MSE Parents Club Part 5

newmoneysaver_2

Ooh Tara - that's very sneaky, I like we wanted no fuss so bu99ered off to St Lucia!!! :rotfl:
Weezl- Hugs to both you and furgus!
Congrats to Beccle's Charlotte and well done Erin :T

ETA: Hugs to SM too!

SusanC_2

weezl74 wrote: »

oooh intrigued! why and why not a doula if you don't mind sharing your thinking?

An independent midwife would be employed directly by me (the customer) whereas an NHS midwife is emplyed by the NHS trust and is answerable to them (and trust policy). This means they are less likely to completely ignore what I have told them. An independent midwife is likely to be more willing to do things differently rather than have a standard way of doing things as one of the reasons a midwife chooses to be independent is in order to give women the choices they want rather than following set protocols. An independent midwife also has more time for you at antenatal appointments and are likely to be better informed and better able to explain their reasons for things (as opposed to just saying, "It's trust policy.") I feel that overall the service provided by the NHS is limited (which is an inevitability of the system really) and not the greatest quality and it is worth paying the extra money to get something better. (I guess it's a bit like how sometimes people have a piece of dental work done privately because they can't get what they want done on the NHS or the dentist wouldn't have time to do such a god job on the NHS.)

Having an NHS homebirth with a doula would be my second choice option.

(And hospital birth with a doula my third.)

MrsTine wrote: »

I don't know about others but given that Alex's arrival wasn't straight forward I'm even more against home births now than I was before Maybe I'd feel different if we were closer to the hospital here and if my first birth had been trouble free - as it is then next time I know a lot more and will be a LOT more assertive about being admitted and given a MW earlier than I was this time! And I probably got one a lot earlier than most people as it was but the pain was just so bad! Maybe the fact that gas and air and any of the other painkillers they gave me had no effect is clouding my judgement? Or the fact Alex was in distress in the final stage of labour? I know I could never live with myself if anything happened to my baby because I'd decided to have a home birth

As I say - my circumstances probably have clouded my judgement though... I just figure that we have a lot of medical expertise in one place and I have every intention of using it if I have another baby!

As long as you are low risk, statistically planed homebirth is just as safe as hospital birth but that does not mean it is the best option for everyone. We actually live close enough to the hospital that an emergency caesarian would not be delayed because of me being at home (although actually 50% of emergency caesarians happen more than 30mins after the decision is taken and outcomes are no worse for them than the pre-30minute ones). I am dubious about the medical "expertise" at my hospital given that for example I was forced to give birth on my back against my clearly expressed view at the time despite the fact that research overwhelmingly proves that this is the worst position to give birth in and it is against the NICE guidelines. My supposedly natural third stage did not fit the definition of a natural third stage according to NICE guidelines either. Also (after I had an epidural and was put on continuous monitoring), on the odd occasions the midwife graced us with her presence she ALWAYS turned the fetal heart monitor down even though I kept turning it back up. (You'll see why I kept turning it up in the next paragraph.)

When my youngest brothers were born, they had to be born in a consultant led unit because of being twins as supposedly they were better and could deal with the potential complications. The doctors didn't look at the scans so didn't believe my mum that one of them was breech (there's only 25% chance of neither being breech). They also turned down the fetal heart monitor which resulted in my brother having a heartrate below 60 for an indeterminate amount of time before they noticed (a baby with a heartrate below 60 is considered to be dead). This meant it was an emergency for him to be born but the birth was delayed while they went to find a doctor because they suddenly discovered that actually he was breech after all. It didn't take a huge amount of reading up about birth for me to work out that it must have been cord prolapse. Hmm now what things are risk factors for cord prolapse... multiparity, multiple birth, small babies, breech babies and early babies. (There are other risk factors but offhand those are the ones that apply.) So you'd think given the risk factors and the fact that they were supposed to be specialists that they would be aware of this kind of thing and keep a particular eye out but no, they didn't. His brain was damaged due to the lack of oxygen but they lied and told my mum he was okay.

So while I do accept that in some instances being in hospital can be lifesaving, this is not always true.

elle_gee wrote: »

Oh, speaking of purees, I asked the nurse today re weaning a premie. She said they used to do it 26wks plus half their prematurity so it'd be weaning at 30.5wks from his actual birth date for Rhys but now they just go a straight 26wks from actual birth date... So we might manage to be on a wide enough diet to have Christmas dinner at Christmas

Alice played with sprouts and goose for her first Christmas dinner.

tarajayne

weezl74 wrote: »

Tara that's great :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Oh I'd love to see their expressions!

My best friend knows what's happening and has promised her OH will film it all for me!

searching_me

weezl74 wrote: »

awww you're all lovely

I just feel very angry with myself, but it's how we learn I guess (me, I mean!) and I'm so glad it doesn't seem to be serious.

searching on your facebook, I always think- 'oh she's very attractive!' so I'm sorry you feel otherwise

dont be angry with yourself ive spent more time in the hospital or gp because zoes gone and done something to herself ... shes been glued and stiched and nearly knocked out more times then i can count .. i have a very clumsy child ...

thank you im generally happy about myself and im over the moon mister is only 13 weeks (today ) and i only have alittle before im back to my pregnancy weight but i do have my moment where i go back to feeling like to the awkward fat teenager i was and today was one of them ... the style out at the mo is girlie and skinny ... none of which i am ... i just when i go out be the chubby mummy in the corner that everyones taking the mick out of ........ can you tell i was bullied :undecided ........ as i say i'll be fine tomorrow just moments you know ...

oh forgot to say early tara no need to hide in the bathroom and cry i bet you're as pretty as a picture x

searching_me

sounds great tara never been one for fuss either ... kodak moment me thinks x

MrsTinks

Problem with the "low risk" thing to me is I was 100% low risk as far as they were concerned - there was nothing to indicate there would be a problem at any point in my delivery. Not until the last stage was it found that madam was slightly rotated (hence the excrutiating pain! I wasn't just being a wuss!) and to be honest I don't know why she was in distress but she was... so was whipped out of there...
I just think that I could deal with if something happened in hospital where I would be close to medical help if needed - but the speed they had to get Alex out with (probably 5-10 mins from they pressed the emergency button till she was flopped on me!) means to me that the risk even with a seemingly normal and low risk mum is just too big... It's obviously horses for courses but I just don't understand being willing to take the risk with a babys life? So much COULD go wrong... Why not be in a hospital where you can scream for more help if you need it (and in my case boy did I scream when delivering LOL)

tarajayne

It's like you say SM, silly moments. We all seem to be having them and I bet the end of summer blues has something to do with it!

SusanC_2

weezl74 wrote: »

Non-crawling/rolling fergie figured it out and nosedived onto hard tiled kitchen floor from 1 metre height while I turned away to bin the nappy.

:eek: :grouphug:

And :grouphug: to searching_me too.

searching_me

tara i call it eating so much ice cream, cake, chocolate and everything pregnant and cant shift it after blues x

workinmummy

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Welcome WM, my memory is fuzzy are you local to me?
(wigan)

Hi Sami, yes Wigan. And i was very impressed with RAEI, despite the bad reviews i have heard. Midwives were excellent.