Its all gone very wrong... but I WILL beat this debt!!!

hypno06

"me" is very important - if you have yourself in balance, you will be able to focus on the practical issues much better.

pania

hi hon, sorry i've missed this, just had a quick scan through and sounds asthough things are tough. I'm not around most of the day today so will post properly tomorrow, just wanted you to know i'm thinking of you. xxx

*Jellie*

SarahNeedle1872 wrote: »

Thanks, I hadn't thought of the 'me' aspect of it too... I think I'm quite good at just soldiering on and switching my emotions off

Sx

The 'me' aspect is vital. You need to make your health and wellbeing a priority so you have the strength to get through all this.
It might not be the right time but maybe some counselling could help. Somewhere you can vent and work through your feelings with someone not involved in the situation.

beanielou

Sorry to hear your news & hope that you can find a way forward thats right for you & the wee man.

Lula-Hula

Hi, just caught up & sorry to hear things have got so bad again.

You've had some great advice from all the regulars here & all I can really add is to agree that you are cleary a caring mother to your DS & a very capable woman of substance.

Sometimes we have to make tough decisions based on what we need to do for survival (both emotional & financial) & as one who made that decision a long time ago - for reasons not unlike the problems you are currently facing - I found it tough at times but also such a relief to be in control of the situation.

I really hope that you find the way that is best for you.

xx

Sea78

hihoney - really hard decisions for you to make here. Big hugs to you! I think you right in prioritising your son (and yourself too). As for whether his mum will take him in if you make that decision, it's not really a choice - he moves there OR somewhere else.

xxxxx

SarahNeedle1872

Well I have just spent the last hour and a half [STRIKE]enduring[/STRIKE] looking through entitledto.... and what a waste of time that was!?! I couldn't get an accurate figure because I could not figure out what my LHA allowance was from the LHA website:mad: According to what I'd put in, I'd get no working tax credits, and an extra £40 a week child tax credits... but because I couldn't give it a LHA allowance figure, I couldn't carry on! Why oh why does the benefits system have to be such a minefield?! Is it any wonder so many people go through an annual cycle or under-payment then over-payment! !!!!!!! ridiculous!!!:mad:

On a plus note, OH has been in bed all day, so DS and I have just been slovving around, watching tv all day We are supposed to be writing his appeal letter tonight, so lets see if he ventures out of bed for that.... I won't hold my breath!! I wonder if he realises just how hard it is for me not to bang him round the head with a frying pan!?! Is it possible to love someone and have a burning hatred for them at the same time?:o

Had a look at the budget, and cutting everything back to bare bones, I am still £734.71 short each month:eek:... so the next thing to cut is the rent (£750) then I'll have a surplus:rotfl:


What a load of old !!!!!!

*Jellie*

:grouphug: Have a dodgy hug!

Wish I knew enough about the benefits system to be of some use. Maybe tomorrow you can talk to a real live person who can tell you what your entitled to.

Hope OH surfaces and pulls his weight with the letter. Is he depressed? If so is he getting help? I know he hasn't really helped himself by missing appointments etc.

Hope things start improving soon.

gilligansyle

Hi have just been catching up, you have your hands full at the moment. The entitledto site is ok if situations are straightforward, but if you are not a council/RSL tenant, it can be such a minefield. Its no wonder that they stop and start peoples benefits at random due to change of circumstances.
Do your local council or CAB have a benefits advisor, may be better to speak to a real person.
I take it that OH job loss was unexpected and that there is some sort of process that he needs to go through. Know what you mean about not going into detail, as I found out by accident that someone on here worked in the same place I used to, so really glad I never went into detail about my old job and why I left.
You need to concentrate on yourself and your son, work out all the options and find out which is better for him.

Hope it all works out.

Seaxwyn

Hi Sarah. The benefits system is really hard to fathom out. My OH recently made a claim and the local job centre has been worse than useless: losing forms, giving him the wrong forms, misinforming him about his entitlements, and on the last two times he went there, the office has been closed when it should have been open. It's been a whole two months and we still don't have a clear answer about whether he's entitled to anything. Sorry! That is not very encouraging I know! I hope you have more luck with it than us.

Have you talked about the situation with his MiL. It would be good to know for sure whether his going there for a while is an option, and whether she might make sure he looks after Connor so you could lose those nursery fees.