Relationship advice please

viktory

vodaphonesimcard wrote: »

The only reason grandad had DD was cause the house was unsafe for toddling round while the man was here.

It sure was! :rolleyes:

welshmoneylover

Just to stick my tuppence in.....

Have you considered getting a work? I just though maybe having an extra wage coming in might take the financial pressure of your OH.

Secondly, u getting out of the house and mixing with adult company might get you out of a rut.

hth x

robpw2

welshmoneylover wrote: »

Just to stick my tuppence in.....

Have you considered getting a work? I just though maybe having an extra wage coming in might take the financial pressure of your OH.

Secondly, u getting out of the house and mixing with adult company might get you out of a rut.

hth x

i think this would be good for her too

ceridwen

viktory wrote: »

Sorry to say, but this other man almost certainly has the patter and several other bored housewives on the go. .

Well - I've been reading through this thread and was going to raise this point myself if no-one else did. That workman is certainly NOT very "professional" in his attitude to his work is he.....lets just hope the standard of workmanship is better than his attitude to his customers.

I am sorry to say it - but if he's this "unprofessional" towards one customer - then he is highly likely to be so with other customers as well.

ManOnTheMoon

Just my two pennies worth.

Having been cheated on twice, I would sooner have been told before i'd found out, because I could have kicked them out sooner and with a bigger bump than they had, although as far as i'm aware they are still suffering now. The grass was not greener.

Taking my partner hat off and putting the childrens one on, how will this affect them? My kids still suffer now, especially the older two, who accepted the second one into their lives as a second mother. They won't even let me consider having another partner incase someone does it again. When you have kids, they become the priority. Yes, you must look after yourself, but this was a mistake that will affect them. Your life has not changed for the better because of one slimy man wanting what he would consider some fresh meat for him.

It's done now, it can't be undone. I really don't know what to suggest, but it will come out one day. Do you wait until the kids are older and lead a lie for a number of years, or do you try and deal with it now? It's very much a thing for every individual relationship.

Was there no way you could talk to your partner? No way you could try and spice things up? I understand relationships can be hard and often need reigniting, but effort has to be there.

Communication is something people tend to struggle with and without it, miserable lives are led.

Without trying to sound obvious, you need to speak to your partner, even if you decide not to tell him about this mistake just yet. See what his reaction is to reigniting your relationship, you getting a job or whatever you need to talk about.

I wish you, your partner and children all the best. I cannot condone this error in any way, but I hope whatever you do, it all works out for the best, especially for the kids.

londoner1998

welshmoneylover wrote: »

Just to stick my tuppence in.....

Have you considered getting a work? I just though maybe having an extra wage coming in might take the financial pressure of your OH.

Secondly, u getting out of the house and mixing with adult company might get you out of a rut.

hth x

I agree- look, my Oh has a part time job, but to earn enough to live he also freelances and so more often than not ends up working all hours in the world. Luckily, I have my job (ok, not thrilling, but I am working on a transfer to a more interesting one), I go to yoga classes once a week, not many friends in town ( I moved ten here years ago and people come and go) but I also volunteer my time at the yoga center. If you got yourself a job, your sense of your own worth would soar, you would meet new people and your oh wouldn't have to kiil himself working. Also, why don't you just go together for a walk, or , when he comes home, try and cheer him up by, I don't know, making him a cup of tea or giving him a back rub? I recently spent 6 weeks sex-less, partly because of my OH hours and partly because I still suffer enormous fatigue after my dad's death two years ago. We were never together at the same time. I talked to him about it and we started to take it easy , doing more things together now his daughter is away on holiday (she comes to stay on the weekends ) and sex is becoming more frequent. What I am trying to say is that it involves a bit of effort, but it can be done. Is not the end of the world if you can talk about it and have a will to resolve your problems and address the lack of excitement in your marriage. Having sex with a stranger is the easy option, but I don't think it is going to satisfy you in the long term. I agree with those who said this workman is not very professional- that's the first thing that jumped at me. Decent people just don't go around saying to their clients' wives that they want to sleep with them. Stay well clear of this one, he's bad news.

Go and paint your toe nails, wax your legs and try to speak to your husband. It seems to me that you needed a lot of attention. But you have to be the first one to pay attention to yourself. You can't rely on your husband reading your mind

paddy's_mum

I hope and pray for the sake of your innocent children that this rank and shabby excuse for a man/husband is better at keeping his mouth shut than he is at keeping his trousers done up!

If he is not the sort to keep his mouth shut, you may end up not needing any advice whatever when your husband takes the whole matter right out of your hands by filing for divorce on the grounds of your repeated adultery. What job will you be going for to pay maintenance if your husband applies for and gains custody of the children? Where are you going to live if your husband decides that he won't spend one more day in a job he dislikes in order to provide for a disloyal wife who thinks momentary excitement with a stranger is more valuable than he is, warts and all?

Don't make the mistake of thinking that I don't understand love and passion - I do, but I also know that a few minutes "fun" with a piece of scum is one hell of a price to pay if the eventual cost is to lose everyone and everything you hold dear. You have taken the most enormous risk and perhaps you need to be frightened out of your wits at what you stand to lose to force you to grow up and never, ever again do something so blatantly stupid so long as you live.

Your husband doesn't deserve to be so deceived but in this case I can only say, for the sake of these young children, that I wish you luck in putting and keeping this despicable episode in the past.

Zazen999

I've read your first post more than once and can find only one question that you have asked so the answer is that we don't know if you should accept that your marriage will be loveless or not. I'm not sure what actual advice you want from posting this? You know that people will judge; that's what they do. Perhaps this is the worst thing you have ever done; perhaps it is the best. Only time will tell.

BeenieCat

viktory wrote: »

You are really coming across cold and callous.

Or a troll. Is is the summer holiday after all :rolleyes:

That's a little harsh. I think maybe you misread this comment? I did misread it myself first time - had to read it twice!

vodaphonesimcard wrote: »

For what its worth im sure im not the 1st and wont be the last with this guy

Errata

As this workman is eager to have sex with a customer he's only just met, my only advice to the OP is to get tested for STD's asap.