the money she's saving by visiting you might end up coming your way in the future anyway :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:(I really am joking about that!)

[Deleted User]

Any wrote: »

I completely agree.

If you come out straight, then she will resent you as she is obviously lonely and I think that is why she spends so much time at your house.

So you cannot come out straight and that is why I would make such a plans as for you to be able to mention financial situation few times (just like suggested - buy cheap beer etc) and hopefully she will be embarrassed to request anything costly ever again or offers to pay few times.

She seems to suffer from selective deafness !!!! LOL.

[Deleted User]

Pee wrote: »

To be fair, it's probably easier to look after your son in his own house as he knows where all his toys are and there is no danger of an expensive carpet getting spoilt!

Is she generally quite a nice person?

Does your wife feel it is her duty to look after her?

This is true but I think the main reason is shes a bit obsessed with cleanliness in her house and doesnt want it messed up.

Shes OK I must admit most of the time but she does have her moments !!!

Wife does also get a bit annoyed at the way she expects us to pay...

carolinosourus

Does she have a drinking problem? Has she always drunk/drank this much or is it just since your FIL died?

[Deleted User]

Any wrote: »

I think she might think that the beer and meals are repayment for this babysitting.

Shes not the worlds best babysitter. Sometimes its hassle to get her to do it !!!!

Also, I think her hourly rate for babysitting is almost in triple figures the way shes going !!!

[Deleted User]

Any wrote: »

So why does she refuses to drink it in your house?
How did she actually express the wish to get the more expensive stuff?

She just comes out straight and says dont buy the cheap stuff I dont like it !!!

[Deleted User]

maggied wrote: »

How does your wife feel about it? To be honest I don't expect house guests to pay for anything when they stay (although my friends and family would always offer so we can have a good old Mrs Doyle style "put your money away" argument:D).

I would agree with the above - you don't *have* to buy her beer or take her out for meals - a shorter stay may make things a little easier. Or organise outdoor activities that don't involve drinking or spending money - do you have parks / museums / lakes you could go to?

If it's only now and then and you're getting some babysitting from her too I would probably suck it up and try to drive down the cost of having her over.

You only get one mum and you'll no doubt all miss her when she's gone. And you never know, all the money she's saving by visiting you might end up coming your way in the future anyway :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:(I really am joking about that!)

Wife does get annoyed with her too. Its not just me...

To be honest, if she even offered it'd be 100x better. I'd probably be OK with it.

It mostly annoys me because she EXPECTS it. You dont have the option.

Also, with the beer thing, its polite to offer guests a drink - no problem with that. However, I do take exception to being told that I've got buy a specific thing and then her doing her best to drink the lot !!!!

Also, like I said, once or twice, we've come home and shes been passed out of the settee. And then unable to stand up because shes drunk so much.

Thats not cool when looking after a 5-yr old....