too afraid to tell hubby

jodan

Hi.
I,ve been sat here watching people placing threads and finally after 3 & 1/2 hours I,ve plucked up courage to post my own. All the debt is my own and am at the stage where I,m going to have to tell my husband. I have been in debt before and we had to downsize our home to pay off the debt,am afraid that when i break the news i may lose him. Have been burying head in sand and using credit to live on and now am at limit with them all. Feel i may need help and support if things go the way I think they will. Guilt is crippling as hubby is probably better than i deserve.
Hubby pays bulk of mortgage and other bills so we pay roughly same amount each per month. He earns approx the same as me but as no debts.
I've written to creditors with offers of payment so know i need to tell him before calls start coming in from them.
Will prob have made a pig's ear of this cause i'm totally computer illiterate, but any advice would be welcome.

Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 0
Monthly Income Details[/b]
Monthly income after tax................ 1147
Partners monthly income after tax.......
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 125
Total monthly income.................... 1272
Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 200
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 90
Electricity............................. 51
Gas..................................... 70
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 19.1
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 30
TV Licence.............................. 11.95
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 55
Internet Services....................... 20
Groceries etc. ......................... 240
Clothing................................ 10
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 40
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 40
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 8
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 23.02
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 40
Haircuts................................ 8
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 956.07
Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 70000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 70000
Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 41000....(200)......4.99
Total secured & HP debts...... 41000.....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
credit card....................7100......220.......29.1
credit card....................2100......51........22.6
credit card....................550.......13........29.9
overdraft......................1200......20........0
catalogue......................280.......13........0
catalogue......................830.......80........0
catalogue......................770.......55........0
loan...........................9000......260.5.....26.6
Total unsecured debts..........21830.....

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,272
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 956.07
Available for debt repayments........... 315.93
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 712.5
Amount short for making debt repayments. -396.57
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 70,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -41,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -21,830
Net Assets.............................. 7,170

:embarasse:embarasse:embarasse

Itsarandom

Hey there!


Not much I can other than bump your thread for help and its very hard to post your SOA for the first time. However people on these forums are the masters of debt-busting and will help you out!

Quick thing I will ask:

Are those figures for bills (groceries, gas + electric) the total bills, or your half?

grahamlaw

If your husband has no debts then you need tell him. Then you can put the incomes together and write another SOA. You did say he will probably find out. Sorry I know that's not what you wanted to hear.

kerry13238

you should be able to get some help from tax credits or council tax help try entitled to it will tell you if your entitled to any help good luck

jodan

I pay for those bills and hubby pays for things like life insurance, rest of mortgage, entertainment, landline bill. it works out we pay roughly the same each month. Mortgage was high, eventhough we downsized hubby kept term of mortgage same as he didn't want pay longer than we'd planned.

jodan

I know but still scared, can't remember last time I slept. Don't think he'll bail me out this time though.

MrMuttley

Hi jodan

You say you've got into debt trouble before. As well as telling your husband (better you tell him than he find out) you need to look at how you got into this position again.

Too much shopping? if so is there stuff you can sell?

Addiction to gambling alcohol or drugs. If so you need to consider getting help for that as well else you'll carry on on the circle.

Just plain old fashioned finacial mismanagement. Maybe consider handing the purse strings over to your husband. and get him to give you "pocket money"

These are just a few ideas. But as always well done for making the first step.

jodan

Big thanks, think I just live beyond my means. Think that could be the answer, will probably hate having pocket money but he is good with money and I want to get out this mess.

sunshinejoclaire

kerry13238 wrote: »

you should be able to get some help from tax credits or council tax help try entitled to it will tell you if your entitled to any help good luck

I doubt it - remember this SOA is only half the story as her husband also earns that amount!

Jodan I have no advice - just a friendly hug!

KiKi

jodan wrote: »

I pay for those bills and hubby pays for things like life insurance, rest of mortgage, entertainment, landline bill. it works out we pay roughly the same each month. Mortgage was high, eventhough we downsized hubby kept term of mortgage same as he didn't want pay longer than we'd planned.

Hi Jodan

Well done for posting.

It may be the case that hubby pays for the rest, but you need to look at your finances together so that you can get the bills down - whether they are 'his' or 'yours'.

Eg, you pay £100 on your mobile, satellite and internet. And hubby pays the landline, too. That's a HUGE amount! If you get a package of all those you can get it down by half, very easily.

It also means that hubby's entertainment bill must be high if your total bill amounts are similar.

Your gas and elec are VERY high - you can cut these by half. Go to www.moneysupermarket.com to compare companies and change.

It might be easier to break this news to your other half if you can show him that you already have a plan to cut the bills. Think through what you can do for each item (yours and his) and do some research of how you can start to make inroads to that debt. Also have some suggestions to talk through about how you're going to start confronting the issue you have with overspending on loans, catalogues and credit cards. Chances are he already knows, deep down. You need to show that you're being proactive in addressing this, and you might need to be prepared (as another poster suggested) to hand over at least some of the financial control to him.

I hope this helps - do keep posting as keeping in touch and getting more hints and tips I'm sure will help you out.

Cheers
KiKi

jodan

Thanks for your post, gas and electric just gone up by £51 a month, so gonna tackle that tomoz by changing supplier. Hope I'll still have hubbyto discuss phone bills with. Will keep you posted.