Relationship advice please

Daaisy

just a couple of thoughts...........

a long time ago my ex husband left me( for someone 10 years younger and married but with no kids )after doing a mid life crisis in style. leaving me with four kids, the youngest only 18 months

I was devastated. we had been together as a couple from high school.

He married her and is still married to her.

We are both still dealing with the fallout from this which has affected all our kids differently.one particularly badly.

Is he any happier ? i dont know,

Financially neither of us have really recovered.Altho his new wife has wealthy parents which is a bonus for him !

I had worked part-time whilst the kids were little, finishing when the fourth was born..

There are jobs out there that can accomodate small children

I registered as a child minder after i had my third and then qualified as a nursery teacher just before my fourth was born.

As a new single parent ( god how i still hate that description )
I began work in a local nursery school taking my youngest with me.

I began to look to the future and realised that unless i retrained i would be living on state handouts forever.

I worked part-time and went to uni part-time on an access course.

There is a lot of financial help out there for child care, you just need to put the time in to find it.

I then began a degree course full time for three years

there are grants, student loans and also the student services at uni have a brilliant financial hardship fund which is particularly supportive of mature students with dependants.

Am i any happier? .............Definitely yes !

and i have learned that being happy doesnt have to rely on having a man in your life.

Am i any richer ?......................definitely no !!!

but at least now i have prospects for future employment when the job market picks up

I have also shown my kids that its never to late to try and better yourself.

Sex ??? yes please that would be very nice ( its been a while)............,!!!!!!

but you know what?

I feel i deserve better than a quick shag upstairs with a builder who cant keep his di.k in his pants.

Do i wish i was still married.now???...............

..for myself I honestly dont think so.......

but for my kids yes definitely...........I feel they have missed out on so much by being part of a fragmented family.

So whats the answer???

Maybe its to make the best of what you have and try and be true to yourself and honest with your partner.

It sounds to me like your husband could be suffering from depression too so maybe he could benefit from a trip to the doctors.................

I just hope for his sake that he doesnt hear from anyone else what has been going on.................

Daaisy

financegirl

Daaisy wrote: »

just a couple of thoughts...........

a long time ago my ex husband left me( for someone 10 years younger and married but with no kids )after doing a mid life crisis in style. leaving me with four kids, the youngest only 18 months

I was devastated. we had been together as a couple from high school.

He married her and is still married to her.

We are both still dealing with the fallout from this which has affected all our kids differently.one particularly badly.

Is he any happier ? i dont know,

Financially neither of us have really recovered.Altho his new wife has wealthy parents which is a bonus for him !

I had worked part-time whilst the kids were little, finishing when the fourth was born..

There are jobs out there that can accomodate small children

I registered as a child minder after i had my third and then qualified as a nursery teacher just before my fourth was born.

As a new single parent ( god how i still hate that description )
I began work in a local nursery school taking my youngest with me.

I began to look to the future and realised that unless i retrained i would be living on state handouts forever.

I worked part-time and went to uni part-time on an access course.

There is a lot of financial help out there for child care, you just need to put the time in to find it.

I then began a degree course full time for three years

there are grants, student loans and also the student services at uni have a brilliant financial hardship fund which is particularly supportive of mature students with dependants.

Am i any happier? .............Definitely yes !

and i have learned that being happy doesnt have to rely on having a man in your life.

Am i any richer ?......................definitely no !!!

but at least now i have prospects for future employment when the job market picks up

I have also shown my kids that its never to late to try and better yourself.

Sex ??? yes please that would be very nice ( its been a while)............,!!!!!!

but you know what?

I feel i deserve better than a quick shag upstairs with a builder who cant keep his di.k in his pants.

Do i wish i was still married.now???...............

..for myself I honestly dont think so.......

but for my kids yes definitely...........I feel they have missed out on so much by being part of a fragmented family.

So whats the answer???

Maybe its to make the best of what you have and try and be true to yourself and honest with your partner.

It sounds to me like your husband could be suffering from depression too so maybe he could benefit from a trip to the doctors.................

I just hope for his sake that he doesnt hear from anyone else what has been going on.................

Daaisy

you sound amazing - I can't believe you have achieved all this. What a woman - 4 children on your own and re-training like that.

An inspiration, really well done.

I'm writing a book on stories like yours - if you would like to be involved, please pm me, if not, don't worry at all - I just wanted to say how impressed I am by your story. well done girl..:T

jamesey07

hey i have been cheated on in the past and thankfully there was no kids involved, ask yourself can u live with knowing what u have done the rest off your life as even though you don't feel guilty as you say it'll always be in the back of your mind that you cheated, ask yourself this to, even though you might not tell your husband what's to say the person u had sex with was to tell his wife at sometime in the future and it'll all come out in the open, i know things might seem hunky dory between use now but these type of things never really end good, also ask yourself the effects this will have on not only your own children but on the wife of the guy and his child, you should of had the decency to try and fix things with your husband instead of going behind his back, your basically living a lie with him now and i think if you weren't feeling guilty then why would u be posting this here under a different username? i believe firmly in karma and things like this always come back.. i think it's selfish behaviour which will most likely destroy 2 families along with a few kids :mad:

ceridwen

vodaphonesimcard wrote: »

Glen theres simply not the money to pay for childcare. There are grants avalable but to people with less than a 20k income.
Id need someone to do school runs and then take the little one with me to the onsite nursery. Thats 35 pounds a day.
Id say a massive well done to the lasy that did it with 5 kids

Hmmm....well checking out your posts....I think one useful thing you could do if you do envisage going to University at some point would be to take some sort of adult literacy course or similar now - and then you would have the spelling and grammar sorted out before starting any other course. Perhaps it would be a good idea to look up what's available in that line...