Dad upset at topless neighbour

SCAMPIDOODLE

absolutebounder wrote: »

he could go out naked himself and ask her what she thought of his dried flower arrangement:D

love this!!

SnowyOwl_2

Assuming the OP is a woman I'd suggest she calls round to the neighbour and has a "woman to woman" conversation with the person in question. Otherwise if there is a man also living next door then dad could have a "man to man" conversation with him. It doesn't have to be a big deal nor does it have to turn into a shouting match. It could even start with the OP or OP's father saying that they are thinking of extending the fence to the end because there seems to be a privacy issue. AFAIK you can put a six foot fence up and the neighbours can't object, but you can tell them beforehand out of courtesy. Assumably she also has a 200 foot garden, so maybe she'll think about using the 100 foot which is screened to sunbathe semi-nude. I think that under the current circumstances the OP's father may be too embarrassed to invite anyone to his garden, and I'm sure he's too much of a gentleman to arrange for his neighbour to be leered or laughed at.

Lotus-eater

Funny thread. While I agree that she has a right to show what she wants, she should also take others feelings into consideration.

She is an exhibitionist btw, I've been out with one or two, I suspect it wouldn't cross her mind that a bloke wouldn't really like to see them out, I also suspect if you say anything to her it won't make any difference, she will do it anyway, maybe more overtly.
She probably gets a kick if she sees someone a bit embarrassed. Best thing you can tell your Dad to do, is to completely ignore her, she wants attention.

Debt_Free_Chick

Some very interesting suggestions that we should "consider the impact on others" when we're on our own land. Perhaps we should consider that concept further ... to what extent ought we to "consider the impact on others" when we're in our own properties ....?

Sure ... certain activities can have an adverse impact. Loud music, for example. It can't be confined and will, therefore, invade our neighbours. So .... do we never, ever have a party/BBQ? (What are you doing this BH weekend? ). Some people find the "aroma" or smoke from a BBQ offensive ... are they to be banned?

What if the kids shriek, shout and run around?

What if the dog barks?

Those are things that are imposed on our neighbours. In the case of the OP's father's neighbour though, I can't help but conclude that he (the father) must actually look over the fence in order to see that the neighbour is topless. Is that not, perhaps, an invasion of her privacy? Is it unreasonable to suggest that the father should simply "gaze" down his own garden, rather than glance left or right into the neighbour's garden?

Should we live our lives in a way that aims to offend no-one, if that means that we forego some of our own pleasures, which are legitimate, legal and not intended to offend anyone (whilst in the privacy of our own homes/gardens)?

Curious ......

Zazen999

Debt_Free_Chick wrote: »

Those are things that are imposed on our neighbours. In the case of the OP's father's neighbour though, I can't help but conclude that he (the father) must actually look over the fence in order to see that the neighbour is topless. Is that not, perhaps, an invasion of her privacy? Is it unreasonable to suggest that the father should simply "gaze" down his own garden, rather than glance left or right into the neighbour's garden?

The ISN'T a fence in that part of the garden...how many more times? He doesn't mind in the parts where there is a fence, just when she flounces herself round the garden when he is tending his veg.

Spendless

Think I'd be tempted to buy a windbreaker?? The sort of thing you used to see on beaches. Then I'd put that between me and the part of the veg patch I'm tending to so I wouldn't be able to see my topless neighbour.

OR

I'd ask the neighbourhoods lads oooohhh aged between 9-14 to come round and tend the veg patch to learn about gardening. Bet she puts her top on quick then.:D

Lotus-eater

Spendless wrote: »

I'd ask the neighbourhoods lads oooohhh aged between 9-14 to come round and tend the veg patch to learn about gardening. Bet she puts her top on quick then.:D

Generally the rules of exhibitionism, are no kids and no families where you can be seen, that sometimes goes by the by in a populated area.
Teenaged lads are generally considered fair game, ie they like it. Sometimes they like it too much, which is when a chain link fence comes in handy.
Don't push it basically.

She won't put her top on quickly at any time soon, the sooner you work that out, the easier for all of you, learn to live with it, or learn to dismiss it.
Personally I would make a laugh out of it and talk to the lady about it, but everyone is different.

motorguy

I'd extend the fence to cover the area in question.

motorguy

Debt_Free_Chick wrote: »

Some very interesting suggestions that we should "consider the impact on others" when we're on our own land. Perhaps we should consider that concept further ... to what extent ought we to "consider the impact on others" when we're in our own properties ....?

Sure ... certain activities can have an adverse impact. Loud music, for example. It can't be confined and will, therefore, invade our neighbours. So .... do we never, ever have a party/BBQ? (What are you doing this BH weekend? ). Some people find the "aroma" or smoke from a BBQ offensive ... are they to be banned?

What if the kids shriek, shout and run around?

What if the dog barks?

Those are things that are imposed on our neighbours. In the case of the OP's father's neighbour though, I can't help but conclude that he (the father) must actually look over the fence in order to see that the neighbour is topless. Is that not, perhaps, an invasion of her privacy? Is it unreasonable to suggest that the father should simply "gaze" down his own garden, rather than glance left or right into the neighbour's garden?

Should we live our lives in a way that aims to offend no-one, if that means that we forego some of our own pleasures, which are legitimate, legal and not intended to offend anyone (whilst in the privacy of our own homes/gardens)?

Curious ......

If it was a man naked (assuming it were legal to do so) would you / your family not find it inappropriate to have to ensure you 'gaze' directly down your own garden when your neighbour is in his garden.

Theres a matter of inappropriateness here. Nudity at home should be in the 'privacy' of your own house or garden, NOT in an area where other people have to endure it.

biggaz26

Here is my opinion based on what ive read here.

She has every right ot be topless in her garden. However she should still concider the feelings of her neighbour if she is aware of them.

A quiet word, I would hope, just to explain that he is not comfortable should sort it if she is a decent person. If not then maybe it needs looking into further and I would be willing to do that for you...haha

Joking aside whislt we shouldnt be expected to concider everyone elses feelings at all times..especially when we are in our own homes and gardens, it is only decent that when we realise that some is being affected we take steps to ensure that we dont do that where reasonable. By this i mean he has no right to complain if he is craining his neck around or over a fence to see, which i am sure he is not. In this case she just has to stay up the fenced part of the garden..its no big deal or hardship. The BBQ example is a good one above...if the smoke is loads and going into someones window then once the person having the barbie is made aware moving it to a different part of the garden is reasonable. Complaining just because someone is cooking pork sausages and you dont like the smell is not reasonable imo.

Anyway thats just my opinion and I like to think I am a decent human being!

GAZ