too afraid to tell hubby

euronorris

Well done Jodan. I know how difficult and scary it must have been to tell him. It took a lot of courage, but you did it!

As the other's have said before me, he will calm down. If he's thinking about the xmas pressies etc, then it hasn't entered his head to leave you. But, he does need to get it out of his system and be allowed to work through his feelings.

So give him time, and take it on the chin for a little while. All the time showing him the positive changes you are making to resolve the issue and change your overspending habits. He'll soon get on board with it all.

Good luck and big hugs! xx

TCM_3

Hey Honey, didn't want to just read and run
Well done for telling your husband. Its a very courageous step to have taken but a very important one. if he's anything like mine, he has reacted with an explosion but when he has calmed down and if the two of you can find a solution together I'm sure it will be ok. We all make mistakes. I have yet to meet the person who hasn't!

I hope all works out for you, I'm sure it will. Good luck - the folks on here are wonderful and will help.
T xx

DreamerHelen

As everyone else has said - Well done for telling your Husband, I know he must be very angry but I'm sure he will calm down. I know it's not the same but I told my Mum (when I was living with her) how I had let things get out of control and that was why she was getting all the phone calls, she ranted and raved but at the end of the day she stood by me...and I'm sure your Husband will too.

I don't have much to add, just to let you know that we're all here for you and that I've suscribed to your Thread so I'll keep an eye out for how you're doing and if I can help then I will do.

Also, suscribe to your local Freecycle Group and keep an eye out - There might be some things on there that you can get (for free!!) for Christmas Pressies...and, if worst comes to the worst, I used to make things for Pressies - I used to make things like cookies, cakes and coconut ice which work out much cheaper and people seem to appreciate them more!!

Please stick with it...it'll be worth it when you pay off that very last Debt and you and your Husband are stronger than ever for it!!

dizzytina

Hi Jordan,
Well done for taking the first step and a big hun from everyone here:grouphug:. I only joined this forum a few weeks ago but i have already learnt what a massively supportive group it is.

Kiki has given you some really good advice. You are right that he is going to be annoyed and mad but if you can show him that you have sat down and worked out a plan of how to budget and how you can save some money he is likely to be more willing to try and help. Do you use Ebay?. If so i would try and look round the house for things you no longer use (or bought and have never used in my case!) and list them on ebay. You can then show you have already made some steps into making some extra money to pay off things. Also mystery shopping can be a good way of adding some extra money. There is a link under upping your income group. i'm sure the last thing your hubby wants to see is you going through it alone but i think he will need some assurance that it is something you will make a determined effort to battle this time. You are in the right place and we will help as much as we can xx

sarahs999

Well done for telling him. But I think there will be a huge trust issue for him from now on - how can he ever trust you again not to do this? You really have to find a way to show that you are not only tackling the debt situation, but your own head too. You have an addiction that is very damaging - spending money you don't have. You've allowed it to come to the point of breaking your marriage. You need to sit down and work out why you spend like this and then realise that 'stuff' doesn't make you happy.

Telling him he can give you pocket money and you'll hand all the finances over to him may soothe him, but I can tell you from the point of view of someone who has been the pocket-money-giver, you never really recover your respect for that person while you're being the 'parent' to them. In the long term you need to show that you can be responsible about finanaces and not expect him to shoulder everything. Particularly when he is going to be working extremely hard to pay off your debt, presumably....

looktothefuture

sarahs999 wrote: »

Well done for telling him. But I think there will be a huge trust issue for him from now on - how can he ever trust you again not to do this? You really have to find a way to show that you are not only tackling the debt situation, but your own head too. You have an addiction that is very damaging - spending money you don't have. You've allowed it to come to the point of breaking your marriage. You need to sit down and work out why you spend like this and then realise that 'stuff' doesn't make you happy.

Telling him he can give you pocket money and you'll hand all the finances over to him may soothe him, but I can tell you from the point of view of someone who has been the pocket-money-giver, you never really recover your respect for that person while you're being the 'parent' to them. In the long term you need to show that you can be responsible about finanaces and not expect him to shoulder everything. Particularly when he is going to be working extremely hard to pay off your debt, presumably....

I think that this is some really good and constructive advice from this poster - ok so some of it sounds a tad harsh (Sorry Sarah!) but I do think Jordon will take on some of this and use it to help her situation.

Being on this site has taught me to read into a post more than just fire back and (possibly) make things worse! Thanks for this post, I know it'll be helpful once Jordan's husband calms down!

BeautyandtheBeast_3

hi just wondered how you were doing

myothercarisaferrari

Hi Jodan

Well done for telling OH. My OH is furious with me at the moment as we spent Tues and Weds hiding from a bailiff:rolleyes:

it does get better x

hettiecarro

Hi

Nothing to add - just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

How is OH today? and HOW ARE YOU?

SuzySu

Hi Jodan and well done on getting this far.

You obviously have a lot of guts and I'm sure when he calms down he will see that too. The fact that you have posted here shows that you are serious about solving your debt problems and not just saying to him "I'm in a mess - what do I do?" You are being proactive and trying to bring some solutions to the table and you can only be commended for that.

Stick around - this is a great forum (my fave actually!!) and you will get a lot of useful advice.