too afraid to tell hubby

gggareth

looktothefuture wrote: »

I think that this is some really good and constructive advice from this poster - ok so some of it sounds a tad harsh (Sorry Sarah!) but I do think Jordon will take on some of this and use it to help her situation.

Being on this site has taught me to read into a post more than just fire back and (possibly) make things worse! Thanks for this post, I know it'll be helpful once Jordan's husband calms down!

As a man that this has happened to, i thought i would respond.
1, it's happend to me 3 times now the first and second time she fessed up and yes i was pi**ed but we dealt with it.

the 3rd time i found out ( rather that being told) that we ( she) had debts of 14k built up over 10 months.. Guess what .. I was so fed up of chucking bad money at this i walked.Lost all the trust i had in her.. ( the worst thing for me was we earned over 120k PA between us) and it still was not enough...


gg

gargrave50

Morning Jodan, don't lose heart. :hello:

Its difficult making headway in the beginning but the work is worth it in the long run. Make sure that you do a full SOA ensuring that you have budgeted for everything at a realistic amount. You don't want to commit to a DMP and then find you struggle to pay it each month. That way the savings you make on your household expenses can give you a bit of room to put any spare £1 or 1p s into a jar to save towards making full and final offers.:D

Once your SOA is sorted and your DMP is underway, check out requesting CCA's on your older agreements. Any PPI to reclaim? And get your bank charges claim sorted.

There you go - another months work!:D

DreamerHelen

One thing I have found really helpful is to check your Purse at the end of each day and if you have any spare change (whether that be 1p, 2p or 5p) then put it in a Jar...you'll be surprised at how quickly it adds up and how you don't miss it

How are things between you and your Husband today? Has he calmed down a little hun? I'm sure you two can work things out...

BeautyandtheBeast_3

Hi hun, how are you and husband today? xxx

jodan

lennymfo wrote: »

Hi Jo

Ive found this from HMRC. Im sure there is more info about trigger figures but its a start and it gives you an idea of what the government considers acceptable for you to be spending on essentials. http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/manuals/dmbmanual/DMBM800120.htm I'll keep looking for more because I am sure that there is a more comprehensive list. I think in many ways it is easier to get out of debt than to get into it because you see the light and the error of your ways and the light at the end of the tunnel that you see by the help and advice offered on DFW and the debt charities it is a truly enlightening experience.

Many thanks, can ring them again and see if they can help me out, cause stress levels through the roof.Can't understand how they think i'm not struggling when I've been using credit each week to pay creditors. Crazy vicious circle I must get out of._pale_

jodan

gggareth wrote: »

As a man that this has happened to, i thought i would respond.
1, it's happend to me 3 times now the first and second time she fessed up and yes i was pi**ed but we dealt with it.

the 3rd time i found out ( rather that being told) that we ( she) had debts of 14k built up over 10 months.. Guess what .. I was so fed up of chucking bad money at this i walked.Lost all the trust i had in her.. ( the worst thing for me was we earned over 120k PA between us) and it still was not enough...


Can understand how hurt you must feel, just hope hubby loves me enough to stay. Hope life is treating you better now.:embarasse:embarasse

jodan

DreamerHelen wrote: »

One thing I have found really helpful is to check your Purse at the end of each day and if you have any spare change (whether that be 1p, 2p or 5p) then put it in a Jar...you'll be surprised at how quickly it adds up and how you don't miss it

How are things between you and your Husband today? Has he calmed down a little hun? I'm sure you two can work things out...

Surprisingly, he has calmed down. Still not 100%obviously but as people have said on here he's gonna need time and space. Luckily up to now, he seems to have enough space at home with me

jodan

lennymfo wrote: »

Hi Jo

Ive found this from HMRC. Im sure there is more info about trigger figures but its a start and it gives you an idea of what the government considers acceptable for you to be spending on essentials. http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/manuals/dmbmanual/DMBM800120.htm I'll keep looking for more because I am sure that there is a more comprehensive list. I think in many ways it is easier to get out of debt than to get into it because you see the light and the error of your ways and the light at the end of the tunnel that you see by the help and advice offered on DFW and the debt charities it is a truly enlightening experience.

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1147
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1300
Benefits................................ 132child benefit and child tax credit
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2579

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 536
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 90
Electricity............................. 66 changing to another provider
Gas..................................... 55 will be £19 a month cheaper
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 19.1
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 70 2 phones on contract till Dec
TV Licence.............................. 11.95
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 30 reduced yesterday from £55.75
Internet Services....................... 15
Groceries etc. ......................... 240 will try to reduce from this week
Clothing................................ 20
Petrol/diesel........................... 40
Road tax................................ 11
Car Insurance........................... 30
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 10
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 14
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 8
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 18
Contents insurance...................... 12
Life assurance ......................... 39
Other insurance......................... 39
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 40
Haircuts................................ 12
Entertainment........................... 10
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 10
Total monthly expenses.................. 1461.05

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 70000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 4500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 74500

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 41000....(536)......4.99
Total secured & HP debts...... 41000.....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
mbna...........................7100......220.......26.9
capital one....................2100......51........22.9
barclaycard....................550.......13........26.9
smile..........................4000......96........9.9
abbey..........................1200......20........9.9
laredoute......................280.......13........16.9
grattan........................880.......81........29.9
littlewoods....................730.......55........29.9
barclays.......................9500......250.6.....22.9
Total unsecured debts..........26340.....799.6.....-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,579
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,461.05
Available for debt repayments........... 1,117.95
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 799.6
Amount left after debt repayments....... 318.35

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 74,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -41,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -26,340
Net Assets.............................. 7,160

As you can see there is surplus each month but this is hubby's money not mine, my half of expenses is £700 and my debts are £800. My earnings are only £1147, so this leaves me £350 short per month:eek: This is why payplan and cccs say I don't need help, but obviously i do.

GeorgeUK

Those are some very nasty interest rates there.

If possible, talk to hubby about getting a new credit card that is doing a 0% promotional offer. Hopefully you can get a decent balance to transfer some of the high APR debt and clear a card, then you may be able to get a balance transfer offer with that cleared card to clear another one etc.

Have any of the cards you had been offerring a low interest for life of balance (LOB) transfer?

I realise this still leaves you short for payments, but the LOB minimum payments are usually lower than the usual 3% that other cards require. The Virgin Credit Card is offerring 0% for 16 months and 1% minimum monthly payment - i know you have an MBNA card, but if hubby doesn't, you may be able to use this.

Does the above take into account hubby's debts or cards too?

Not sure if you have thought about changing the mortgage to interest only if it isn't so already - this may allow you to throw more at the debts for a few months and possibly clear one of the cards.

hettiecarro

Hi Jo

Try doing an online 'Debt remedy' with CCCS putting only your debt and your income into it.
The amounts that you pay jointly -mortgage for example can be halved and you post your half. That way the result you get will be how YOU manage your debt.
The first question is 'Is this debt yours or joint' - answer 'yours'.
See what they then come back with. When I did mine they said they had based my 'solution' purely on me.

Hope you are feeling a little better and that hubbie is there for you.

Lots of hugs xx