How do I broach bill-splitting when dining out with friends?

flowerscotland

When my friends and I go out for dinner we always just split the bill between how many of us there are. If one of us were driving, offering lifts and not drinking, they would pay less.

If someone was taking the mickey and ordering cocktails left right and centre I wouldn't be slow in telling them, and neither would any of my friends be slow in telling me

Queen-Bee_2

Originally Posted by dixie dean
The answer to this is so incredibly easy. If you can afford it then order whatever you want, drink wahtever you want and the split the bill equally. Unless you go for a REALLY expensive meal you're generally talking a few quid. Get over it. If someone doesn't drink at all then...in fact, I can't even be arsed. This is a dull thread getting duller. For people who have an issue they need to find a way to resolve it that makes them happy. The second post hit the nail on the head so I'll shut up.

Dear Dixiedean - I think my original query was perfectly valid and there have been a number of suggestions from other posters that I find very useful.

Have to say that I don't quite understand the tone of your posting - and if the thread isn't interesting to you then I suggest you focus your attention elsewhere.

It's noteworthy that, as the thread has now run to six pages and the only post from me was the one that started it, it must be quite a common problem.

Thanks to everyone else for their suggestions - I think that the best way for me to deal with it is to say something casually up front as I browse the menu... Otherwise, there are some fab special offers around such as the Pizza Express glass of wine, starter & main course for a tenner meal. Just needs a bit of forward thinking and not being so shy I don't say anything till the bill turns up, and then being so embarrassed that I still say nothing!

red_devil

my parents used to go out with 2 couples when i was younger for meals on birthdays etc. One of the couples had much more money but used to look down on the others and say cant you afford it if they complained?

alm721

The worst time this happened to me was with oh family. We suggested we all went out for a meal together as other relatives were stayingover (big mistake). My sil ordered a 3 course meal for her and her 3 kids, the kids were not allowed 'childrens' portions as her kids' always have adults portions' they are(which 2 of them hardly touched as they were full from the starter), she then ordered them all desserts (which were also left) as well as putting all drinks etc on the bill. I thought this was really extravagant of her as I knew they were finding money a bit tight ( to say nothing of the stupidity with the kids meals) however, when it came to paying I found out why she was so extravagant, she never intended paying anything, she thought that because we had suggested us all going out that we would pay for her and the 3 kids along with all the rest of the family! I was livid, not least becase she wasted so much food because she thought someone else was paying!:mad:

MrsE_2

alm721 wrote: »

The worst time this happened to me was with oh family. We suggested we all went out for a meal together as other relatives were stayingover (big mistake). My sil ordered a 3 course meal for her and her 3 kids, the kids were not allowed 'childrens' portions as her kids' always have adults portions' they are(which 2 of them hardly touched as they were full from the starter), she then ordered them all desserts (which were also left) as well as putting all drinks etc on the bill. I thought this was really extravagant of her as I knew they were finding money a bit tight ( to say nothing of the stupidity with the kids meals) however, when it came to paying I found out why she was so extravagant, she never intended paying anything, she thought that because we had suggested us all going out that we would pay for her and the 3 kids along with all the rest of the family! I was livid, not least becase she wasted so much food because she thought someone else was paying!:mad:

But did she have to pay:D

alm721

In a way, she didn't on the night, she just walked away when my hubby went to the bar to get the bill, we did eventually get some money from her but she cetainly wasnt offering any and would have avoided it completely given half the chance, honestly with family like that I just don't get it,

dixie_dean_2

Queen-Bee wrote: »

Originally Posted by dixie dean
The answer to this is so incredibly easy. If you can afford it then order whatever you want, drink wahtever you want and the split the bill equally. Unless you go for a REALLY expensive meal you're generally talking a few quid. Get over it. If someone doesn't drink at all then...in fact, I can't even be arsed. This is a dull thread getting duller. For people who have an issue they need to find a way to resolve it that makes them happy. The second post hit the nail on the head so I'll shut up.

Dear Dixiedean - I think my original query was perfectly valid and there have been a number of suggestions from other posters that I find very useful.

Have to say that I don't quite understand the tone of your posting - and if the thread isn't interesting to you then I suggest you focus your attention elsewhere.

It's noteworthy that, as the thread has now run to six pages and the only post from me was the one that started it, it must be quite a common problem.

Thanks to everyone else for their suggestions - I think that the best way for me to deal with it is to say something casually up front as I browse the menu... Otherwise, there are some fab special offers around such as the Pizza Express glass of wine, starter & main course for a tenner meal. Just needs a bit of forward thinking and not being so shy I don't say anything till the bill turns up, and then being so embarrassed that I still say nothing!

I think what I have said has been very misinterpretted. What I meant, more, was that I was getting bored with my own answer. It's a perfectly valid problem and one pretty much all of us can relate to. What I said was "For people who have an issue they need to find a way to resolve it that makes them happy. The second post hit the nail on the head so I'll shut up." I think the 2nd post summed it up really well. If they are close friends the best thing to do is mention it at the start. Say that you're really skint, you wouldn't nornmally bother but you can't afford 3 courses and drinks so is it ok if you just pay for your own. Any sort of friend would think that is perfectly fine.

As this thread has shown, for a lot of people it isn't an issue. For those that it is, they need to find a solution they are happy with, ideally one that doesn't involve you never going out with friends.

What I dislike about a lot of threads on here is that people use another person's question to say something unrelated and this is, VERY slightly, what was happening here. You asked for a solution to a problem IIRC and it was given. Lots of other people then went on to say what they do, experiences they've had and lots of other things that weren't DIRECTLY relevant to your post. On this thread it has all been fairly relevant and I accept that a question can be to open a general discussion, rather than just a simple request. However often you get "Can someone tell me about A" and then, "Well, I don't know about A but B and C are great".

galvanizersbaby

[QUOTE=dixie dean;
What I dislike about a lot of threads on here is that people use another person's question to say something unrelated and this is, VERY slightly, what was happening here. You asked for a solution to a problem IIRC and it was given. Lots of other people then went on to say what they do, experiences they've had and lots of other things that weren't DIRECTLY relevant to your post. On this thread it has all been fairly relevant and I accept that a question can be to open a general discussion, rather than just a simple request. However often you get "Can someone tell me about A" and then, "Well, I don't know about A but B and C are great".[/QUOTE]

I agree -a lot of threads go off topic and are open to discussion - some I find interesting and some I don't.
Generally I will only post if I find the resulting discussion interesting so that may be the way forward for you?

Re the tone of your original post below being misinterpreted - you have to admit it was a tad negative and sarcastic and a bit rude to others that were contributing to the thread!

"The answer to this is so incredibly easy. If you can afford it then order whatever you want, drink wahtever you want and the split the bill equally. Unless you go for a REALLY expensive meal you're generally talking a few quid. Get over it. If someone doesn't drink at all then...in fact, I can't even be arsed. This is a dull thread getting duller. For people who have an issue they need to find a way to resolve it that makes them happy. The second post hit the nail on the head so I'll shut up."

dixie_dean_2

Lets stay on topic please.

galvanizersbaby

dixie_dean wrote: »

Lets stay on topic please.

:rotfl:Whatever you say Dixie - we must obey - don't want you getting bored