too afraid to tell hubby

looktothefuture

jodan wrote: »

wow, certainly wasn't expecting that gut punch but know i deserve it. Am doing best to stay positive at the minute and trying to work out which is best route to take. Can anyone advise me about ivas, the information online is scrambling my brain. not heard back off any creditors about offers but only been a week.
Big thanks to everyone for the support so far. Will make sure I keep posting to let you know how it's going.
BTW - hubby is speaking, but keeps going into shock. Says he gonna stand by me but to remember it's my debt not his. Can handle this with his and your support. Lots of love and big hugs to you all. X

Big hug to you sweetheart!

You CAN do this!

crin

Well done to you for posting. It is hard to actually list and look at how much in debt you are but it will get easier.

I am sure your other half will be OK about helping you out and probably tell you how daft you have been for keeping things to yourself so so long.

i have written to creditors and worked out reduced repayments for several people in the past including myself.

The creditors have probably only advanced you the limits you have because you own your own home.

Council tax debt really needs to be addressed urgently as they take you to court quickly for none payment so please don't leave that payment out at any time.

I can see you have already received much good advice and hope that with your other halfs help you will get through this and your relationship will be strengthened by the experience.

Good luck and try not to let the situation get you down too much.

jodan

Started the ball rolling. Spoke to Payplan earlier who told me that due to mine and hubby's income they don't feel I need an IVA or dmp as not a debt problem. £21,000 debt and they said to continue doing what I'm doing by writing to creditors and that should be enough.
So then did a soa with cccs who said i do have a debt problem and they reckon that with a dmp i can afford approx £670per month. I don't have that much to spare or else I'd be paying it to creditors.:mad: Gonna do another soa with hubby's income and outgoings on here, see if anyone can help.
Have reduced sky bill to basic for time being and hubby going to see about a freeview box.
Gas and electric - still trying to figure out my options.
Mobile phone - They say I'm tied into contract till December.
Oh well back to trawling round the site for more ideas!
Big ta again 4 all your suggestions to date.
:kisses:

SuzySu

Just a thought - even though you are tied into a contract until December, can you ask to switch to a lower tariff for the time being?

jo41

Hi Jodan,
I've been following your thread and like others on here have been in the same boat as you. I would hide letters and even avoid going out until the postman had been and dread returning from holidays etc.:o
My OH was quite harsh with me as it had happened a few times and the sympathy wore off.
Three years ago we had a brief split and I once again ended up with a lot of debt. This time I knew I couldn't burden him with it so I have dealt with it alone. He knew about it as I didn't keep it secret and he has helped me every now and then. A year ago I discovered this site and I can honestly say I haven't looked back.
I have managed to clear a loan and three credit cards plus a store card, a catalogue and DFS!....and I still have a life;)
I no longer dread the phone ringing or the post arriving and I love debt busting.
I have made a payment a day for the last 364 days and I'll tell you it works.
Have a look at payment a day part 4.
We're all rooting for you and you will work it out. Keep your chin up and sorry for such a long post!
Jo x

jodan

never thought of that, will ring them back and find out. Thanks

Keeping_Motivated

If you've got a sky box you don't need to buy a freeview box as you get all the free channel on sky still after you have cancelled I think, someone else will probably clairify if I am right on that.

Good luck with everything

DreamerHelen

I just had a thought - Can you contact someone like Virgin Media? They do a combined TV, Phone and Broadband Package, perhaps if I tell you what I have it might give you an idea of Costs - Btw, please bear in mind that I work from home and my Broadband, TV and Phone are my Life!! LoL.

I have:

The XL TV/Cable Package (You could have the Minimum one here, I have the largest!!)
Phone Package - Which gives me unlimited Landline calls 24/7
- International Numbers at a reduced cost
Broadband Large - There is a MUCH cheaper package for this!!

And all of that costs me £60 per month and takes care of everything (including Calls) - I know that's an awful lot of money for you, but if you get the Minimum Packages, I have found Virgin Media to be fantastic...

Just a thought!!

Also - Anything in your house that you can Ebay? You'll be surprised what sort of rubbish people will buy LoL (not that I'm saying you have rubbish things of course!!).

We're all here for you hun...you CAN do it!!!

dancingfairy

Right well Payplan have obviously looked at the joint situation but you have already seen that OH sees it as your debt and you are to pay it off so can't they just take your incomings and outgoings into consideration?
Not sure where CCCS have got there figure from to be honest - how did they arrrive at that figure?
From your SOA you appear to have about 300 ish pounds to split between creditors - perhaps a little more with savings to be made.
Do remember though to although be shopping around for absolutely everything to give yourself a little wriggle room in your SOA - so if you spend a little more one week on your food for example you don't reach straight for the credit card - the co's would rather have a consistent amount than for you to leave yourself short and get in a worse mess. Anything you can save from your base amount can be a little emergency fund or you can save up to offer full and final settlements etc.
df

DreamerHelen

I would also recommend using the Tesco Delivery Service for Food Shopping - Make a List before you go Online and that way it stops Impulse Buying instore...and if you are prepared to wait for just a couple of days then you get delivery as cheap as £3 (doesn't seem to matter how much you spend!!).

That should save you money on Petrol Costs and also, as I said, impulse buying in store - The amount of times I have gone to Tesco's and walked around just throwing things in my Basket, things that I don't need and that I forget about if I'm doing it online!!

Good Luck and Go For It!!