Its all gone very wrong... but I WILL beat this debt!!!

SarahNeedle1872

Hiya, me again!

As the title suggests, its all gone a bit wrong lately... The last few months I have kinda 'let go' and I need to get myself back on track, both MSE-wise and in the home... and to a lesser extent, at work too. Work is just about me being more organised and not letting other people sap my time... Home and MSE is more of a challenge!

I'm not gonna go into loads of history, because for the most part it is irrelevant, and I'm not gonna post links to my last two diaries because, quite frankly, they are rubbish!! What there is to tell is that there are 3 of us in the house.... Me 29, OH 30 (going on 19!) and DS 2 1/2, plus Charlie the 9 yr old Lab. I'm also not gonna post an SOA, because I know where I need to cut back, it's just a case of sorting myself out
And its fair to say that OH is a major contributing factor to the overspending - and he doesn't give two hoots!!

So the wrong-ness of the last few months is basically three things... I have taken my eye right off the ball in terms of the budget and my spending ( I spent £400 in Next in the space of three weeks :mad::eek:), our car was near-death (and was gonna cost over £1k to fix), and I have got lazy in terms of housework, because I spend far far too much time sat in front of the tv/pc!

So my debts are now HUGE, mainly thanks to a £7k loan to buy a newer car.... in hindsight, way more than we needed, but the car will last a long time, and it is safe etc.... no point trying to justify it I know, I guess I got swept along with the idea of having a nice newer car, and OH did nothing to convince me otherwise! No excuse I know!
I am pleased with the car, because we needed a bigger car, that was safe, will be much more reliable, and won't break down every time we do more than 10 miles! But I am bitterly disappointed that we had to get it over 5 yrs so the monthly payments were manageable, so my official DFD is 54 months away:mad::eek::mad:
I have also spent on my Sains card to the tune of about £600.... although most of that was paying off the money I spent in Next :mad: I say I spent it, but actually I spent most of it on OH, which makes it worse because he does not appreciate it at all! He appreciates the new clothes, but not what it does to the DFD etc.... in fact, as I have said before, he thinks that people of our age *should* be in debt!

In terms of the house, as I said, I have just got very lazy... OH has been off work for the last 6 weeks (I'm not getting into that at all, I'm wound up enough as it is!) but has done very little around the house (his lack of work has also not helped our financial situation either! By not working he's approx £350 short a month!)... so I am holding down a full time job, looking after my son, and not getting any 'me' time and coming home to a house that is a tip.... so I am somewhat resentful! And that has lead to me not doing much at all!


And so to the debts... they are as follows:

Loan - £8500 (£7000 7.9% over 60 months)
Sainsburys card - £600 - 15.9%
Virgin - £3732.65 - 0% til May 10 then 16.6%
BT card - £996.90 - 0% til Aug 10 then 15.9%
Egg card - £644.65 - 6.9% til Dec 09 then 17.9

Total of £12, 953.91 This makes me feel physically sick when I write it down, as its the most debt I have ever had EVER! And I am supposed to be sorting this out! It makes me wanna cry!!

EDIT: I do also have an OD of just over £700 that I need to sort out, so my total is actualy closer to £14k than £13k

HairyHandofDartmoor

I definitely feel for you! I know how easy it is to convince yourself you need a newer car (because you do need one) but it's then very depressing when you see what it does to the debt! And I know all too well the temptations of Next. Can I suggest that Tesco mens clothes are pretty good quality and some of them not dissimilar to the much more expensive one in Next!

I don't know what to say about OH. That's a tough one I'm afraid!

As to getting on top of housework, it's easy to let that get on top of you. You'll have better morale in an organised house, but if OH doesn't help than that makes it a bit of a thankless task, doesn't it?

Anyway I know you can improve things as you are an old hand and know what to do, and you sound determined to do it now!

SarahNeedle1872

BUT, whats done is done, its time to move forward and bust this as best I can.... so my basic plan is:

* Pay off the cards as quickly as possible by transferring the Sains balance to the BT card, then PADing and vutting back where possible until they are gone!
* Use my time better at work, by being more productive and not allowing other people to sap my time. Use my diary to plan my day effectively!
* Clean one room a day properly, and tidy any others that need it.
* Keep doing 30 mins of exercise per day!

I do have to point out at this point that my house is not dirty, its just not as clean as I would like it, plus I need to do some decorating too!

Thats kind of it for now really, I've been sitting on this for a couple of weeks and its really been eating me up... so much so that I haven't been posting much at all. But I have a PMA, and I am determind that I will beat this, even if I am now in for the long haul! Just have to survive our holiday without spending loads ( do have some money saved, but not loads) then I'm back heading in the right direction again!:cool:

SarahNeedle1872

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

I definitely feel for you! I know how easy it is to convince yourself you need a newer car (because you do need one) but it's then very depressing when you see what it does to the debt! And I know all too well the temptations of Next. Can I suggest that Tesco mens clothes are pretty good quality and some of them not dissimilar to the much more expensive one in Next!

I don't know what to say about OH. That's a tough one I'm afraid!

As to getting on top of housework, it's easy to let that get on top of you. You'll have better morale in an organised house, but if OH doesn't help than that makes it a bit of a thankless task, doesn't it?

Anyway I know you can improve things as you are an old hand and know what to do, and you sound determined to do it now!

Thanks HHoD I have given up on ever getting OH to want to become debt free, its just not gonna happen... Sadly for me the debt is all in my name, but he pays half the debt payments each month, the same as he does every other bill, on pay day, before he has the chance to spend it! OH's issues stem from the fact that his mother always spends more than she can afford, and that he prioritises his social life and what others think of him over anything else money related!! I don't think I will ever change that fact!

Thanks for the advice about Tesco clothes.... I will certainly take a closer look, not that he actually needs anything any time soon!

Yes the housework is a thankless task, but I see what you're saying about the morale... I just need to boot myself up the arris and I'll be fine!

Thanks for the post

Sx

Seaxwyn

Hello Sarah. Oh I so relate to what you're saying. Debt going up, untidy house, unhelpful OH, disorganised at work, it could be me posting if it weren't for the fact I'm 100 years older than you with four times as many children!

Onward and upward. Or rather onward and downward. We will get there - keep your chin up and let's encourage each other on the looooong march.

kissjenn

It's a long hard slog Sarah and always feels 100 times worse when it feels like you're doing it all.

Keep going, you are getting there because you know exactly where the money went. You just didn't wake up one morning and think the debt pixies had called and not know why they had come to rob you (in my case the debt pixies are Government funded :mad:).

We're all here in this together...and one day his lbm may come.

hypno06

Seaxwyn wrote: »

Onward and upward. Or rather onward and downward. We will get there - keep your chin up and let's encourage each other on the looooong march.

coming home to an untidy house......nope, can't relate to that one at all :rotfl:

Onwards and upwards (or downwards) indeed........we'll all get there. It just isn't easy, is it!

SarahNeedle1872

Thanks guys... I feel bad for moaning about it especially as I have a little debt compared to a lot of people here.... I think I'm just annoyed because I should have been DF by now!! ho hum!

Sx

Keeping_Motivated

Hi Sarah

I've not contributed to any of your threads before I don't think but I have read some.

I just wanted to say that although this thread is about being debt free sometimes we put ourselves under such pressure to be debt free. What I mean is in this day and age it is quite difficult to have absolutley zero debt when you have a family and jobs etc as we usually need a car and alot of need to rent or mortgage.

So in a long winded way I am saying as long as you are spending wisely (getting best deal) and also getting the best rate of credit available to you then maybe it is ok to have car debt?

I know some people will disagree but I kind of accept that I have a mortgage (I get the best deal I can and over pay when I can with no presssure) and I accept that I want a reliable car that I need for work and family (interest free and best deal I could get at the time for the car).

Any other debt I consider to be a burdern ie loans or credit cards for any other expense and I would want that paid off asap but I wouldn't consider the mortgage or car as me being bad with debt if that long waffle that makes any sense at all.

So the car you have is essential in my way of thinking so not bad debt

SarahNeedle1872

Thanks KM, you are so right...
Sadly I don't have a mortgage yet - the whole point of being DF was to save for a deposit for a house! - so obviously I rent. And if it was just me and OH to worry about, the car wouldn't be so much of an issue, but as we have DS, the thought of breaking down somewhere with him and waiting for rescue etc is not nice! Obviously it could still happen, but with a reliable car, it should be a lot less likely!
I always try to get the best deal where possible, use Quidco etc, so I am ok with that... most of my CC debt is 0%, with the Egg at 6.9% so at least I am paying off the capital rather than the interest

Part of my problem is that I am impatient, and wanna be DF yesterday!! So I am going to re-evaluate my budgets to try and ensure the spending spree doesn't happen again...


This morning I have done a BT of £750 to my Sainsburys card, and £750 to my bank account to clear my overdraft... I logged on this morning to check its rates, and the first £250 is int free but after that its 17.9% :mad: so it had to be done! I will have to re-do my snowball now, but I am pleased that I have saved my self a fair amount of interest. Then, I will re-do my sig ready for the new focus.

Thanks again for your support guys

Sx

*Jellie*

Hi Sarah- thanks for pointing me to here as I might have missed this otherwise!

I know how you feel- very difficult when it seems you've worked hard to improve things and then slip back to a worse place. Unfortunately for most of us needing a new car will mean new debt and you've made choices about what you feel is the best car for you. Don't worry about it and just focus on getting back onto living within budget and throwing what you can at the CCs.

I've found it really helpful at this point to focus on decluttering and getting in control of the housework etc. The Flylady thread on OS is a godsend for motivation- I can focus on one room a day and I just do what I can manage. Within a few weeks it has made a huge difference. I feel more in control and more ordered and hopefully I have a better appreciation that most of the time I really don't need to buy more stuff!!

We can do this!!