The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Primmer

Tealover - how did appointment with fs go yesterday?

BZ - hugs for spotting

T2D - I had abnormal cells and had a diathermy loop incision rather than a cone biopsy. I had it under local but think they tend to do cone under general. I didn't find the procedure itself painful but felt in pain and uncomfortable for few days after so I would take the Monday off too.

Hugs to all x

TeamLowe

bigloves T2D, hope everything works out ok, maybe tell them it's a mole in a place they wouldn't notice? you had one removed but the doctor wasn't sure so he wants to do a couple of others too...

BigZ I'm really sorry to hear that, had all my fingers and toesies crossed for you

Onestep its a bit that that's all we'll see in the news if she is but then again if there's one couple i want it to be nice and simple for (apart from you ladies of course) it's them. could you imagine going through this so very much in the spotlight? constant rumours about being pregnant when you don't know if you can get pregnant, people wondering in papers why you aren't yet....:eek:

tea_lover

Morning ladies – kept losing posts yesterday so hopefully the internet will be behaving itself today. Yesterday’s FS appt went pretty much as expected… hence lots of crying in the car on the way home.

The consultant ran through all the blood and other tests that OH has had and said there’s nothing obvious to explain the poor SA results. So no genetic issues such as CF etc. Obv. there could be other things they don’t have a test for yet. He also examined OH and said there’s nothing physically wrong that could cause the issues. There is a variocele (sp?!) and he’s said OH can have surgery for that, but he also said that wouldn’t make a difference to the low count, and would only slightly improve the motility.

He gave us two options – continue with clomid and metformin (both at higher doses) and hope for the best. Or, ICSI. His advice was to take option 2, which was pretty much what we’d thought beforehand anyway.

Out next appt is Jan 8th, and then we’re all systems go. We could have had the appt next week but I freaked out at that – we only get one funded go so I need to get my head around it all before we start. Don’t get me wrong, am massively grateful that we get any help at all, but one go just seems like such poor odds. It’s all I can concentrate on.

So now I need to do even more research about how many appts I’m likely to need, and what sort of timescale they might cover. I’m currently working nearly 2hrs away from home, and with all the other issues with work it would be a LOT easier to take at least some of the time as annual leave. But obviously for that I need some idea of what I’m looking at, time-wise. Any experiences gratefully received!!

Sorry for such an essay, hope everyone’s doing well and isn’t too cold/wet!

Metranil_Vavin

I think you did the right thing waiting for the Jan appointment tea. I would have done the same.

I think it's good to have a bit of time to mentally prepare for what's ahead.

Will be keeping everything crossed for you hon.

TeamLowe

Tea Lover i'm sorry that it's only one cycle you'll get, but it could be all you need i'll have all my fingers and toesies crossed for you.

AFM i think this is the first ovulatory cycle (and lets face it, nonovulatory cycles too) that i've not convinced myself i'm pregnant! course, i'm only 6DPO and there's plenty of time for hope to spoil everything especially since the beggar keeps saying 'you know there's loads of ladies who didn't think they were pregnant who ended up being pregnant...' lol

Keep looking at that forum i mentioned yesterday, there's lots of hope over there, so many people trying for years and lots of treatments and finally getting their dream :happyhear

time2deal

Hi TL,

Fully understand wanting to wait until January. I have to wait until Jan due to a holiday, and I think the FS was thinking we could start earlier. But I was fine with the delay as I think you need a little time to get your head around it.

When you get stimulated IVF, I think you can end up with un-used fertilized eggs. Is that right? If that is the case, can you then have them transferred later at a lower cost than the full IVF? I'm never sure how that works...

AFM, well, things are !!!! to be honest. Spoke to doctor, and things go from bad to worse. Proper surgery next week, exploratory into my womb, and then I guess we decide next steps. I'm not coping terribly well - it's moved so fast from a bad smear, to endless bad news.. had a small breakdown at work... now at home but feeling pretty scared.

ETA: I am actually going to really resist googling now. People keep asking me for answers as to what's next, what the potential outcome... blah blah... and I don't know. Now it's just stress and patience. And Valerian, and nurofen to try to chill out.

bigzippy

T2d, I'm thinking of you. I wish there was more I could do/say
From what I've seen, frozen embryo transfers are cheaper than the full whack, generally, though you do pay for storage of them. In my PCT the NHS counts FET as part of the 1 or 2 cycles of IVF they offer, so if there's embryos left after a failed cycle they'll fund having them put back too.

Tea, I'd've made the same decision to do it after Christmas etc etc too. I hope you get your head around it as much as possible, and once is all you need.

TL, I agree. I kind of felt that way with her wedding day too - all those people gawping if you slipped up... Not for me, that's for sure.

TeamLowe

all the love in the world T2D, hope things get better for you very quickly x x

tea_lover

T2D - massive hugs sweetie. Have nothing useful to say but just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you, and I really hope this is all sorted soon xx.

Thank you v muchly ladies for mentioning FET, I hadn't even thought of that. I've been scouring the price-list for our clinic all morning and I think a round of ICSI is about £4k, and ICSI using a frozen embie is about £1500. The annual storage for embryos is £130.

We could probably manage £1500, so that's something to bear in mind. Tbh we could (at a big push) manage £4k, and if I knew it would work I'd do it in a heartbeat. I just don't think I could justify spending so much and having nothing to show for it. If I knew it would work I'd remortgage, get 10 jobs and pay them however much they wanted.

ETA: BZ - thank you so much for the link to May's blog the other week, I am completely addicted and think I have now read pretty much every post on there.... several times.

TeamLowe

Tea Lover, it's worth also checking with the NHS if they'll freeze any, my PCT offers 3 years of embryo storage.
don't know if they're more generous than yours though, as they offer 3xIUI and 1xIVF but maybe you've been told IUI is a no go so it's straight to the one IVF x x