MSE Parents Club Part 5

SeptemberBaby_2

Lots of hugs, Bruno xx

I remember the first few weeks with Poppy I though she must be really doing these things just to wind me up before I realised she is so tiny and doesn't know how to wind people up!

Hope OH does decides to accept some help sooner rather than later but its obviously hard for her to accept she needs it.

xx

searching_me

cant get to the asda here either ... sigh ... x

ManOnTheMoon

Firstly, thanks to all those that gave best wishes to the twins for their 9th and my 16yo for her GCSE's - 5 A*, 3 A's and 3 B's. She's delighted, i'm proud.

Along with her 8/12 hours a week in the shop, she is going to do Psychology and Sociology for 6 hours a week. After getting her GCSE's, she realised she wanted to build on that. She appreciates their will be homework, but she will still have more spare time and more money than when schooling, and after a heart to heart, she doesn't want to just accept what she has, but make more use of it and build on it for the future.

Anyway, she's happy and i'm happy, even if I feel a bit sick after all the food consumed yesterday :rotfl:

One final point, and I haven't read all 200 pages since I last came on, Bruno - Every situation is different and i'm not saying you're OH will end up like my two ex partners, but they did similar to yours (and alot more) and in the end they ended up hating the kids and me and walked off into the sunset never to be seen again. I repeat, it will unlikely come to that as my two ex's done alot of other things as well, and i'm assuming, rightly or wrongly, that your OH is not.

My point is, something needs to be done now. Take the advice of the ladies and any gents on here and sit down and decide what you can do. I would offer advice, but considering both mine walked out on us, i'm probably the last person to give advice, but the only real advice I can give, is not to let it run as it is now.

Please take the advice of others on here and think about what you can do, as a partner and a father and together as a partnership with your OH.

Sorry if that's not helpful, i'm not a great advisor.

BrunoM

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Bruno ((HUGS)) again!

Is it realistic to just forget about a set naptime for a while and try and get him to stay awake for as long as he wants to? If naptime is always a fight maybe it is just not the right time for him?

My boy is rubbing his eyes, I had better go and sort him out.

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Bruno - it just occurred to me. Benjamin sleeps on the sofa during the day, either that or in our bed. He just doesn't seem to want to go down in his cot and I don't want him to associate his cot with negative things which could jeopardise his sleeping at night.

It means that I have to be quiet, I have to watch him and I can't get many chores done (bummer!!) but he does go off well and we are both happy. I just put him on a blanket on the end of the sofa and sit with him (ignoring him!) until he drops off.

Would relaxing the whole process be a possibility?

Thanks x2!
I think OH is desperate for there to be routine and predictability for her sanity's sake, but I'll discuss trying to step back and "see what happens" with her.

He is waay too wriggly and agile to simply put on the sofa while awake and watch him, but it might be worth an attempt to just feed him into a doze then lie him down right there. Disadvantages as you outlined, but if it worked it would be worth it. I doubt it will work as he is such a fragile sleeper, but you never know!

ladybirdintheuk

So we have polar oposites here then. Babies who do nothing but sleep, and babies who are fighting it tooth and nail! I'm afraid we have been in the latter cattegory for the past few days, but she has managed a big poo, which may have been the problem, so hopefuly she will sleep this afternoon.

The allotment is still there, I watered and I've picked enough beans to feed a small army. Then I got drenched on the way home. I did have my raincoat on, but forgot the rain cover, so had to wrap Izzy up in my coat. Well... forgot isn't the right word - it was a lovely sunny day when we left, so I didn't think we needed it.

Bruno - hugs again for you all, you are having a right old time of it I'm racking my brain trying to think of any more helpful ideas. Talking to you OH when she is a bit calmer would be a good idea though. it might be worth limiting the subject of "getting help" to times when she is calm, rather than talking about it when she is stressed? Can you agree to be there when HV comes? Or be there when HV arrives, but then leave them to it? Can you send OH off for a massage and some pampering (or just to get her hair done or something?) every so often. Make sure you take some "you" time as well. It is a demanding situation you are in there!

searching_me

WOW well done for your DD MOTM ... that is fantastic :D:D:D:D x

Sami_Bee

elle_gee wrote: »

Morning all..
Righty, best get the rugrat dressed.. OH's mate coming for tea tonight - not exactly sure what they're 17mth old is going to do all evening! Hopefully not trash my house! :rolleyes: (apparently he's eating before they leave home.. OH has forbidden me to ask what he has had for tea! )
TTFN xx

if he'll be sitting at the table with all of you (which is a good idea IMO) give him a bit of fruit to [STRIKE]fling round[/STRIKE] eat it should keep him occupied and maybe get some vitamins into the poor thing

BrunoM wrote: »

Not quite sure what my next steps are; probably some time off work...

can you take a weeks holiday? look at it in a supernanny way, observe for a few days and then come up with strategies and help implement them?
all the other things I was going to say MFD beat me to I want to ask mrs B why must he nap at that time? If he's not tired he's not tired and trying to make him sleep will just pee him off:o

Buttonmoons wrote: »

It's blowing a gale outside, and I have to nip out and get milk....

I managed a peek at Keira's finger last night, she wouldn't let me go near and the plaster needed changed so did it when she was asleep, it looks so gross. Big bit of her skin is hanging off, and drying out, won't be lasting damage though as it's just a layer of skin and not deep, a little cut under her nail too but no signs of bruising on the actual nail thankfully. Hopefully in a few more days that dead skin will fall off....does look really nasty.

I remember at primary school, there was a boy in my class who was missing half of his pinky because his mum closed the car door on his finger....:eek:

So it's your fault I dreamt last night that 2 of Edgar's fingers fell off :eek:_pale_

I'm all mixed up, it feels like a saturday because Chris stayed at my mums last night after we went round for tea which we normally do on a friday night

feelinggood_2

Bruno - Would OH entertain the idea of chatting to HV on the phone, or sending an email? I find it hard to talk in person, and my HV was very helpful over email.

What about you taking charge of the nap times for a little while, give both OH and LO a break from the fighting. Once she is feeling a little better and LO is a bit more calm and less likely to get worked up, try them again? Is it just one lunch time nap? Could you pop home from work for that?

My_Fathers_Daughter

Congrats 16!!! Fantastic results!


Bruno - naptimes are always easiest with the radio on at least then Benjamin doesn't jump off the sofa everytime I sniff or put my cup down!!

The other option is joint naps? A bad habit maybe but would OH go down for a nap with Elijah? An hour of cuddles and shared sleep may do them both some good.


Can I ask if she is relaxed about other areas of parenting (you don't have to answer)?
Is feeding and playing fun but problems start when it comes to sleeping, or are other aspect stressful too?

Sami_Bee

Searching we had THIS one at my mum's and it did the job fine although THIS one is cheaper but I don't know what it's like