The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

vseviour

Huge hugs to TTC40 and BZ. My conclusion is Clomid sucks :-(

BTW, I chickened out and sent a letter to my parents. Lets see if I'm disowned before the holiday...

XxXx

TTC40

What was the message/ tone?

What do you expect the reaction to be?

I'm finding it hard that my parents are loving their neighbours toddler as if it was their grandchild. No one knows we are TTC.

vseviour

It was a paragraph about what's been going on medically, a paragraph on why we didn't say anything (my emotional communication with them is poor), a paragraph on how pleased we are there is a new baby in family. But then please take a mo to think about some of the things, however innocently they're meant, that are said. I emphasised excitement, looking forward to talking babies, looking forward to seeing them, how much I love them, but said I was telling them so they didnt put their foot in it and so I wouldn't be on edge all holiday.

TBH, I'm hoping for just an acknowledgement they received it, then nothing. I don't really want to discuss it further with them, I just really want a little bit of tact. I don't like talking TTC cos I get emotional, this forum is my vent.

At the same time, I've sent my sister a 'first baby' book and am trying to organise her a treat in resort, so she will hopefully know its nothing personal.

I think the grandparent thing is a big issue. I haven't figured it out in my head yet because I've been concentrating on self preservation on the holiday, but the grandparent niggle is lurking at the back of my mind. I think the niggle might be that even if we do get a BFP, our baby won't live near them, and will they visit if their first grandchild is down the road?

Can I ask why you haven't told them? xx

time2deal

TTC40 - don't you hate a long 2WW! Time seems to crawl. Actually time seems to be moving really slowly for me recently too. Mainly financially! I could do with another payday.

I realised this month I have forked out over £10k... ouch. ICSI cycle + a £4k tax bill. Plus the usual monthly costs, so actually probably well over £11k. I don't think we were quite ready to have to pay for ICSI, so a big bite into savings this month.

Oh - I see you have updated! Hugs... Hope the Red wine was good at least. I am hanging out for a glass when this week finishes!

fluffnutter. We recently went to the egg donation counselling session, as a 'just in case' if we need to go on the waiting list. I had thought a lot about it, and I agree with what you said. I think if you keep it a secret it makes it hard on the child if they find out later. Plus it makes it feel like something to hide - when it's not. But I can understand also why it isn't the first thing you say when you meet someone though!!

We also agreed we would prefer to use the UK approach as it allows the child to contact their egg donor, and/or half siblings if they want. I think if you use the overseas option (apart from being super expensive I assume) then they can't do that.

Anyway, it may not come to that, but it was good to know that DH and I were completely on the same page. Neither of us really had the slightest issue with it, although we will use my eggs if we can!

vsevious - hope the letter goes down well. This whole TTC malarky can be very hard on everyone involved.

AFM - things are progressing nicely with the IVF. 12 good size follicles, and a few more that they think will grow for Thursday EC. I took my last trigger injection today, and they actually told me to not take the last menopur, which I am taking as a good sign as they think the drugs have done enough.

I'm still taking lots of supplements, and going to acupuncture, so hopefully the quality will be ok.

The bad news is they are putting me back on the down-regging drug for two weeks after EC! Which I absolutely HATED when I did it last time, but they say otherwise I will probably get painful cysts. I'm not impressed... but at least this time I can ignore medical advice and self-medicate with wine.

I'll be back on Friday hopefully with good news! Then I suppose I should face the minor other issue... but it will somehow be easier if I have a few SSTLO (super super tiny little ones - acronym coined on the other thread!) safely tucked away.

vseviour

Response from mum: you got the postcode wrong! Followed by sorry, love you too, you can talk to me about anything, do you need help with money, anything we can do. Wish I'd done it ages ago, but to be fair, I wouldn't have been ready to be so open.

FS today was encouraging, she's a positive lady and says we're worth putting a bet on. I'm OVing, hubby's count is higher but mobility down. So IVF likely, probably Leeds, in summer. She said clomid pregnancies happen mostly in first 3 months, then stats fall a bit for last 3 months. I'm thinking of taking next month off so that I can drink on hol and so I can relax/focus on my sister. She said I can do CD21 blood test to see if I'm OVing without Clomid. If prob is mobility, it doesnt really matter, but at least I'll know there's a chance of one lucky one meeting an egg.

T2D, good to see you're being positive, love the acronym! 12 follicles is impressive, fingers crossed for you, as always x

mrshappy

:wave:

hope everyone is good.

vseviour, hope you're feeling okay, I'm pleased your mum is giving you a bit of support. My mum has been great and really supportive despite having her own very serious health problems at the moment-she drives me mental with her constant questions, but she has been a star

AFM-I finished my norithisterone on Sunday and am still waiting to bleed, I was told not to phone for next appointment (prostap injection and scan) until I started bleeding and these appointments are all on a Friday, so I'm having a mini meltdown that it now might not be this Friday which screws up all my (planned in my head and pencilled in my work diary) appointment dates. I do realise that I am being bonkers and it's not the end of the world, but I'm feeling !!!!py and PMTy and sorry for myself tonight Think I might just go to bed

lilymay1

Best of British tomorrow T2D. Will be thinking of you. Come and let us know how it goes.

Vseviour - I don't envy you with the family situation but admire the way you are handling it all. Taking a break to enjoy your sister and the holiday sound like a lovely idea and very considerate of you. I hope you have a lovely time.

Still no ovulation for me. I phoned the hospital yesterday to ask them when I should go in for my CD21 tests and basically, managed to get my care transferred to a different consultant who will see me again in 3 weeks to discuss my treatment plan so far. I want some more diagnostic tests (hormone profiling throughout my cycle mainly) and for someone to answer the questions that I have, and listen to the issues I have identified with my cycle. Feeling much happier about it all now.
Had an absolute shedload of EWCM today, so much it was literally dripping out of me, and my cervix feels like I could park a bus in it it's so open....!! Still, it's been like this for 2 or 3 days now and no ovulation yet. We'll see if clomid does anything to my LP. Does anyone use pre-seed btw? The stuff I bought arrived today and we used it just before. I quite like the applicator idea.

TTC40

vseviour wrote: »

Can I ask why you haven't told them? xx

Glad you have had a supportive response. I haven't told them for a number of reasons. I suppose because the chances are against us we don't want to get any hopes up. This would just be magnified if others knew. My Mum can get a bit 'focused' on things & therefore she would want to discuss at every opportunity, which I don't want. Also I don't think she would be able to keep it to herself & I def don't want to deal with others. I felt guilty when I had my op to clear the tubes & didn't tell anyone. To the world outside this forum & my OH, we are child free by choice . I would go insane though without you guys to chat with.

T2D - good luck for tomorrow.

AFM, last night was horrendous with period pains. I was in agony & vomiting. I have suffered since coming off the pill but last night was the worst. Has anyone else suffered more when on Clomid?

I decided that today was more CD1, so I've booked for FS on Sat 2nd - CD11. This is good as OH can come too. Due to work he hasn't been able to attend the last few (scans).

vseviour

TTC40 wrote: »

To the world outside this forum & my OH, we are child free by choice . I would go insane though without you guys to chat with.
Has anyone else suffered more when on Clomid?

Only time for quick response because I promised hubby some attention tonight, but I understand. I always told people I didn't want children, because I didn't want to get my own hopes up. But my aunts both waited until their 40s, one smoked a lot and the other was large, and they have healthy teenage sons. Don't give up hope.

And yes, my pains have intensified and lasting much longer. And nipples extremely sensitive. Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks for all the support guys,
xx

chickpea

Hi everyone!

Haven't been on here much lately - sorry! Not much to say when you get to the end of the tunnel and there isn't any bloody light..! Missed you though..

Anyway - hello.

So, my SIL had a baby boy today. I am devastated (but I'll put something else in the card..)

That's twice she's skipped the queue now.

Don't worry though..I'm in counselling..