HeavyHeart, EmptyPurse

HeavyHeart

Thanks again to everyone!

I am in the middle of TRYING to write down all my expenses (SOA?) and hopefully I can bring myself to type it all out here within the next couple of days. Sorry I didnt do it sooner

kathfisch

HeavyHeart wrote:

Thanks again to everyone!

I am in the middle of TRYING to write down all my expenses (SOA?) and hopefully I can bring myself to type it all out here within the next couple of days. Sorry I didnt do it sooner

Don't be sorry - its a huge thing to do, both practically and emotionally.

We'll be happy to look at it when its done but don't force yourself to do anything you're not up to

Catseyez

Wow! What a post! This had me gripped last night and I've been thinking about it all day! There are a few things I'm not entirely clear on though.

Firstly, in your initial post you stated that you 'have never been big spenders, don't drink don't smoke, go to the cinema/theatre occasionally' yet you later say 'that a lot of the spending we did was foolish and unnecessary'. You agreed to a £25k limit on you card and managed to spend it. Can I ask where the money went? I appreciate that you did use credit cards on some essentials, but what about the rest?

Also, I'm a little confused as to the situation with the house before Pete bought it. In an earlier post you said:

HeavyHeart wrote:

The story with the house: When Pete was a boy, his parents always owned the houses they lived in. But when Pete was 30, his father wanted to raise some money for something or other, and Pete bought the house. From that point on, Pete always owned the houses they lived in, and his parents lived with Pete.

...but later you said:

HeavyHeart wrote:

Pete's parents, in fact, did not start to buy that house, and in fact they put not one single penny towards it. Pete bought the house with his money, he took out a mortgage, and he let them live with him. He never asked them for a penny while he was living with them, because he didnt need to. He had one house, and therefore one mortgage.

So did he buy it from them or not?

If they never owned it, as your most recent post indicates, then how did they live before? You also implied in the later post, that his father didn't work. So how did they have an income? And what about now?

However, if they did own it as your earier post states it, then surely they have savings from the purchase? Or was that squandered?

If the case goes to court and you win, where will his parents go? Do they have a back-up or will it be in the hands of the state to?

You have two houses and the worst that can happen, is that you may have to sell one and rent for a while...do they have that option?

Please don't think that I'm condoning their behaviour, I think they're behaving appallingly. I'd just like to know more about their financial standing as well.

Good luck with it all!

HeavyHeart

We've never been huge spenders, on BIG things like cars etc, but we did take a lot of weekend breaks. Not expensive, but there were quite a few. And we shouldnt have done that. Also other things like a new fridge, and lots of things that looking back on, we didnt truly need.

As for the house - Let me clarify. They were all living in a house in Manchester, which Pete's parents owned. His father wanted to raise some money (not sure what for), so his father put the house on the Market.

Pete told his father that he himself would like to buy the house, so he applied for a mortgage which he got (from Alliance and Leicester I believe), and he bought the house from his parents at the full asking price.

About a year later, Pete decided that he wanted to move out of Manchester and into a more rural part of Cheshire. He bought a house, and said that his parents could live there with him. He paid for this second house in full, and his parents never once paid anything towards the upkeep or the mortgage (although his Mum did do the cooking and cleaning while Pete was at work, to be fair).

That was the house that caused the problems. The second one. His parents (mainly his Mum) believed that because they lived in that second house, they 'surely owned part of it'.

The first house, however, was originally owned by his parents, but Pete bought it - lock stock and barrell - at the full asking price.

I hope that clarifies. I wasnt too clear, I'm sorry

MrsTinks

Glad you popped back today to read and post as you can see a fair few of us were a tad worried about you

I think a good idea would be to sit dow with Pete when he gets back and write down your list of options ie 1) sell house 2) sell flat 3) bankrupcy etc etc and put dow the various issues with each one. The way I see it then if you DO manage to get the PILs out and sell the flat then by letting us here help you get things paid off in the right order etc then we could potentially be looking at getting the two of you virtually debt free before Pete retires by over paying on your loans and mortgage Imagine having no debts to worry abou when that time comes instead of "OMG i have £140k worth of debt!"

Look at it as a "We can do this! We can get debt free by that date!" Instead of a huge negative scenario If you can then maybe post the wording of the contract on here when you get a hold of it and if any of us can see a loop then take it to a solicitor who should be able to tell you if it's truely a loop or not (obviously I don't think many of us have legal training...).

If there is no holes then selling your house should pay off a lot of debt too and I think you would save a lot by moving nearer Pete's job both because you would be spending a LOT less on his travel and even though renting is more expensive then you are no longer paying off as many debts so this shouldn't be a huge problem

Keep popping in and updating us and tell Pete to cheer up too Have a Tuborg to celebrate that you have the MSE DFW gang on the case and things are looking up (just the one mind... No wasting money and whilst he's there tell him to have a danish hotdog with all the trimmings... us danes make the worlds best hotdogs!)

mattt44

One thing I would say actually, is if you can manage to move closer to Petes work (unless there is a reason to stay where you are, or its more expensive, or pete moves about with work) Petes journeys to work will be alot shorter, therefore he will be alot less stressed.

Thats alot of ifs, but the less travelling is a big thing I would say.

Tears from me last night tbh reading your post, hugs to you both.

HeavyHeart

Thanks thats very kind. I'm truly sorry, I didnt mean to make anyone upset. I dont really know for sure why I wrote what I did. I think I was in a real state.

And yes hopefully we can move closer to his office. It would also mean less train fares. At the moment, his annual train ticket is just over £2000.00, but thankfully he gets an interest free loan from his company to buy it. They deduct money each month to pay it back.

lynzpower

PLease dont do anything hasty in thinking about selling anywhere. I would be inclined to say, well, if you have to sell anything, sell the house they are living in. Im not being cruel here ( as many know I work for an older peoples social work team) as just because someone is old, it certainly doenst mean that they are vulnerable. Many of my clients are bloody hard work cantankerous and sometimes vicious individuals. As its thier right to be, just as it is for the rest of us working age people. Personally, if there is anyway for you guys to avoid bankrupcy ( given your ages, you are likely to want to have a home for you to retire into fairly soon?) TBH renting is a great short term option, but buying somewhere else later will be impossible if Pete only has 5 years working left if you see what I mean. Bankrupcy is meant to last 6 years.

Again I reiterate to you, do nothing until you have had a categorical answer that there is no way you can evict them ( from a judge if at all possible) . Yes, the state will house them, they shouldnt be intentionally homeless , no big deal in my opinion. however, they must have an income from somewhere to be paying the bills in cheshire? You have been picking up the tab for them to the expense of your emotional health and financial health, and Im glad your relationship is strong, and will be even stronger through this.

Lots of love across the ether
Lynz
xxx

Peppa_Pig_5

Hi Jen, I have just read through all the posts and am deeply moved. I do not have any advice to offer, but I hope you keep posting and let us know what you decide to do.

Big Hugs from me

Peppa
x

Chrismojam

:grouphug:

Thinking of you both......you will get through this and come out the other side smiling (I hope)....

Lots of love XXXX