HeavyHeart, EmptyPurse

Ali-OK

Hi Jen

Glad you're back on here today.

I'm sorry to go against the grain of so many of you, but I suspect that Jen and Pete may want a 'fair' solution, with as little as hassle as possible - one that gives them a life, where they can pay their way comfortably. Pete probably loves his parents still deep down, even after what his parents have done to them and he may not want to see them 'turfed out' through the bankruptcy route. Of course, I could be totally wrong. But emotional attachment (even after being treated like this) changes things and sometimes the quietest, least difficult route is attractive.

I appreciate in the cold light of day, anything to resolve the finances has to be done.

Snich

Hi,
I agree with the advice above to consult a lawyer and also to see your doctor and also to consider selling up to start anew. A SOA on here will also help us try to help with places to cut back.

I don't have any practical advice to offer of my own but I wanted to send you some warm hugs, best wishes and a cup of hot steaming virtual tea to show my support.

Hang in there. I promise things will get better - if only because you've found the incredibly supportive nerds on here.
Snich x

Glitterari

Big, huge, massive HUGS!

Really cannot offer any other advice than what has already been said so far.

Please keep posting, we will all keep supporting and helping as much as we can.

Love Carly xx

poppycracker

Glitterari wrote:

Big, huge, massive HUGS!

Really cannot offer any other advice than what has already been said so far.

Please keep posting, we will all keep supporting and helping as much as we can.

Love Carly xx

I second that!!!! ((((((((HUGS))))))))) Some of us (like me) may not be able to give you practical advice but we're all here to support you emotionally!

Anniek1969

Looking back on your posts you say that you have around £120,000 of equity in the flat they are living in so as I see it if you could sell that property you could almost pay off all of your debt.

It looks like you are struggling only to keep a roof over their heads which I think is really ridiculous. They seem to be very selfish and I think your only option is to seek legal advice about selling this property. Surely the deal you have with them living rent free is only for as long as you own the property. What would happen if you did end up bankrupt and the property would have to be sold anyway. You have been worrying about this and living like this far too long so it's about time you got rid of them and this debt and start to enjoy life again.

If the contract is water tight on their part then could you maybe sell your house and relocate nearer to his work so he doesn't have as much comuting to do and with the equity from your house you could pay off your debt and start over again. If you could do this then at least you will still have the other house as a nest egg for when Pete retires.

Even if you do sell your house and relocate I would still see a lawyer about getting out of the contract with your inlaws and then even if you don't put them out I would charge them rent, I think they've been living off you for far too long.

I know you will worry until this is sorted but try not to let it get to you too much as you must think about how all this may be affecting your health and your relationship. It sounds like you've got a really strong relationship and you will get through this. Hope you get some good legal advice, even try the CAB they usually have a legal clinic one day a week.

Best of luck, will be thinking about you.

lynzpower

i have been thinking about this while Ive been out this morning. I just cant really get my head around HOW this contract can remain legal, watertight and so forth. The more I think of it, the less convinced I am that the parents can get away with it.

As tenants, for example could you evict them for unreasonable behaviour (understatement of the year ) for example, or quite frankly, if there is no tenancy agreements they are squatters?

Whichever which way I think about this, I really cannot see how this would work. Say you werent in this debt etc. In 5 years time Pete retires. He no loinger has enough income to pay one, or even both mortgages? What happens then? Both the tenants who are paying nothing and the "landlord" ie pete have no income whatsoever in which to pay the mortgage, so da,n right, you lose the house. In whose interests is this?

I think, right now, its important to focus on this side of things, more than anything else. What if Pete ( like many other peoples) pension collappsed and it worth sod all? You see there are stacks of eventualities, all of them potential.

I wonder, if you went into the house and chucked all thier stuff out changed the locks and told them to flit off, WHO would enforce the contract that was signed? the police? I dont know really, just putting it out there for discussion, but if theres no one to enforce the contract, then its not one?

thinking of you xxxx

HeavyHeart

Thanks everyone, you're all very kind. I am going to get hold of a copy of the contract that we have with Pete's parents. Our bank manager let us use a safe deposit box for free, and it is in there and I wont be able to see it until Tuesday.

One of the things I have learned since my initial post last night is that when we (any of us) are in financial !!!!!!, sometimes we dont always think straight. We sometimes panic, and sometimes the situation is worthy of panic, and sometimes it isnt.

For example, because have have so much equity in our own property, there is nothing stopping us from selling our house and paying off the bills, and then renting somewhere (or buying somewhere really expensive).

However, no matter how many nights Pete and I have sat up all night in a blind panic, neither of us thought of that.

That is just one of the excellent things about this forum family, it seems to me. You can throw an immense problem out into the crowd, and one (or more) people very often comes up with a 'simple' solution. Not that these things are ever simple, but selling the house and renting somewhere just didnt occur to me.

Pete called me from Denmark a few moments ago, and I told him about the forum and what you had all kindly said to me, and once again he started to cry. Then I started to cry. But then we both started to laugh, and I think that laughing (for a change) is definitely a step in the right direction. Not just for me and Pete, but for all of us, if we can help each other do that.

On the downside, during my walk in the park with my neighbours son, I tripped on a piece of broken glass. The glass just made me slip, but I fell onto my knee and now my one pair of fairly presentable jeans have a big hole in the knee area (and my knee also has a hole in it).

It never rains but it pours

Thanks again to all.

nearlyrich

HeavyHeart wrote:

now my one pair of fairly presentable jeans have a big hole in the knee area (and my knee also has a hole in it).quote]

Hope you knee is OK, your jeans are now worth at least double because of the hole.

Pobby

Jen,just wanted to say that you 2 people sound really loverly.The last few posts have brought tears to a 5 foot 11,16 stone big ugly muther!!!!lol.

Really it does seem to be a good idea to sell up and clear those debts.The stress you are going through is JUST NOT WORTH IT.

I had probs some years ago and made myself unwell with it all.There is a way out for you and at least keep that in the back of your mind when the dark feelings start to overwhelm you.Please also try the suggestions that the good folks have posted.There is a solution to this.----xxxx

lynzpower

Pobby, you are not ugly, so we wont hear anymore of that thank you very much x