MSE Parents Club Part 5

BrunoM

Nap time has come around... today he won't even settle at the start, OH stormed out after a few minutes trying, I offered to take over, she said "I have to do this" and went determinedly back in... she's been singing and rocking for another 5 minutes now, if he won't settle after this I fear she'll explode!

BrunoM

And yes, she came out again with him screaming, refused to let me do anything or get involved at all and in fact swore at me til I went away. She is standing outside his room with arms crossed and furious face while he screams. She says she is trying controlled crying again, which - fair enough if so.

tiamai_d

Best get the kettle on the choccie biscuits out Bruno.... maybe even ice cream....

feelinggood_2

How often are nap times a struggle? Would bringing the time forward or making it later help? Probably far to simple but I thought I'd mention it.

BrunoM

I went back a few mins later and discovered she had decided that the thing to do was - every 10 seconds, go in and lie him down under the cover, then leave again. he would immediately spring to his feet and continue sobbing. Rinse repeat.
I told her she couldn't keep doing that and should go sit down and let me try - she went in and grabbed him and started shouting at him, I took him away and gave them both cuddles and sat her down in a different room.

He won't calm down at all for me, so I am back to not really having an option which she'll accept bar CC; if I do anything else she feels I'm coddling him and teaching him habits which she won't be able to cope with at all in my absence. She is crying a lot, tried to tell me we should leave him in the bathtub so that he understands the alternative to napping when tired is less attractive, suggested adoption... I said I was going to ring HV team to ask for advice and maybe a visit and she says there's no way she's talking to anyone and will be out if they come round... sigh.

Not quite sure what my next steps are; probably some time off work...

searching_me

just finished watching that martin lewis dvd on youtube nothing much i didnt know already but a few handy tips there x

BrunoM

feelinggood wrote: »

How often are nap times a struggle? Would bringing the time forward or making it later help? Probably far to simple but I thought I'd mention it.

Thanks Feely; the naptime routine was working til a week ago, then it started shortening, and now/yesterday he is fighting hard against going down at all. He has all the tired signs though. We tried making it a bit earlier today. I guess maybe we will try a bit later tomorrow, at a loss on that front though, seems to be more his current attitude than the timing.

Buttonmoons

Could you not just leave him to fall asleep wherever he drops?

I never had a set naptime for Keira, but at age 1, she'd just go lie down on a cushion and have a snooze.

tiamai_d

Maybe it's time to stop being so nice then. Tell her she will speak to someone about it or she is no longer welcome at home with you and Elijha. She is an adult and as an adult she has to accept that at times people need help, no matter how hard it is for her to do that.

But I don't mind being harsh when it's needed, you may be different. Either way, you phone and speak to a HV to get some advice because its not easy on you either.

BrunoM

Was just typing that he'd fallen asleep now, but he just whimpered... siiiiigh.

Thanks Tia but too harsh for me, and not realistic. But I will talk to her again about seeing someone when she's calmer.

Sleep where he drops - he tends to wake very easily when not in his cot, unfortunately. Could be worth a try maybe.

ETA - he sleeps now. OH calmer. Everything as good as it's going to be for now!