Bad husband!

frugallass

Jak, I just wanted to offer my sympathies - we can all speculate about whether he did or didn't, only he knows the truth.

Take care of yourself x

smartpicture

Maybe some new fathers are entitled to feel neglected, I've got no problem with that - but how is that an excuse for getting inolved with someone else? There's plenty of other ways of dealing with feeling neglected.

To the OP, much depends on where he's coming from now - is he genuinely sorry, is he genuinely trying to help & support you through this, is he genuinely wanting to make it work even if that means him putting in the necessary effort for now, is he genuinely doing whatever it takes to put things back on track after his selfishness? Because those are the fundamental initial steps before you can even consider whether your relationship has a future. Please, please don't get ino a situation where it's about you begging him to come back, or you making all the efforts to put things right, because you will end up depsising yourself.

MrCarrot

jak wrote: »

I just found out hes been seeing someone else. Thanks for all the words of support. I am in shock I think. I never for 1 instant thought hed do that to me. Im so sad.
Im not making any decisions now but to be honest, its not looking good for us.
I cant belive it. I really cant. He said he never slept with her! But he still spent 2 nights with her. Oh God...

I'm assuming the 2 nights he spent with her, he lied about where he was. So who knows what the truth really is?

I am sorry but he cares about himself and not about you. I know it doesn't make you feel any better, but it happens all the time. My advice would be a leopard never changes its spots, and to move on. It will seem like the hardest thing in the world to do, but in years to come you'll look back and realise it was one of the best decisions in your life.

Good luck

Gingham_Ribbon

taxi97w wrote: »

And the women we are talking about are also partners and they should understand that their men folk need attention too.

Of course they need attention. So do their wives.

I'm sorry you're going through this, jak. I can't imagine how he could put you through worry like that. I hope you're okay and that things improve soon, for you and your little one. Keep strong. x

Sarah_Joanne

Personally I feel that if a man can't understand that he will get less attention form his wofe once their baby is born he shouldn't have gotten her pregnant in the first place. Obviously the dynamic of the relationship will chnage, it's not just the 2 of you any more, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing! Plenty of people have children and are happier than ever.

If this were me and my husband went out and spent 2 nights witha woman he would not be welcome back to me. No way. There's just no excuse for that.

I hope the OP manages to sort out what she wants, and what her husband wants, as it may be that he wants to leave and the OP will ahve no choice but to accept the end of their relationship.

Firstly though, I think you need to talk to each other.

Sorry this probably hasn't been much help but I hope you get over this and have a happy life with your son (and a man who will treat you as you deserve to be treated)

consultant31

taxi97w wrote: »

Some men feel neglected when a new baby is given all the attention.

Then they should throw themselves into being a fantastic Dad and supportive husband.

There's no excuse for a male adult (can't bring myself to call him a man) to behave like this.

Buddingblonde

consultant31 wrote: »

Then they should throw themselves into being a fantastic Dad and supportive husband.

There's no excuse for a male adult (can't bring myself to call him a man) to behave like this.

Hear hear!

System

jak wrote: »

I just found out hes been seeing someone else. Thanks for all the words of support. I am in shock I think. I never for 1 instant thought hed do that to me. Im so sad.
Im not making any decisions now but to be honest, its not looking good for us.
I cant belive it. I really cant. He said he never slept with her! But he still spent 2 nights with her. Oh God...

I'm so sorry you've found out this, i can only imagine its the hardest thing to hear

He's lied to you and that's obviously something you need to talk about. maybe an idea would be to have a break just to clear your head and think this through?

*big hugs*

mumhug

How awful for you hunny i really hope you can find the strength to realise you are better off without him xxxxx

pretzelnut

jak wrote: »

He says he fell asleep in a night club and they left him there!!! He knows the guy that owns it but still- is that really believable?!!!!

It is true my brother does it all the time.

Only just read your next post.

I dont reallt have any advice, i arent and never have been in your situation.

But i do know that is my DF ever did that to me he'd be straight out the door. If he can lie and cheat once he'll do it again. There is no excuse for it.