How do I broach bill-splitting when dining out with friends?

kettlefish

Wow, it sounds like I've been pretty lucky with all the people I've come across. When I was a Saturday girl in the chemists' locally, I was invited to a work meal which I went along to. I had a main course only, and was only 16 at the time and hadn't yet acquired a taste for alcohol, so my food came to about £10. When the bill came, it was divvied up between all of us, but my lovely boss remembered me at the last minute and just asked me to leave £5 for the tip!

Only bad experience was with a 'friend' who was always a bit of a sponger... I've always used vouchers and coupons, and whenever I had a BOGOF offer she'd have the freebie and say 'Well it hasn't cost you anything' - nowadays I've much better friends and we always pay half - they're not as MSE as me and would normally pay full price, so it works well all round!

ithinkyourcrazy

Loving this thread.
I have never ever had this trouble. We always pay for what we have had. One of us will work it all out at the end (usually me).
Sometimes if me and my friend just go out for a meal just the two of us we split it in half as me mostly have the same thing.
One time i went out with two friends who at the time had more money than i did. i ordered a started that cost me £2,95 that is all i paid. i didn't feel bad, as they were both having £15 pizza's and jugs of booze.
If we ever go out for a big meal 8-10 people and spliting the bill by 10, i will put more in if i have had a more expensive meal. I won't ever play for someone else and don't want anyone else to pay for me!
I think will should all just pay for what we have, if it causes arguements then they can't be that good freinds in the first place

dixie_dean_2

That's one way of doing things and it works for you so that's cool. I think a lot of people think it's too much effort over a few pence or quid but it all depends how much money you have, and, more importantly, your attitude to it.

talulahbeige_2

PasturesNew wrote: »

What annoys me in these situations is when you've sat and had just the main meal and a jug of water ... while everybody else ordered starters, wine, king prawn everything plus extras they never ate, more wine, coffee, couple of brandies .... then when you point out you spent £8 so here's £10 ... they make out YOU are being tight, or unfair. It's the greedy !!!!!!!!!!s that are the tight/unfair ones.

We need a phrase that says "It's FAIR that we all pay for what we had - so the freeloading b4stards among us don't get a chance to ponce by bullying others to pay for it ... "

This reminds me of some freinds of mine.
When they were saving to buy their house they insisted that they only paid for what they had had. Fair enough, i'm in this situation now and fully appreciate the need to save money.
However, now they have more disposable income whenever we go out you can gaurantee that they will drink the lions share of alcohol, have the expenisve starters, mains and desserts and then have a coffee afterwards and insist that we all split the bill equally. I tell them i am paying for what i had. they don't like it because they are left with a hefty bill. Its waht you get for being greedy!

System

My OH and i always add up exactly how much ours comes to and throw in a quid or two extra for a tip. I would never split it equally unless it was in actual fact equal (which it rarely is). Try and agree beforehand how you will be paying it.

MrsE_2

talulahbeige wrote: »

This reminds me of some freinds of mine.
When they were saving to buy their house they insisted that they only paid for what they had had. Fair enough, i'm in this situation now and fully appreciate the need to save money.
However, now they have more disposable income whenever we go out you can gaurantee that they will drink the lions share of alcohol, have the expenisve starters, mains and desserts and then have a coffee afterwards and insist that we all split the bill equally. I tell them i am paying for what i had. they don't like it because they are left with a hefty bill. Its waht you get for being greedy!

They can't insist that, you are only obliged to pay for what you ate & drank surely?

tara747

talulahbeige wrote: »

This reminds me of some freinds of mine.
When they were saving to buy their house they insisted that they only paid for what they had had. Fair enough, i'm in this situation now and fully appreciate the need to save money.
However, now they have more disposable income whenever we go out you can gaurantee that they will drink the lions share of alcohol, have the expenisve starters, mains and desserts and then have a coffee afterwards and insist that we all split the bill equally. I tell them i am paying for what i had. they don't like it because they are left with a hefty bill. Its waht you get for being greedy!

Sounds awful!!!!

ALIBOBSY

Can be a bit of a sticky subject. When going out from work we mostly did set menu lunches and paid for drinks at the bar as we went along with only a couple of bottles of wine between us on the food bill, this makes an easy split. Mind you I once only had my card on me and not enough cash, so I offered to pay the bill and people could just give me what they had had. Don't know if people thought I didn't have much cash (was just 19 and the office junior) or were rounding up alot, but even allowing 10% for a tip I only had to pay £2 for my meal lol. I offered to do a resplit at work but they all just laughed and told me to buy a treat for me.
OH stopped going out with the whole group at work because of one manager doing the whole eat/drink loads then offer to split. The rest of them are married with kids and need to watch the pennies, she was childless and her hubby had a good living so cash was nothing to her.
When going out with one or 2 friends OH and I have either split or done the "I pay this month, you pay next/you get this round I get next".

ali x

*Louise*

Reading this thread, it's the sheer brass neck of some people that amazes me.

ALIBOBSY

Just remembered my mum lost a friend of over 50 years because of this type of arguement.

She always knew her friend and especially her friends hubby were tight, indeed it was a bit of a running joke between the families-he once served BBQ food that he had dropped on the grass in front of everyone and we had to pick the grass out (I kid you not), but it was seen as a bit of a joke and they used to do evenings in at each others houses to avoid the bill paying issues.

Mums friend and her OH used to live nearby but because of work had to move accross the country, but they used to exchange Ccards Bcards and phone calls with the occasional visit.
My little sister invited them over for a meal at a restaraunt with 2 other couples mum and dad are friendly with for a treat for mums 60th birthday. We couldn't go but went out earlier in the week with M&D and our 3 kids.

It was a set menu so all fine with the food. They all bought drinks at the bar, but then all ordered drinks at the table. At the end of the evening one of the other guys suggested as it was mums treat that they all paid their share and split mum and dads between them. Dad said it was his treat and he would pay for everyone, but was shouted down.

The hubby of mums friend stood up in a huff and practically dragged my sister (half his age and half his height) away from the table. He was very agressive and in fact poked my sister as he repeatedly made his point, you said it was a set menu I'm not paying any extra. My father had to be restrained at this point, he didn't give a stuff about the money but he can't stand bullies and is very protective about both of us.

Any how the friends threw the cash for the meal on the table and stormed off, despite the fact they had extra drinks and it was their oldest friends party.

My mum went home and opened her presents and her "friend of 50 years" had got her a small cheap photo album (£1 in a £ shop if that) with one photo of the 2 of them cellotaped into it and one of those coin tokens for shopping trollies.

My mum sent an email a few weeks later to ask if it could all be put behind them as they had been friends for so long, she wanted to put it down as a missunderstanding and forget the whole thing. They got a letter back with a weird poem thing about friends not being real friends and the whole evening etc.

Dad wrote a funny poem back pointing out how silly the whole thing was and pointing out the drinks at the table weren't paid for (perhaps not the best idea lol).

They got short letter back with a cheque for a small amount to cover the drinks (wasn't enough to cover it but I suppose they saw it as a gesture). Think Dad returned it torn up.

So sad losing friends over that, it would have been understandable if they had no cash, but they spent all evening going on about their investments and fancy holidays, it wasn't even my sisters fault, so why couldn't he just say no lets pay for ourselves at the table.

Best to be honest up front OP.

ali x