Its all gone very wrong... but I WILL beat this debt!!!

lilmissmup

Glad to hear that hun! :j

SarahNeedle1872

Well the revolution appears to be continuing into a second day! OH has phoned the Dr again today, although he hasn't been able to get a appt, as the surgery is running on a skeleton crew, so has to call back again tomorrow to get one.
He's also been and registered at another agency.... and has been offered an interview to work at the agency! Lol! He's just gotta wait for a time for the interview
He seems fairly confident that he is going to get work, which is good.... now just have to wait and see what happens! We are quite lucky around here in one respect as there are a lot of people that don't appear to want to work, so there are a few jobs around.... OH has said he will pretty much anything, so thats good
He's also sent his letter ino work again, so will have to wait and see what happens with that too.... I did tell him today that I was proud of him Cheesy but true!

Moneywise, I have had to do a SBT from my Egg to my bank acount, to pay the bills for the rest of the month - I am gutted, but it needs to be done! Its 'only' £600 but that should be enough to cover what is needed. I'll give it a couple of weeks to see what happens with OH at work, then we'll make the budget decisions. OH knows its gonna be tough when he's not working, including no beer and getting rid of Sky, but he's so confident he will get some work that he doesn't seem to bothered by it! Just gotta convince him to give up the fags too and I'm laughing

I have given him £20 to go out tonight, as he's been so good. I know I shouldn't have done, but he's done well over the last couple of days, and knows he won't be going out again until he has a job!

Sx

*Jellie*

Great to hear things have taken a positive turn!
Sounds like OH may have finally had a bit of a lightbulb moment!! I hope he get work soon. x

*Jellie*

Hi Sarah!
How are things with you now? Thinking of you

SarahNeedle1872

Thanks Jellie.... still no progress on the work front, and OH has been in bed all day!! I definately think he's depressed so I have told him that I will make a Dr appt for him and make sure he goes! He is driving me mad just now!! As I have said before, I don't get the whole depression thing, so I'm finding it very difficult to be supportive and no resentful!
For example, today, he tells me he's having a 'bad day' depression wise, and all I can think is 'well I've been at work for 10 hrs and I have come home to all the house work and the xmas decs that you were gonna put in the loft 2 weeks ago!!!' - see how empathetic I am!?! I am trying to change the way I feel, but just now its not working so well

I am seriously thinking about taking DS out of nursery. He is three next month (argh, potty training again!) so will be entitled to some free nursery places soon (note to self, find out what/where etc!) which will save £500 a month, and increase my 'cash' income by £220 (childcare vouchers)... the only problem being that its only 2.5 hr sessions a day, its fine while OH is not working, but if he does get work, I'll be stuck! I can't rely on MiL/FiL every day as he works 4 on, 4 off, and MiL is not always well..... but I also can't afford to pay £500 a month on childcare.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sx

Ooo, just remembered I've got two weeks off work in Feb, prime potty training time

brummiebabe

Hi Sarah - my DD has just started getting the nursery grant (she was 3 in Nov.) You should get it from the start of the Spring Term (which is after Easter.) You get 5 sessions (of 2.5 hours - I think) during school term time. If your son is in a Private nursery - ask them to work out the fees for you - (my nursery will work it so that I pay the same every month, rather than more in the school holidays) She goes 4 days per week, and they just take the 'sessions' off the total cost- it certainly makes budgeting for them much easier!!

Will go back to lurking now.....all the best;)

SarahNeedle1872

Thanks Brummie, I will see if they can do that for us

Sx

*Jellie*

Sorry to hear no news on job front for OH and that he's still struggling. It's very hard on you feeling like you're carrying all the responsibility. No wonder you find it difficult to empathise. Depression is very difficult to understand if you haven't had it I think.

mooomin

Well b*gger me you have a diary!! I had no idea

Now, to stick my tuppence in the pot

SarahNeedle1872 wrote: »

I definately think he's depressed so I have told him that I will make a Dr appt for him and make sure he goes! He is driving me mad just now!! As I have said before, I don't get the whole depression thing, so I'm finding it very difficult to be supportive and no resentful!
For example, today, he tells me he's having a 'bad day' depression wise, and all I can think is 'well I've been at work for 10 hrs and I have come home to all the house work and the xmas decs that you were gonna put in the loft 2 weeks ago!!!

As you'll know from my thread, Mr Fresian has bad depression...but it can be hard to take when you're the one working full time. *hugs*

*Jellie* wrote: »

Depression is very difficult to understand if you haven't had it I think.

I have suffered badly from it in the past, to the point where I left my uni course many moons ago as I couldn't cope with the outside world. Bad times indeed.

You would think this makes me kind and sympathetic. Nope, I still get home from work and think "!!!!!!! I've been up since 6.30am, done a full day of work and now have to do washing, cooking and cleaning and all you've done is BLOODY WELL PLAY CALL OF DUTY ON THE PC ALL DAY". Grrr.....

(I do love him though!)

I hope things get better for you Sarah - I'm subscribing now!

Jo_R_2

I've been having a little thinky about this today actually. I had bad depression a couple of years ago and OH was really good with me - but when he has the blues (not all-out depression but he has bad days) find it very hard to deal with. Crazy and not great on my part given I know where he'll be coming from

The best thing I could do was to explain he needs to tell me how he is feeling, and say that although I care, I find it hard to know how to support him so he needs to tell me. He's pretty good at that so it works well. I do explain to him though that (without pressure) there *are* things I need a hand with, and if he can't help out then some things will just have to give for a while.

The flipside is I know when you're immersed in the darkness that the slightest hint of someone being impatient is enough to set me back completely. I'm not saying your OH is like that but I used to say to OH that he was my shoulder to lean on until I felt strong enough to stand on my own, together.

I don't know if that helps but I'm sure you will make your own way through however fits best for you x