HeavyHeart, EmptyPurse

piglet6

Hi Jen :hello:

Not much to add of any use (have just read through today's posts...I haven't posted before now because I have been at work today - 14hr shift!!)...but I was thinking of you while I was at work today, and I am glad that you have told Pete about this forum - I hope that it can provide some support to both of you when he gets back.;)

You've had lots of good advice here, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that something that somebody has suggested comes good for you (many hands make light work...and I guess many heads come up with plenty of "possible" suggestions!!:think: ). Please keep posting, and keep us up to date with what is happening - there are so many people here who care about you (even more than you realise, because some will be reading and thinking about you without posting anything in reply) - and while it is a strange thing to think that people care about you when we don't "know" you, it really is true...we do care - and we want to know how your life is going and support you in whatever way we can...!!

Take care (and a big hug!:grouphug: ).

Piglet
x

piglet6

Spendalot wrote:

However unfortunate a situation you have with the in-laws, I cant help feeling that you would be in this position regardless.

Excuse me if I'm taking this the wrong way, Spendalot, but I feel that this is a bit harsh...?!?! No explanation...just an accusation?!

Piglet

tesuhoha

I too, keeping thinking about you and keep coming back to read this thread. I was trying to work out the psychology of it today, why two people would behave in such a way and all I could come up with (forgive me if you already know this), they have never forgiven Pete for getting married. There they were sponging off Pete, in his nice 5 bedroom house in the country, they probably thought that as he was in his forties, he would never get married and then you come along and everything changes. You said that you got along with them at first. They probably thought that everything was going to go on as before only with you living there as well, supporting them. Then you had the audacity to want a life of your own. This is all probably one big sulk to prove to Pete that he has done the wrong thing. This flat that they are living in, is probably not what they wanted at all, they wanted to go on living in the big house and having the easy life. Thats what I think anyway although its not of any use.

HeavyHeart

I'm really not sure how anyone could say that we would be in this position regardless. You dont know us. I know I havent had a chance yet to let you all know the exact amounts of our incomings and outgoings, but I promise that I am working on it. Slowly maybe, but I am doing my very best.

If we werent paying out around £600.00 a month for Pete's parents to live in that flat, and if we hadnt run up legal bills worth around £19,000 just to get to where we are today, we wouldnt be in this position.

We arent very materialistic at all. Yes we like the occasional treat (not that we have them nowadays) but I'm not dressed from head to toe in Prada or Dolce & Gabbana.

My Tesco credit card bill, as of today, is £19,491.27. It makes me truly ill to say that. I've used the card three times since I had it, and the three expenditures were legal fees to try to do something about Pete's parents and the situation in general. That legal process alone took over a year. Only to be basically told to not bother taking it further because we could well lose and then we'd be down another 20,000.

That expense wouldnt be on the credit card if this situation hadnt happened.

I dont know what it was I said that made us seem as if we would have run up these huge debts regardless but I will certainly re-read the whole thread and I'm sorry if I did give that impression.

Believe me, it would me much easier for me to sit here and declare to you all that our huge debts are because we went on a round the world cruise, followed by a spendathon in Harrods, and a couple of villas in Spain. The truth is much much different to that. Sure we were a little frivolous in some cases, but who isnt? Seriously, who isnt?

Good night, thanks again
Jen x

HeavyHeart

tesuhoha wrote:

I too, keeping thinking about you and keep coming back to read this thread. I was trying to work out the psychology of it today, why two people would behave in such a way and all I could come up with (forgive me if you already know this), they have never forgiven Pete for getting married. There they were sponging off Pete, in his nice 5 bedroom house in the country, they probably thought that as he was in his forties, he would never get married and then you come along and everything changes. You said that you got along with them at first. They probably thought that everything was going to go on as before only with you living there as well, supporting them. Then you had the audacity to want a life of your own. This is all probably one big sulk to prove to Pete that he has done the wrong thing. This flat that they are living in, is probably not what they wanted at all, they wanted to go on living in the big house and having the easy life. Thats what I think anyway although its not of any use.

I think you hit about 20 nails on the head there.

xx:T

southernscouser

HeavyHeart wrote:

I'm really not sure how anyone could say that we would be in this position regardless. You dont know us. I know I havent had a chance yet to let you all know the exact amounts of our incomings and outgoings, but I promise that I am working on it. Slowly maybe, but I am doing my very best.

If we werent paying out around £600.00 a month for Pete's parents to live in that flat, and if we hadnt run up legal bills worth around £19,000 just to get to where we are today, we wouldnt be in this position.

We arent very materialistic at all. Yes we like the occasional treat (not that we have them nowadays) but I'm not dressed from head to toe in Prada or Dolce & Gabbana.

My Tesco credit card bill, as of today, is £19,491.27. It makes me truly ill to say that. I've used the card three times since I had it, and the three expenditures were legal fees to try to do something about Pete's parents and the situation in general. That legal process alone took over a year. Only to be basically told to not bother taking it further because we could well lose and then we'd be down another 20,000.

That expense wouldnt be on the credit card if this situation hadnt happened.

I dont know what it was I said that made us seem as if we would have run up these huge debts regardless but I will certainly re-read the whole thread and I'm sorry if I did give that impression.

Believe me, it would me much easier for me to sit here and declare to you all that our huge debts are because we went on a round the world cruise, followed by a spendathon in Harrods, and a couple of villas in Spain. The truth is much much different to that. Sure we were a little frivolous in some cases, but who isnt? Seriously, who isnt?

Good night, thanks again
Jen x

Jen, please ignore one insensitive person. It's like a box of strawberries. All of them of gorgeous apart from one bad one that you have to throw away!

tesuhoha

I tell you what you could do to make some money; you could write a book about all this. Judging from the response on this thread, people would buy it. You seem to have a way with words and are able to tell a good story, I think it would sell. You'd have to put down a lot more of the gory details and of how much this has all cost you and how its ruined your life. I'm not joking and it would at least give you a project to work on.

southernscouser

tesuhoha wrote:

I tell you what you could do to make some money; you could write a book about all this. Judging from the response on this thread, people would buy it. You seem to have a way with words and are able to tell a good story, I think it would sell. You'd have to put down a lot more of the gory details and of how much this has all cost you and how its ruined your life. I'm not joking and it would at least give you a project to work on.

Of course we couldn't afford to buy it so you'd have to give us free copies!

kathfisch

HeavyHeart wrote:

I'm really not sure how anyone could say that we would be in this position regardless. You dont know us. I know I havent had a chance yet to let you all know the exact amounts of our incomings and outgoings, but I promise that I am working on it. Slowly maybe, but I am doing my very best.

If we werent paying out around £600.00 a month for Pete's parents to live in that flat, and if we hadnt run up legal bills worth around £19,000 just to get to where we are today, we wouldnt be in this position.

We arent very materialistic at all. Yes we like the occasional treat (not that we have them nowadays) but I'm not dressed from head to toe in Prada or Dolce & Gabbana.

My Tesco credit card bill, as of today, is £19,491.27. It makes me truly ill to say that. I've used the card three times since I had it, and the three expenditures were legal fees to try to do something about Pete's parents and the situation in general. That legal process alone took over a year. Only to be basically told to not bother taking it further because we could well lose and then we'd be down another 20,000.

That expense wouldnt be on the credit card if this situation hadnt happened.

I dont know what it was I said that made us seem as if we would have run up these huge debts regardless but I will certainly re-read the whole thread and I'm sorry if I did give that impression.

Believe me, it would me much easier for me to sit here and declare to you all that our huge debts are because we went on a round the world cruise, followed by a spendathon in Harrods, and a couple of villas in Spain. The truth is much much different to that. Sure we were a little frivolous in some cases, but who isnt? Seriously, who isnt?

Good night, thanks again
Jen x

Jen, you have absolutely nothing to be apologetic for! You don't owe anyone here any more explanation than you're happy with - you certainly don't need to justify anything to us!

I don't understand the comment about you being in this situation regardless - perhaps Spendalot will explain that comment further, perhaps not, but don't think on it a moment more.

So no more of this apologising lark, ok!

Your debt (such as solicitors fees) seems entirely understandable. And so what if you had spent it on foreign holidays, we're not here to judge. We're here to support you and pride ourselves (by which I mean the board) on being non-judgemental.

There are many people on here with fantastic amounts of advice and support to give but the best thing is - you can take it or leave it. We're throwing comments and ideas into the ring and you can ignore the ones who have missed the point, misunderstood, or whose suggestion doesn't suit you.

So, again, you don't have to justify anything to us

Take care

Kath x

tesuhoha

Signed copies so we could sell them on ebay for loads of money!