HeavyHeart, EmptyPurse

Little_Miss_Winner

Hi Jen,

I don't want to pry, I know you left a great job 10 years ago, one where you had been for 20 yrs, but I was wondering if you still have the same illness.

Do you feel that you would be able to take on any paid work in the near future, even part-time?

I know everyone keeps focusing on the p-i-laws and your flat, but for the moment until you seek legal advice over them, you need to post your soa (i know you are working on it - well done!), and I wonder if any of the bigger companys you are with would stop all interest.?

I think once you get an idea of what you owe, and to whom, then it should be come a little clearer to you.

You are in my thoughts and we are all here to help, if you don't feel like answering either any of mine, or anyone elses questions thats fine too xx

Love
& HUgs
pot

Caixta

I've just read through your thread, Jen, and I'm thinking "Crikey!" Thankyou for pouring out your heart. I know you will find a lot of support and practical suggestions form people on here.

Pete's parents remind me of my own mother. She had a very strong hold over my brother, who died last year in his thirties. He had a long-time fiancee but did not marry her as my mother would have viewed it as a betrayal. When he died, he had not made a will, and my mother was by default his next of kin. She finished up with his money and now wants to kick his fiancee out of the flat they owned together. She has a comfy bungalow all to herself but just thinks that my brother was born to serve her. The argument she hopes to use in court is that she was some kind of "dependent" of my brother's.

I am told that her argument will be pulled apart in court! I know your situation is different, but is it worth checking whether your P.I.L. have any such rights as dependents? My mother has had to give very detailed accounts - maybe Pete's parents would have to, too. Hopefully these would show that they are living a little too comfortably at your expense. Especially as questions would be asked about what happened to the proceeds of the home that Pete bought off them.

It sounds as though Pete's parents are abusing his loyalty and their position as his parents.

I am with you all the way, and look forward to hearing how you get on.

dottyanne

Hi Jen

What can I say to you that's not already been said by so many of the nice people on here? Nothing much but to add that you have my support and understanding - you're in such a difficult situation and everyone's situation is different but on here we ALL have the same goal - to be debt free.

It really does take over your life doesn't it? I've just read a really good book called The Money Secret by Rob Parsons which gives a real insight into what most of us on here are going through in real life, perhaps you could have a read of it too?.

If you want to PM me for any support etc. feel free - it would be lovely to hear from you, keep posting on here too - you'll be overwhelmed at how many people really care about you and are genuinely interested in helping you (including me!!)

hugs.......

dotty anne xx

twink

heavy heart, i am not often on here but have read everything and feel for you both, lots of love and hugs from me too. as caixta says what did petes parents do with the money they got from the sale of the house, surely they can afford to pay rent at least

moggins

Hi Jen

You poor devil, no one deserves to be treated like this, I have elderly parents too and 2 sisters but I am the only one that looks after them. I do loads for them but they show their gratitude and love in anyway they can, I find it completely incomprehensible that parents could behave like this.

I agree with the idea of selling your house and renting as a short term move, the stress of this cannot be helping your medical condition one bit. Moving closer to your DH's work would give you both a much needed breathing space to cut your stress, gather your strength and start fighting his parents. Then when you've got them out use the money from that house to start afresh.

You sound like a wonderfully committed couple - if you never have any more than that in your life then you are still a lot richer than some

stripeyfox

Wow. Jen, I'd like to say how moved I have been by your story. I can't really offer much in the way of advice but would like to add my name to the body of moral support being offerred by everyone here. You are clearly a remarkable person and I know that you will find the strength to get through this. I was going to the pub tonight but have been sat here gripped by this thread. However hopeless your situation seems, you have made a huge step by baring your soul on here.
I'd just like to say hang in there and keep us up to date. Anytime you log on there will be someone here with some words of support.
I know how scary it can be to confront the problem (I'm sure we all do). I went through a phase where I didn't open a letter for months as I didn't want to know how deep in the crap I was, but eventually, eventually I did and now I'm on the long road to paying it all back. It may well be a long way back for you but every journey starts with a single step and you (and pete) will get there.

Take care x x

BobProperty

It's a tribute to this forum that a post that started yesterday morning has 8 pages of replies.
It depends on the exact details of the agreement, but I consider it may be possible to sell their place and trade them down for a smaller property in the same area. Alternatively, as you own the property, I think you could sell it as a reversion, which is what I think some previous posters were thinking of. This is where you sell the property at a discount in return for being allowed to stay for the rest of your lifetime. In this case, you are not changing the agreement re their lifetime "tenancy" but you will receive say 75-80% of the market value. The value is calculated like an annuity, i.e. the older the "tenant" the nearer to market value you receive. The trade body of the firms that do this is SHIP http://www.ship-ltd.org/.
I'm not sure whether something has already been said but can you snowball these debts combined with some card switching/tarting and still get by?

make_life_easier

with you all the way. don't give up,keep up the fight for what rightly is yours. who in this world does'nt pay for their keep. they have had a good life at your expense.

i bet 110% of people are behind you .

when you feel a bit stronger just bite the bullet and make them pay up. lets face it when your in your 70 + what do you spend your money on??? ( most normal and decent parents sort out their sibbling anyway) don't mean to sound depremental but i hope when i am that age i will be spending as little as possible as i will probably forgot who is what and birthdays/christmas etc - what day is it?? - i do that now and i'm only 41 ah ah( but only trying to get out of debt so my son can have a secure future in later years.)

it's their loss not yours, stick to your guns and sit this one out in what ever possible way,you are being blackmailed.

i don't know how you have kept so calm about this for 10 years, i would of blown my top after 3 months never mind.

I have load's of patients but when it comes down to control - no thank you . i only deal with genuine good hearted people. ( it took me years to suss out who they where)

but it takes a strong relationship to come through thing like this( personal reasons)

love to you both

Andrea x

southernscouser

BobProperty wrote:

It's a tribute to this forum that a post that started yesterday morning has 8 pages of replies.

I couldn't agree with you more Bob. This board for me is the life and soul of this website. The support and advice received here still astounds me!

I've nominated this thread for 'thread of the month'!

If you haven't voted already be quick! Post number 131!

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=2073167#post2073167

Spendalot_2

However unfortunate a situation you have with the in-laws, I cant help feeling that you would be in this position regardless.

Consider the inlaws flat a pension investment. There is nothing that can be done.

You then need to do......a SOA to show what comes in and what goes out each month.