Bad husband!

Jet

It's the betrayal and the lies which, in my opinion, are the worst things. Whether he has or hasn't slept with her almost becomes irrelevant because he chose to be with her rather than with OP and lied to her.

I hope you can work this out one way or the other and come to the best decision for you.

Any

Jet wrote: »

It's the betrayal and the lies which, in my opinion, are the worst things. Whether he has or hasn't slept with her almost becomes irrelevant because he chose to be with her rather than with OP and lied to her.

I hope you can work this out one way or the other and come to the best decision for you.

I absolutely agree with the above.

I don't think bringing Bill Clinton in here is the best example - I wouldn't call Clintons relationship strong, they are still together just for the career. I personally believe that Hilary is now emotionaly dead inside.

In real life if you give a man second chance to easily he will take you for ride. First he needs to make his mind up what he wants and fight for it.

Be strong and just keep telling yourself you don't need such a loser in your life.

Dave101t

if he can do that, while having a lovely wife and child, then he doesnt deserve your tears.

Mojisola

It would be the betrayal and the lies that would hurt me most, too, but don't react while your emotions are too high. What is the state of the relationship? Is it normally very good? Could this be a one-off reaction against being a father and having a wife who is now involved with a baby as well as a husband? Some immature men find it a very difficult transition to make.

Or were there cracks in the relationship before? Has he ever done anything like this in all the time you've known him?

Perhaps most important - how is he reacting now? Does he realise how hurtful his behaviour has been? What has he said about you giving him a second chance? Does he care that he may be separated from his son for most of week if you split up?

Only you can make the decision but don't throw away a marriage without at least thinking about whether you could both work through this.

KK22_2

Jet wrote: »

It's the betrayal and the lies which, in my opinion, are the worst things. Whether he has or hasn't slept with her almost becomes irrelevant because he chose to be with her rather than with OP and lied to her.

I hope you can work this out one way or the other and come to the best decision for you.

I 100% agree with the above, it was pretty much exactly what i was planning to say.

TotallyBroke

mandi wrote: »

and if you believe for one second that he didnt have any physical contact with her your fooling yourself .
Im sorry I know that sounds really harsh , but sometimes virtual (( hugs )) are not the answer however comforting they might feel

Not always true, I have shared a bed with a married man on many an occasion and can say that there has never been any physical contact at all.
I flatshared with a friend of his, he worked away from home and flatmate and I would have some excellent parties. Many a time with everyone crashing here, there and everywhere he would sleep in my bed with me. Together we would snore the night away.
I never knew his wife so had no idea if she knew or not. But that was his deal not mine.

My main point is that the OP will not be a fool if she believes nothing has happened. A purely platonic relationship can happen.

To OP I personally would not be kicking him out and letting him sleep elsewhere in case he does then take the relationship with the girl further. The excuse of being on a break will then materialise.

Although it is no excuse having a 1yo child can impact on any relationship. You need to find out from him, why he felt the need to go clubbing without you in the first place? And also what did she give him that night that he was missing from you? I don't just mean in a sexual way but was it just the conversation.

Good luck and I hope you can choose the best decision for you all

Pee

I'm hoping this works out ok for you. Either he will pull himself together and you can move on together - and yes, possibly stronger - or he won't and you will have to move on without him, but if you are pushed into that corner, that will be the best decision for you and believe me, you will be fine.

Is Relate or a similiar service an option?

taxi97w

Some men feel neglected when a new baby is given all the attention.

windswept

taxi97w wrote: »

Some men feel neglected when a new baby is given all the attention.

Only pathetic, inadequate men.

BritRael

Any wrote: »

...I don't think bringing Bill Clinton in here is the best example - I wouldn't call Clintons relationship strong, they are still together just for the career. I personally believe that Hilary is now emotionaly dead inside. ...Be strong and just keep telling yourself you don't need such a loser in your life.

It was simply an example to show that couples can work through anything if they chose to. :rolleyes:

Several comments, like yours highlighted above, are suggesting a break up which (although might be the final outcome) is not a foregone conclusion and is certainly not something to be done lightly or at this early stage.

As for the Clintons, all we do know for sure about them is that they are still together after a well-publicised affair. However, your observations are simply wild assumptions, which may or may not be correct.