Taking control of my life

Ames

Thanks Shoegal.

Well, good news, I've just managed to buy a ticket for Leeds festival. I'd have rather got it from a local independent shop but I'd have had to queue for hours (four last time I got one from there) and they'll sell them all anyway.

Now I just need to find someone to go with me as my carer, I'm not taking sis this year. It shouldn't be too hard though - I'm offering a free ticket with all food and equipment provided, and the caring isn't too onerous.

I suppose I'd better go look to see who's playing!

Shoe_Gal

Glad the day is ending on a positive note

Wol2

Shoe_Gal wrote: »

Glad the day is ending on a positive note

Me too...stick with it Ames :beer::beer:
xxxx

GeorgeUK

Glad to see you're not letting her drag you down.

Was a little worried that she may have taken something like a paracetamol overdose - rarely fatal but can still cause problems. I remember though that there are no real indicators until after 24 hours.

Hopefully she is just going into a strop. She's not getting her own way and feeling bad so she'll make everyone else feel bad.

Glad you were able to handle it okay - how's your dad doing?

Ames

From experience paracetamol overdoses kick in a lot earlier than 24 hours. And once she'd got what she wanted she admitted she hadn't done it. Dad was picking her up tonight and if there was a problem I'd know by now.

Dad's a mess. This has been going on for a few weeks, and his diabetes is being affected, he's finding it hard to control it. I think I'm going to have to be there for him a lot over the next few months, she's moving back in with him and it'll be a nightmare for them both.

I've just about decided that I'm going to not talk to her again, not for a while anyway. I just don't need that in my life anymore.

Well, I was supposed to be going to a meeting tonight. People from the tenants and residents groups will be there and I wanted to sound out going back. But I'll put it back for a few months, after letting them down last year I need to be 100% sure I'm ready. I had a few doubts anyway and with all this going on it's a complication I don't need. It's probably best to wait until I've settled into all the other new stuff going on anyway, like the full time OU, my other volunteering, the social activities and the work with my support worker.

Wow when I say it like that it sounds like I've got a really full life!

beanielou

Wise decisions there I think

Wol2

Ames wrote: »

From experience paracetamol overdoses kick in a lot earlier than 24 hours. And once she'd got what she wanted she admitted she hadn't done it. Dad was picking her up tonight and if there was a problem I'd know by now.

Dad's a mess. This has been going on for a few weeks, and his diabetes is being affected, he's finding it hard to control it. I think I'm going to have to be there for him a lot over the next few months, she's moving back in with him and it'll be a nightmare for them both.

I'm sad to hear that - but you can;t save him from your sister - you can only support him provided it doesn;t cause you any harm in the process. Us girlies DO like to protect our dads - I posted something similar a few weeks ago in my diary - but both my lovely my DFW friends and my psychotherapist came back with the same answer......he's an adult, he can take care of himself......

I've just about decided that I'm going to not talk to her again, not for a while anyway. I just don't need that in my life anymore.

Wise decision - dont hesitate to ring me if you start to wobble

Well, I was supposed to be going to a meeting tonight. People from the tenants and residents groups will be there and I wanted to sound out going back. But I'll put it back for a few months, after letting them down last year I need to be 100% sure I'm ready. I had a few doubts anyway and with all this going on it's a complication I don't need. It's probably best to wait until I've settled into all the other new stuff going on anyway, like the full time OU, my other volunteering, the social activities and the work with my support worker.

Wow when I say it like that it sounds like I've got a really full life!

Yes - you are starting to explore and develop a full and satisfying life for yourself which is brilliant and liberating...(and sometimes a bit scarey :eek:)

Well done sweetheart :T:T. Don;t be afraid to try stuff but then chuck it in if it doesn;t work for you (I just resigned from the British Legion because it wasn;t working for me ....and I DON'T FEEL GUILTY :j:j:j)

These are all VERY positive steps you are taking Ames. You are a lovely lady and you truly DO deserve to find a happiness and contentment with your life :kisses3:.........You ARE worth it :A

Onwards and upwards Hun :T

xxx

ZTD

Ames wrote: »

Z, I would write to her GP but I'm not sure it'll do any good.

There is a risk that they don't do the right thing with the information. But they certainly can't do the right thing *without* the information.

Ames wrote: »

So sister's convinced that if she asks for help then it'll go on her notes and she'll never get a job.

Or so she says. All of that is assuming that she is ill and not just manipulating us.

She can still be manipulative and ill at the same time.

Ames wrote: »

But yeah, I think I will write to the GP, don't know if it'll do any good though.

Try it.

Ames wrote: »

As for me, I didn't sleep well. I was having a bit of an emotional rollercoaster night, I think I felt just about every emotion at some point! I think I'm going to phone the counselling service and get put on their waiting list.

Above all, I will not let her make me feel guilty and that all of her problems are my fault.

Thanks again for reading guys, it's good to have this outlet.

Her problems are not your fault.

Ames

Wol2 wrote: »

Yes - you are starting to explore and develop a full and satisfying life for yourself which is brilliant and liberating...(and sometimes a bit scarey :eek:)

Well done sweetheart :T:T. Don;t be afraid to try stuff but then chuck it in if it doesn;t work for you (I just resigned from the British Legion because it wasn;t working for me ....and I DON'T FEEL GUILTY :j:j:j)

These are all VERY positive steps you are taking Ames. You are a lovely lady and you truly DO deserve to find a happiness and contentment with your life :kisses3:.........You ARE worth it :A

Onwards and upwards Hun :T

xxx

Well, these are all things I've carried on doing this week! But more of that later...

It's been a week since ambulancegate and I haven't spoken to sister, or really wanted to. I'll have to at some point cos she's got loads of my stuff at hers and I've got a load of her cds, beyond that until she changes her attitude she's someone I can do without in my life.

So this week I've carried on with my stuff - read the book for book club next week, done OU work (supposed to be year 2 uni, but covering the same stuff I did at A level). I got the registration forms through for the courses I've chosen for next year but I'm thinking about changing them. Instead of doing the introduction to social sciences I might do the advanced economics, since I'm doing well with the first part and want to carry it on. It also makes sense financially since from June 1st they're only accepting clubcard vouchers for first year courses. So I'd get the economics course paid for, then can have a year to save up for the intro course from vouchers. It's a bit back to front, but I'm not one for doing things the same as everyone else anyway!

Talking of finances, in all the hubbub of last weekend I forgot to say I've paid off half of the debt to my dad. I need to write with another offer for the Egg card, and I've still not heard anything about the overdraft. I had a phonecall a few weeks ago about the barclaycard but haven't had anything in writing, so maybe I dreamed it?!

Now, for the 'Ames becomes a kick !!! girl with her own personality' news. First of all I've finally joined CAMRA - something I've wanted to do for years. £14 for a year, since I'm a student/disabled/unemployed. So hopefully that's another social outlet for me.

I've also bought a drum kit and been in touch with a tutor. It seems a bit out of left field, but there is some method to my madness. I've been thinking about learning an instrument for about a year, and the kit I've found was cheaper than guitars. Also, I've got small hands and don't really have the reach for guitars or keyboards. It'll also give me a bit of exercise, but at home so I can do it more controlled. My GP suggested walking, but what happens when I get x distance from home and I'm too knackered to get back?! And hopefully it'll be a 'safe' way of trying to build up my muscles and joints. If my joints 'go' when I'm cooking or walking it could be bad, if they 'go' when I'm drumming, the worst that could happen is my neighbours breathe a sigh of relief! (Luckily my upstairs neighbour's deaf!).

The small downside is that I used some of my debt savings to buy it with - but that's not as bad as it sounds. It just means that I have to get off my backside and get back the money I'm owed from the utilities and housing, which covers most of it, and sell some of my carp on ebay. I have to declutter anyway to make room for it!

And if it all goes wrong then I just stick the kit back on ebay.

So, lots to do this week.

1. Writing group monday
2. Reading group tuesday
3. phone to book a drum lesson
4. phone to get my money back
5. meet with support worker
6. list loads of stuff on ebay/amazon/green metropolis.
7. finish sorting the living room out.

Phew, I think I need a rest just writing it all down!

Wol, I know I owe you an email, I've just been digesting and reflecting on what you said, so much of it is true.

Well, that's all for this week.

beanielou

Sounding positive hun x