Making life tolerable? Possible or not a chance?

consultant31

ceridwen wrote: »

If they didnt have their share in this decision - we are in a totally different ballgame.

I disagree. He is the adult, the children are biologically his - it's totally irrelevant whether they came along at the right time for him.

Children don't always arrive at the right time for either parent, it doesn't mean it's ok to ignore them or treat them with disdain. They're children for goodness sake, not commodities - they deserve to be loved!

lynzpower

consultant31 wrote: »

I disagree. He is the adult, the children are biologically his - it's totally irrelevant whether they came along at the right time for him.

Children don't always arrive at the right time for either parent, it doesn't mean it's ok to ignore them or treat them with disdain. They're children for goodness sake, not commodities - they deserve to be loved!

Ceriwiden oftens suggests having children was a mistake and that termination of pregnancy should be much more widespread.Ceri I really dont think this approach is appropriate here do you

Bottom line, hes fathered these children , he is married to thier mother, yet ignores them . I read it as OP has been forced to use debt as he would not give her housekeeping for the childrens needs - givn they have chosen for her to be a SAHM what option does OP have?? not that she has chosen to get into debt for the fun of it

ceridwen

Just playing devils advocate - as we dont have his input here as how things are.

HariboJunkie

lynzpower wrote: »

Ceri I really dont think this approach is appropriate here do you

Absolutely. It feels like you are trying to fit your opinions about children into threads where they really aren't relevant Ceridwen.

The children are there now and they need the love of both their parents.

Twoducklings

thank you. Sorry for not updating. Not had much access to the PC. Could someone tell me what the difference between trying to get a house from the council and one from the housing association people? I have left a message at the council and am waiting for a call back. Will try and update again later.

Lobell

Twoducklings wrote: »

thank you. Sorry for not updating. Not had much access to the PC. Could someone tell me what the difference between trying to get a house from the council and one from the housing association people? I have left a message at the council and am waiting for a call back. Will try and update again later.

I'm not 100% sure how it works in your area but where I work, the local housing authority (council, in your case) and housing associations share a waiting list so you only need to be assessed by your local authority to also be considered for housing association properties. I think this is fairly standard practice as it cuts down on the bureaucracy but do ask if this is the case when speaking to the council just to make sure, though.

As to what the difference is...well, there isn't one really. They are all Registered Social Landlords and should offer the same security of tenure, right to buy etc.

turfy6

Hi and hugs for you, I have just been reading the thread, and found huge comparisons with my ex. My children were only 4 and 2 yrs old when I asked him to leave eventually. It took a lot of soul searching but I didn't want my children to grow up like that either. That was all a very long time ago and he never really showed them any emotion. It was clear he was happy with me but not with the kids. We divorced after a few years and I remarried my partner and I went through adoption and had another baby of our own. Life has never been a breeze but it is SO much better and I never regret what happened. My ex has never asked to see the children and now they are so much older and dont even ask about him.
I know he is involved with someone by I know he must wonder about them, but it was his choice and HE gave them up. How I will never know or understand as the are the most wonderful children.
Just wanted to say there is always a way and you deserve so much more, dont leave it too late as the kids deserve a chance for a happier time of it. Oops I have gone on a bit havent I. Good luck with whatever you decide.