MSE Parents Club Part 5

tiamai_d

elle_gee wrote: »

The comms nurse who came today was only on her third visit here. She asked how the app on Monday went so I just said the consultant was really pleased with him, and she immediately said "Well that's because you're so good with him and you do loads with him.." - not sure how she knew that from two and a bit short visits!

Being blunt, if you hadn't been doing so much with him he would be nowhere near as mobile as he is. You would be amazed (and shocked and disgusted) at how many parents can just leave them lying in a cot and not bother with any physio or anything. There is a girl same age as Christopher with her left side affected like his right side is, parents never bothered at all, a case of 'oh well she's disabled and she'll get her disability money when shes older so we don't have to waste our time on all that stuff'. She can walk (just) but has almost no us use of her left side at all even mentally she has the attitude that she cant do it so someone else will do it for her. What annoye me is that she wasn't as bad as Chris was when she was younger, but no she is because she was left and her muscles have now gotten so tight that she won't ever get much better even if they bothered to do some physio/OT with her.

Bruno, your OH sounds like me at times. I get all worked up and frustrated about other things that I take it out on whatever/whoever is closest. I have no advice for you though, I don't understand why I do it either and usually have no idea whatsoever as to what is causing me to be stressed. Just be patient. Think we have all been there at some point.

Mazcabs

I know these are a couple of months old but just got round to adding them to FB

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=36284&id=1238780812&ref=nf#/photo.php?pid=704497&id=1238780812

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=36284&id=1238780812&ref=nf#/photo.php?pid=704502&id=1238780812

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=36284&id=1238780812&ref=nf#/photo.php?pid=704505&id=1238780812

tiamai_d

emlou2009 wrote: »

on flat head syndrome, how do you tell the difference between it being ok and not? seth has quite a flat head at the back but i dont know how to tell if its normal or if its gone past normal?

Take a picture of his head from above. Depends on how worried you are about it. DS1 has bad brachycephaly (meaning it is flat at the back rather than flat at one side) too late to do anything now (he's 8 soon). Just keep him off his back as much as possible.

tiamai_d

DS2 off nursery again with his cold (fingers crossed it stays just a cold and not his first chest infection of the season) DS1 off to school, Amber in her hammock and coughing... do babies get colds? I'm not speaking to her anyway, I tired to get fresh with DH last night and just as things started to get interesting, she decided to do a very noisy poo with lots of grunting and really taking her time over it. :mad: Little bit off putting, but I suppose a good thing really as I was just going to go on the hope that DH's vasectomy had actually worked (still not 'handed' in his samples:rotfl:) and that breastfeeding is a contraceptive :cool: And then your all talking about adult entertainment...

Anyone else get a mental image of Bruno in the nudey buff chasing a spider with a shoe, cave-man style? Can imagine him yelling 'Captain Caaaaaaaaave-Mannnnn!'.:rotfl:

I'm in the SW of Scotland, about 45mins south of Glasgow.

weezl74

Good morning becles and feely, Tia and mazcabs and all who follow

Bruno I'm so sorry that your OH is struggling and aware too that that isn't easy for you, always having to be supportive and patient, when perhaps you might want to have a meltdown too every now and again

It sounds from what you said like the main issue is her belief in children being very savvy and canny and clever and having the ideas to manipulate their parents. (I'm not saying she'd say 'yes' in her happier moments, but that's the belief that seems to emerge when she's struggling.)

When I'm not on maternity leave, I'm a counsellor, and if your OH was to ask me for some support, I guess that's where I'd start. With some gentle exploring of that belief. It may turn out that she herself was made to feel super-responsible for the feelings and well-being of her own parents in some way (way before the tragedy with her mum, I mean). And the upshot in her adult life might be a belief (that's a bit unhelpful) that children are very knowing and very powerful, even at elijah's young age. Or it could stem from a completely different place, but it seems to be this belief that she has which leads to her current anger and frustration.

I hope that gives you a possible starting place Keep letting us know how you both are?

Love weezl x

Claire_Jones_3

Mazcabs wrote: »

Oh and I am in Essex (borders of east London) but dont think anyone else is?

I used to live in Essex about 10 miles from southend but I escaped!

redmel1621

Haha - Just read backwards through all the posts...

Elle - I'm sure you wouldn't have a problem with fhs...my friend is lazy, basically left her lo in it all day.....while she sat on bum watching tv!!! Plus she had problems with her older daughter who was quite clingy so to 'make sure' this baby didn't go that way she barely used to pick her up...or even let her husband pick her up, even though it was his first baby and he had to ask permission to have cuddles with her:rolleyes: As long as it is limited to shortish stretches of use throughout the day he will be fine, i'm sure, I only wanted bring awareness of it really:D

Bruno - ((hugs)) hope things ease up for you and your oh. In this house it is dh who screams and shouts if the kids are 'mis-behaving' I am the calming influence...I often accuse him of being far too strict and trying to run the house like an army camp:rolleyes: He often accuses me of being far too lax with them and letting do whatever they please:rolleyes: Leading to quite a few arguments:o


I was watching Kai on his quilt earlier and he is trying to commando crawl, he is also trying to get his knees under him and pushing his bum up in the air:eek: I think we will have to get baby gates within the next month.

Back to Childminders - I am lucky that I see her quite often so see how she is with the kids in her care and dhe is a nice smiley lady. We are going to see her house next Friday, she was pleased that I was going to bring the kids along and she said she would give them after school snack with the kids she had that day:) She was saying the kids are welcome to bring slippers and in the winter they do things like pyjama parties, it sounds great. I will feel bad on the days when I am not sending the kids to her as she seems to genuinely love looking after them. But having found the timetable for my course on the University website and seeing how few hours I will actually have to attend, if I have no work to get done I don't just want to sit round twiddling my thumbs I would rather have my baby at home with me. I do feel a bit bad at sending him, but I would have had to anyway once my maternity leave ended:o

Thankfully like MFD is doing, we have managed to shift his bedtime from 7pm to between 7.30-8pm which will be better for days when I don't get home till 6pm

Mazcabs

Claire_Jones wrote: »

I used to live in Essex about 10 miles from southend but I escaped!

Escaped! its not that bad !

redmel1621

Just read Weezls post....and I completely get the part about having to remain calm and patient!
I wish could sometimes stop being the one to calm things down...sometimes I feel like shouting as well but can't (well rarely)

Excellent post Weezl - as usual:A

feelinggood_2

redmel1621 wrote: »

Just read Weezls post....and I completely get the part about having to remain calm and patient!
I wish could sometimes stop being the one to calm things down...sometimes I feel like shouting as well but can't (well rarely)

Excellent post Weezl - as usual:A

I agree, very good post. That is one thing I'm finding hard to adjust to, my change in role. It has always been OH who is the happy and healthy one, and he has looked after me for the majority of our relationship. Now, he is the one who is suffering, and I'm the one who has to do the looking after, the ignoring the negative behaviour etc. It is a very hard adjustment to make!