The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

tea_lover

So many questions for the next appt, we'll be in there all day!

IUI was never an option for us so I've no idea what (if anything) the NHS offers around here. As I said before, I am incredibly grateful we're getting anything. The tests etc. we've had up to now would already have cost us thousands if we'd been paying directly. And I'd be happy to pay for things like embryo storage. It's just that knowing we have one shot seems like a HUGE amount of pressure. I suppose the most sensible thing would be not to think about it!

firefly369

T2D - So Sorry about your test results and upcoming surgery:(. Wish there was more we could do than send virtual hugs. Hoping very much that you have lots of support IRL.

time2deal

I also read that there is actually a better success rate with FET. It's not clear why, maybe as you are less stressed as it doesn't follow a massive dose of hormones, plus an invasive procedure. Gives you body a chance to heal before the next event.

More questions for you!

bigzippy

tea_lover wrote: »

Thank you v muchly ladies for mentioning FET, I hadn't even thought of that. I've been scouring the price-list for our clinic all morning and I think a round of ICSI is about £4k, and ICSI using a frozen embie is about £1500. The annual storage for embryos is £130.

We could probably manage £1500, so that's something to bear in mind. Tbh we could (at a big push) manage £4k, and if I knew it would work I'd do it in a heartbeat. I just don't think I could justify spending so much and having nothing to show for it. If I knew it would work I'd remortgage, get 10 jobs and pay them however much they wanted.

I feel similar. I do wonder how much money I'd continue to throw at it if it were unsuccessful continually... :cool:

ETA: BZ - thank you so much for the link to May's blog the other week, I am completely addicted and think I have now read pretty much every post on there.... several times.

Haha, I've got it bookmarked in my phone and have started back at the beginning of her archive too. There's a commenter on her blog "Womb for Improvement" who writes well, with some humour, too, so you could read hers too If you can't find it (and want to), poke me and I'll get the link for you

bigzippy

tea_lover wrote: »

So many questions for the next appt, we'll be in there all day!

IUI was never an option for us so I've no idea what (if anything) the NHS offers around here. As I said before, I am incredibly grateful we're getting anything. The tests etc. we've had up to now would already have cost us thousands if we'd been paying directly. And I'd be happy to pay for things like embryo storage. It's just that knowing we have one shot seems like a HUGE amount of pressure. I suppose the most sensible thing would be not to think about it!

Can you find out before you appt whether they offer FETs as part of the funded cycle? That might make you feel like there's less pressure on the ONE shot, iyswim? Perhaps ring and ask the FS secretary?

time2deal wrote: »

I also read that there is actually a better success rate with FET. It's not clear why, maybe as you are less stressed as it doesn't follow a massive dose of hormones, plus an invasive procedure. Gives you body a chance to heal before the next event.

More questions for you!

My FS said the same thing re FETs.

She was also completely not impressed with my feeling of being more comfortable with "natural/mild" IVF, btw. She was not impressed with the idea at all, and not complimentary of the success rates etc. :cool:

time2deal

Its so hard to know what is right. I'd love to go back to the time when I used to think you just said 'oh, it's taking a while? I'll just pop one in there with IVF and all will be sorted'.

BZ how are you going? Are you definitely out this month

tea_lover

bigzippy wrote: »

There's a commenter on her blog "Womb for Improvement" who writes well, with some humour, too, so you could read hers too If you can't find it (and want to), poke me and I'll get the link for you

Yeah I read that one too! It's almost like I spend my entire life trawling the internet for a) tips, b) success stories, c) people who it's not working for, but who write about it beautifully.

bigzippy

time2deal wrote: »

Its so hard to know what is right. I'd love to go back to the time when I used to think you just said 'oh, it's taking a while? I'll just pop one in there with IVF and all will be sorted'.

I read on the other thread them talking about whether they'd rather have something wrong that "can be fixed" or nothing wrong at all. I was biting my tongue. I remember that feeling well (though more with my conditions than fertility stuff), but there's no guarantee with any of the "fixes" they offer for this stuff. I don't want to take anyone's hope away though, and certainly, there is still hope when you get to the more 'extreme' treatments, but the naivety bothers me - both because it's often unrealistic, and because I wish I still had it! (and I'm aware I've not been through IVF etc treatments either )

BZ how are you going? Are you definitely out this month

It was very bright red last night. I didn't want to give in, so didn't use a pad overnight, and wasn't sure what I'd wake up to. This morning it's brown. But I still have cramps etc. I'm about 85% sure AF's on the way. (I tend to have a few days increasingly spotting before I call CD1 :cool:)

Derby2

Hello ladies...I've not been reading for a few days.

BZ: Big hugs for AF.
TL: I've got a habit if crying in the car after appointments. I cried at the nurse at my last one...I just keep reminding myself that I can't be the only one that has cried! I think you made the right decision about your appointment. Our next one is the 17th and they've said we'll go to the top of the list, so I think we might be January too. It does feel quick, doesn't it? I'm concerned too about time off. My husband has told his work he may need last minute time off, but that's not an option for me. It's going to be tricky.

t2d:life really can be challenging, can't it? I hope everything goes ok.

Runnerduck

tea_lover wrote: »

Morning ladies – kept losing posts yesterday so hopefully the internet will be behaving itself today. Yesterday’s FS appt went pretty much as expected… hence lots of crying in the car on the way home.

The consultant ran through all the blood and other tests that OH has had and said there’s nothing obvious to explain the poor SA results. So no genetic issues such as CF etc. Obv. there could be other things they don’t have a test for yet. He also examined OH and said there’s nothing physically wrong that could cause the issues. There is a variocele (sp?!) and he’s said OH can have surgery for that, but he also said that wouldn’t make a difference to the low count, and would only slightly improve the motility.

He gave us two options – continue with clomid and metformin (both at higher doses) and hope for the best. Or, ICSI. His advice was to take option 2, which was pretty much what we’d thought beforehand anyway.

Out next appt is Jan 8th, and then we’re all systems go. We could have had the appt next week but I freaked out at that – we only get one funded go so I need to get my head around it all before we start. Don’t get me wrong, am massively grateful that we get any help at all, but one go just seems like such poor odds. It’s all I can concentrate on.

So now I need to do even more research about how many appts I’m likely to need, and what sort of timescale they might cover. I’m currently working nearly 2hrs away from home, and with all the other issues with work it would be a LOT easier to take at least some of the time as annual leave. But obviously for that I need some idea of what I’m looking at, time-wise. Any experiences gratefully received!!

Sorry for such an essay, hope everyone’s doing well and isn’t too cold/wet!

hi, i've just had my ec today for imsi so i can probably help you a bit, i had a scan on the 14th, which could not be booked until the 12th as it had to be booked on first day of bleeding, then another scan on 21st,and again on the 23rd and 26th then i was contacted on the evening if the 26th to say we were in at 10.45 today. I cannot drive now for 48 hours and have been told to take it easy, unless you have a very easy job i would think you would have to have the day after ec off. This time i went to all the scans alone as we have been through it plenty and know what to expect, but your hubby has to be with you for EC. hope this helps a bit, feel free to pm me if you want any more info x