Its all gone very wrong... but I WILL beat this debt!!!

*Jellie*

Great to see you post again. I'm sure your persistence will pay off in the long term. Sometimes the debt getting worse is unavoidable- such as the new car. I know from all your posts that you're doing everything you can. Your debts would have been far worse if you hadn't been trying so hard this year xx

gilligansyle

Been wandering round looking to see who had diaries and found yours. Hope this turns out to be a good year, quite a few people, me included want to cut out the stress as well as the debt this year.

SarahNeedle1872

Thanks Gilli, I would love to have less stress in my life but right now that just isn't gonna happen!

Currently I am staring into the abyss... OH has lost his job:mad: I won't go into details because there is other stuff going on and you never know who's reading!

Based on what I earn, next months budget is sitting at £1350 short:eek: Thats without making any cut backs, obviously Sky will have to go, food budgets will be cut, fuel will be cut etc. OH is so blase about the whole thing, it makes me so :mad::mad::mad: And he didn't get out of bed until 1700 yesterday (no wonder nothing gets done!?!) and didn't get into bed until 530 this morning! He claims his body clock is all out of sync... until I pointed out that he hasn't worked for over a month!!!
I have told him in no uncertain terms that if he is not earning any money, he will need to move back into his Mums so I can claim HB or something.... it sounds heartless but my number 1 priority is DS! If OH can't be arsed to help himself, I'm certainly not going to bust a gut trying to help him!!

My biggest avoidable expense is DS at nursery... he's currently doing three full days, at a cost of £130 a week. I'm sure the LEA funding kicks in within the next few months (he's 3 in Feb) so that will make it cheaper, but until then its a lot of money to find! I could switch his days around, or make his hours slightly less, but until I know whats happening with OH, I can't sort anything out for definate. One thing I won't have is DS sat at home all day with OH, watching tv! He needs to be doing learning too!
Its driving me insane - I hate not knowing whats going on, and its all out of my control!:mad:

Of course I still need to find the money for this months nursery bill! I've got £220 in my childcare vouchers acc, but there's still the rest to find! And nothing left to sell in the house thats worth anything! I will look at entitledto.com and see if we'd be entitled to any help, but with OH still living at home, I doubt it!

I was so excited about my free month, now my whole financial world is crashing round my ears!

Hey ho!

Sx

postingalwaysposting

Oh my word Sarah thats one of the posts I thought would never be posted by you. What a huge set back and what a bad attitude your OH has towards it. But then again you prob expect nothing different from him :mad:

Ok so now you need to start looking after yourself and C. Stuff him and let him get on with his 'dream' life. I would suggest looking at entitled to with him and without him. If it will be more finacially viable to have him move in with his Mums then so be it. You need to be able to clothe, feed, work and pay back your min repayments, having a dead weight sucking your energy and finances will not help!

I know in an mse way it would be more sensible to take C out of education but I am so behind you. If your OH cant even do a bit of housework/chores he certainly isnt going to entertain/teach C. I know you will get funding soon whcih will help a little. When can he go into mainstreem education? I think it is a few years yet isnt it

Once you have all your incomings sorted why not throw up another SOA? Regarding sky can you cancel or are you tied? Also food wise have you done a stockroom challenge? Is there anyway you can get Overtime, although this could infridge on childcare arangements?

Again Sarah I am so very sorry you are faced with this. Even more so as OH doesnt seem to give a pigs ear about the situation :mad:

Huge hugs to you and C just now :grouphug:

Seaxwyn

Oh Sarah, what a blow! My heart goes out to you.

Would OH's Mum have him back? That sounds like a good solution, in ensuring you get benefits and he gets a wake-up call? And is it nearby so he could look after your son? I really don't think they need to be at nursery at such a young age - though they do of course need a carer that is engaged and awake during the day!

Poor, poor, you, what a difficult situation, I am sure we all wish we could do more to help then just offer sympathy.

*Jellie*

Sarah- I am so sorry to hear that news. Things have been so tough for you already and you've been fighting so hard.
It sounds like you've got some good ideas of how to tackle this and cope with OH as well. It is such as shame that he hasn't sorted himself out over this.
If we can help in any way do let us know. In the meantime I'm thinking of you. Big hugs xxxxxxxx

SarahNeedle1872

Thanks for your comments guys :A

Thankfully we're not tied in with any of our bills atm except the phone/internet, but thats only £20 a month, and better than the £35 combined we were paying!

Re childcare, OH is again the problem - PaP you hit the nail on the head! If I knew I could rely on OH to actually do stuff with DS on a daily basis, then I would take him out of nursery (he'd be able to start at a proper school nursery soon anyway), but I can't, and I don't want DS to suffer.

I'm not sure whether MiL would have OH back! But if it was for the good of her grandson, it may sway her slightly....

I have checked entitledto before without OH, and I would be fine - with a bitt of budgeteering (easy without OH!), I think I could survive quite easily. With him included, I'm not sure, so will check when my brain isn't so fuzzy!

Once I know whats going on I will post another SOA, all this uncertainty is getting to me!

hypno06

Oh sarah, what a blow. I do agree that you need to think of you and DS first, right now - hard though that may be. It doesn't need to be permanent, and no decision needs to be made on the longevity of the situation, but as something that is right for "now" it might have to be done.

That is not just an "ability to claim benefits" thing, by the way.....it is a "have space to yourself and to get on top of things unhindered" thing too. YOUR mental health is vital here as well, remember x

Double_Trouble

So sorry Sarah - but perhaps it is a blessing in disguise as OH will have to get himself together if he wants to be with you and your little one

As Hypno said some space to reassess will be a good thing too

Big hugs to you - at least you know you have support on here and you do have the tools to deal with this and come out on top

DTxx

SarahNeedle1872

Thanks, I hadn't thought of the 'me' aspect of it too... I think I'm quite good at just soldiering on and switching my emotions off

Sx