Bad husband!

jak

My husband has stayed out 2 nights in the last 2 weeks. I think my marriage is over. I dont know what to do. We have a son, he's 1 year old. My husband says there is no-one else but admits to 'slow dancing' with a girl in a night club the last time he stayed out. Im shocked. But he stayed out that night with no phone call and didnt call me till 12.30 the next day. I had reported him missing to the police by then. He says he fell asleep in a night club and they left him there!!! He knows the guy that owns it but still- is that really believable?!!!!
I just wanted some advice. I dont know what to do. Ive asked my husband to stay at a friends for a couple of days till I figure out what to do- I still dont think ive got the full story tho!
Thanks for any advice, I feel so so sad.
J
X

lindysparkles

Hey hunni,

Couldn't read n run. I left my husband last year because he didnt make me happy and was unwilling to try. We didnt have any children so it was a bit easier for me but You really need to sit down and talk about whats going on. For a start he needs to treat you with respect and let you no if he's not coming home, very childish. You need to do whats best for you and your son, if your husband is not willing to talk or even try and make things work he not worth it, harsh I no but you deserve to be treated like a princess and your son like a prince. Do not let your husband walk all over you.
Good luck, big hugs, take care

Lindy

xxxx

sabretoothtigger

He says he fell asleep in a night club and they left him there!!! He knows the guy that owns it but still- is that really believable?!!!!

For the record, I did that once. I woke up later and had to let myself out believe it or not.

sounds like you still have plenty reason to be upset, at best he is a bad drunk I guess

kimmoss88

I think Lindy said pretty much what I was thinking. Just wanted to give you a virtual hug.

Is it possible he's going through some sort of (maybe early) mid life crisis? Maybe he feels old because he has a son, and is trying to reclaim his youth.

Don't get walked all over, but at the same time keep your cool. For all you know, he's telling the truth, like the above poster said, he might just be a a bad drunk!

jak

I just found out hes been seeing someone else. Thanks for all the words of support. I am in shock I think. I never for 1 instant thought hed do that to me. Im so sad.
Im not making any decisions now but to be honest, its not looking good for us.
I cant belive it. I really cant. He said he never slept with her! But he still spent 2 nights with her. Oh God...

hbloomers

Poor hun *virtual hugs*

I don't think whether or not he slept with her is the most important thing (though, of course it will make a difference to your decision), its the breach of trust.

If it were me, I'd give myself a few days to cool off and think about what I want. Him out of the house, maybe see if one of the grandparents can look after the baby for a few hours? You don't have to tell them what happened, maybe just say that you aren't feeling the best and need a bit of time for a good kip or something?

honesty101

Couldn't read and run, so sorry and virtual hugs too.The question is not whether he slept with her or not, its probably the deception of it all, the lies that come as a result of him trying to hide it.

mandi

jak wrote: »

I just found out hes been seeing someone else.
I cant belive it. I really cant. He said he never slept with her! But he still spent 2 nights with her. Oh God...

Where is he now Jak , who told you ? and if you believe for one second that he didnt have any physical contact with her your fooling yourself .
Im sorry I know that sounds really harsh , but sometimes virtual (( hugs )) are not the answer however comforting they might feel

You need to be strong Jak otherwise he will use your weakness & vulnerability to his advantage hunnie ..

Sorry again if I sound harsh

kimmoss88

What a dhead. I really don't know what to say, I'm not married, and haven't been in a situation like this.

However, PLEASE don't think it's your fault jak. He is obviously emotionally stunted, and is not mature enough for an adult relationship. He obviously doesn't deserve you.

I agree with mandi that you need to keep strong. Don't let him see that he's got to you.

thecableguy12

i feel so sad for you he is married has a child and does that to you, and the poor kid, i am a man and i do like a drink and sometimes come home late but its not excessive, he needs to grow up and relise what he has got or maybe losing( virtual hug)

BritRael

kimmoss88 wrote: »

...However, PLEASE don't think it's your fault jak. He is obviously emotionally stunted, and is not mature enough for an adult relationship. He obviously doesn't deserve you.....

I can see where you're coming from. However, people (male or female - mature or otherwise) have been having affairs since we've been on the planet and will continue. 'Maturity' is not the problem. There are many possible factors, and only the couple can discuss it and decide about the future.
Remember Bill Clinton? That relationship (which was played out in front of all of us), and many others survive and are stronger for it. Of course, also for many, it is the catalyst for a break up. The OP will not be able to make that decision for a while yet. She is obviously feeling a whole range of emotions (rage, despair, fear, betrayal etc.) at the moment and it will take some time to take it all in and think clearly.
I wish you both and your beautiful baby the best of luck for the future.