Relationship advice please

vodaphonesimcard

Zippy I totally agree with you but it would give me a reason to go. Oh has not a single friend. In all the years weve together ive not met a single friend/ has he gone down the pub etc
He is fantastic with the kids
Currently no one of the kids doesnt go to bed properly as hes waiting for an operation and only sleeps for short periods. The op is in 2 momths and it cannot come soon enough
I think possibly hes depressed yes- all job related
He never tells me he loves me or even smiles now
Again im hypercitical if this was one of my mates I wouldnt know what to say to her

Glen0000

vodaphonesimcard wrote: »

Zippy I totally agree with you but it would give me a reason to go. Oh has not a single friend. In all the years weve together ive not met a single friend/ has he gone down the pub etc
He is fantastic with the kids
Currently no one of the kids doesnt go to bed properly as hes waiting for an operation and only sleeps for short periods. The op is in 2 momths and it cannot come soon enough
I think possibly hes depressed yes- all job related
He never tells me he loves me or even smiles now
Again im hypercitical if this was one of my mates I wouldnt know what to say to her

I am sorry to hear that. Again there are ways round this. Even if he only sleeps for half an hour at a time there is still room for a sex life.

Could you not put the kids on front of the TV and have half an hour upstairs on a Sunday or are they too young? We have had a lock on the bedroom door since DD was 8, but with young ones it is more difficult.

Sounds like you are both in a rut.

viktory

OP you sound very young and immature. I agree you are also a hypocrite in that you would leave your husband if he cheated but you are happy to keep this quiet.

I have to say my sympathies are totally with your poor cuckold of a husband. He works in a job he dislikes to provide for his family with a nice house and car with no financial help from you. Poor sod probably has no idea what is going on and how deceitful and disloyal his wife is being.

Talk to your husband - openly and honestly. He deserves to know what you have been doing. Imagine if you catch something or get pregnant. Worse, imagine that you pass something onto your husband. How can your husband deal with your feelings if he has no idea how you are feeling?

Wait until the children are in bed and have an honest and open conversation with him. He deserves so much better than you are giving him.

Sorry to say, but this other man almost certainly has the patter and several other bored housewives on the go. There is no future in the 'relationship' and you are cheapening yourself with furtive quickies. If your husband is too knackered for sex because he is working hard to support you and your kids, then buy yourself some lube and a vibrator. Much less heartache. There is more to marriage than sex.

robpw2

i think sadly you have your answer you need to be honest with you husband and tell him you feel its not working wether or not you mention your indiscretion is up to you but if he finds out at a later date and you decide to stay with him then that will make things much worse

im not judging you for having sex with someone else its not my place but
i am not sure sleeping with this man is a good idea for you both physically and emotionally

you need to ask your self some questions
1. do you want to be with your dh?
2.do you love him?


you need to make an effort with your husband too make him feel wanted set some time aside for you both to do things together

vodaphonesimcard

There not really at an age to be left yet (my kids). Its just pure excitment with him. DH would never consider love making out of the bedroom today wasnt in the bedroom.
For what its worth im sure im not the 1st and wont be the last with this guy

robpw2

how old are your kids -no ones saying leave them but surely you can get a realative to watch them for an hour or two

perhaps you could look into getitng a childminder in day and go out and do a couple of hours or work so that you get out of the house

it seems that your craving attention and excitement and i think you feel trapped

where were your children when you were "at it" with this guy ? because if they had to endure your activities then they are going to be really confused

viktory

vodaphonesimcard wrote: »

There not really at an age to be left yet (my kids). Its just pure excitment with him. DH would never consider love making out of the bedroom today wasnt in the bedroom.
For what its worth im sure im not the 1st and wont be the last with this guy

You are really coming across cold and callous.

Or a troll. Is is the summer holiday after all :rolleyes:

vodaphonesimcard

nope promise im not a troll DS is 6 DD is 1
DS was at holiday club and DD with grandad
The only reason grandad had DD was cause the house was unsafe for toddling round while the man was here

it seems that your craving attention and excitement and i think you feel trapped

seams very accuarate.

robpw2

could you perhaps do a family trip to somewhere like butlins where they have a kids club and baby sitting service and then spend some time with your hubby in the evening and discuss your issues , or perhaps you could write your husband a letter just explain how your feeling - he may genuinely be so stressed he doesnt know there is a problem

it seems he is doing alot for you and your family and in doing so never spends enough time with them

lorac3

Well couldn't read and run.
What happened to your wedding vows ? this sounds like you have been had ( more than one way ). You have met a chancer doing some work at your house, been flattered ( he will try it on with anyone ) you fell for it !
It will mean nothing to him, just another notch on his belt.
You now need to assess the damage to your marriage and decide whether you want to continue.
Not much advice or sympathy. Sorry.