help with live in mother

Paparika

ok film mother being the battleaxe, then tell the family it's their turn to look after her, when mother kicks off about you.. show the familiy the video

BitterAndTwisted

mortgagefreeby_2023 wrote: »

I have just been in to see her and told her to find somewhere else to live. She started to be abusive and I said that if she dared to ever talk to me like that I would ask her to leave immediately. She became meeker at this point. I am so angry I am shaking.

GOOD FOR YOU!

Now, do not relent. Give her a deadline and start helping her pack

UKTigerlily

Well, it's your house, you & your Hubby have worked hard to get it, she has no reason to not work & to not pay her way & clean up & do an equal share of the housework. Sorry but i'd tell her right up, from tomorrow she does a third of the housework, gets a job & cleans up her own mess, or by next week she's out! Love the filming idea too!

Zazen999

mortgagefreeby_2023 wrote: »

I have just been in to see her and told her to find somewhere else to live. She started to be abusive and I said that if she dared to ever talk to me like that I would ask her to leave immediately. She became meeker at this point. I am so angry I am shaking.

Nice one. Now, don't back down - it's out there so stick to it. Give her an ultimatum date and make sure it happens. And have a cuppa, relax and stop flippin' cleaning up after her. Make the next tidy up the one after she has moved out.

And get some boxes next time you are out shopping; I'd make a special trip tomorrow to get some groceries if I were you, and pick up as many boxes as you can for her.

UKTigerlily

well done!

mortgagefreeby_2023

UKTigerlily wrote: »

Well, it's your house, you & your Hubby have worked hard to get it, she has no reason to not work & to not pay her way & clean up & do an equal share of the housework. Sorry but i'd tell her right up, from tomorrow she does a third of the housework, gets a job & cleans up her own mess, or by next week she's out! Love the filming idea too!

She is going to have to move out, I really cant take anymore. She has drained the life out of me over the last 3 years and I really just want her to go. She has not worked for ten years because of her health problems. She is used to being "dependent" and feels, in some strange way that she is entitled to it, like the world owes her a living.

lolababy

Your mother sounds a nightmare. Stick to your guns on her finding somewhere else to live.
Id be packing her cases for her and ringing around housing associations .

BitterAndTwisted

Mortgagefreebabe, you have made the right decision. Given her current health-issues it's only a matter of time until she needs a huge amount of personal care. Imagine what it would be like to have a petulant, foul-mouthed bully of a bed-bound walrus making unreasonable demands 24/7.

Now's the time to fantasise about what bliss family life is going to be with just you, your mate and your children in the home. Make plans to throw a party!

carefullycautious

I dont think any amount of potential inheritence is worth what you are going through. Have you thought about contacting the elderly mental health team for advise re her condition. If she smokes as much as you say she does and has breathing problems it may be she has some dementia due to hardening of the arteries. You could also get them on board to assess her for supportive accommodation. Good luck not a nice place to be.

mortgagefreeby_2023

I am not doing this for the inheritance. My husband and I have good jobs. IT was never about, and still is not, about money. I would have continued to support her financially had she shown me any respect and appreciation. She is abusive and nasty and treats this house like she owns it and she is allowing US to live with her. She is not even 60 yet, so not elderly.