The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

bigzippy

Primmer, what's happening with the NHS bods now? Have you had an appointment with them since the hsg? Are they willing/wanting to try anything with you?

Ttc40, when I rang for my tracking scan she said they expect ovulation 12-14 days from starting the clomid and it's usually pretty accurate - I hope so cos I've had an unheard of (for me) 28 day cycle twice in the last 4 months and I'd like that to continue! I really feel for tea lover, getting the opposite response

I'm gonna dig out my CBFM for this cycle I've had it a while cos I got it on a really long cycle, so there was no point then, and then not long after we were told about the tubes, so really no point. I've never used it though, so I'm hoping it's gonna be straightforward and I won't be out-witted by a machine

Anyone seen how our more recent graduates are doing? Sarah999? ETO? Fluffnutter? Etc...? (I think I'm missing someone but can't place the name)

vseviour

I've also been lurking for a very long time, but with a few more 'newbies' coming out, and the stage I'm at now I thought it has high time I joined in!! We started trying for a baby in April 2010. I stopped taking the pill and after a few months my periods became regular. And then they stopped completely, for 9 months. I was thought to have polycystic ovaries. I went for a scan, but there was nothing notably wrong, I still wasn’t having periods, and so in January 2012 the doctor put us on the waiting list for a fertility expert. SA showed my husband had low count and mobility, and I was 28 and 17.5 stone. I knew polycystic ovaries were associated with heavy women, and also that the government wouldn’t give fertility help to couples with high BMIs, so I started a weight loss regime.

In the past, I’ve joined slimming world, weight watchers, etc but we’re saving for a house so I didn’t want to spend money on going to groups talking about diet, when I could better spend the money on fresh fruit and veg or fitness activities. Luckily, a friend was determined to restart her swimming routine, and i tagged along, 6.30am every day. It was perfect. It wasn’t using up ‘real time’, cos I’d only be sleeping at that time of day, and because she picked me up I couldn’t back out. As the weight started to fall off, I started doing more, going to the gym after swimming when I had time, and getting a mini cycle for my desk at work.
I’ve always been fat, and when i think back over the years, it feels like I’ve always been on some sort of diet, but I never took it seriously. Now I had an incentive, it was easier. Eat less, move more became my motto. I did fortnightly weigh ins with a nurse. Before I felt like such a failure, my thoughts were so dark. I was angry with myself for getting myself in such a state, my family for not having intervened, my job for making me sit down all day, my husband simply for eating a bag of chips. Things became especially bad with my family, as I live away from them and have always found it hard to communicate my feelings. I didn’t feel I could tell them about my failure as a woman to reproduce, so I kept it to myself. As the weight started to come off, I still didn’t tell them until it became the white elephant in the room. I spoke to a counsellor and got some perspective, and went to visit them in August 2012. They hadn’t seen me since I was fat, and it amazing to feel that for once I hadn’t disappointed them. (I still haven't told them though) :-(
We saw the FS on NHS in Sept, she took down our family histories, medications, weights, explained SA and other tests that had been done, did an internal inspection of me and prescribed Clomid for 6 months, then looking at IVF after.

And now, Nov 2012, I’ve lost 4.5 stone. It hasn’t been easy, but the fortnightly chunks and having a reason to do it kept me going. I weigh 13 stone, and I would still like to lose a bit more, but I’m down from a size 22 to a 14. I never thought it would be possible.

What’s more, I started the Clomid this week (same time as bigzippy and ttc40!!) so things are optimistic on the baby front. Sorry this is quite a long post, it feels good to put in down on paper, and from lurkers point of view, I like to know the background of other people in the same situation as me!!

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing ok and thank you for all the secret support you've given me in the last few months xx

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Primmer

BZ - nhs fs didn't want to see me after hsg as her recommendation was ivf whatever result of hsg. Still not made definite decision about whether to try ivf again, DH doesn't want me to go through it again and both of us don't think we can afford another go. I am going to have my Amh levels checked and then we try and decide what to do.

I have a cbfm but don't use it any more but found it was helpful to pin point ov. Need to set it up by cd6 of your cycle and then it will tell you the days it wants you to poas. Need to set it up within the timeframe you will be using it each day.

TTC40

Welcome vseviour. Great to have another buddy.

Another amazing weight loss - BZ has had this too.

I'm closer to your before weight. Even TTC hasn't enabled me to focus. I'm not daft (well some might say otherwise) & I have lost weight before (& put it back on), so don't know why this isn't the biggest incentive I should ever need. Also if I do get pg, the extra weight won't be good.

Anyway, I know that only I can do it - like you have said it's easy to blame others! Well done to you.

bigzippy

Welcome V :wave: well done on your weightloss! I've just hit 5st lost, so not far to go now. How tall are you?

Primmer, have you considered freezing some eggs now incase you change your mind/ have more money further down the line, or anything like that? Not that I'm sure what the point would be, but it popped into my head I'm hoping that as it's "just" (there's no just about it!) unexplained infertility for you, that you will be surprised by a perfect natural pregnancy soon Have you considered any other ways of parenting?

debtfreeat40

Thanks everyone for the replies its helpful to know everyone's experiences. xx

Kally1

Hi Guys,

Im new to this site- have read lots of posts recently - but never really commented....dont even know half of the lingo! :S I have been trying to conceive for 36 months with my husband of 5 years, having no joy at all! IVF didnt work, I have no money to fund private treatment and all I want is a baby! I wondered if anyone had ever thought of adoption - pros and cons.... feel this may be my only hope! I know I could give so much to a child!

Would be lovely to hear from anyone with points of view.

Thanks

Kally1 x

time2deal

Hi ladies,

Quick update as I have been super stressing all last night and today - too stressed to even read up here! I went for a smear last week (along with a range of other STI tests requested by the FS before going further) and got a message last night saying I had to call back.

When I did it was too late, and this morning they wouldn't put me through as the nurse was in clinic all morning. So she finally calls me back around 3.30 - I was on another call, but I put him on hold and had a one sided call with the nurse - ie I could only say 'uh huh, yep, ok'.

Anyway, turns out there was some small evidence on a minor yeast infection - which I should treat with canesten. Such relief! I had imagined a thousand scenarios... so, back on track now. Today's stress level probably wasn't great for anything TTC related!

bigzippy

Glad it was something and nothing t2d!!

Kally, I've always considered adoption and/or fostering, regardless of any biological children we may be blessed with, but not looked very much into it as yet. There was a lady that posted maybe a month ago on here, who recently adopted siblings and posted a picture. She may be about to offer more info?

Welcome, in any case

It occurred to me today that it was cd5 and I hadn't set my cbfm going yet, so spent the day with that in the back of my mind...got the box down, wiped the dust off and then recounted... Tomorrow is cd5. Phew. Let's see if I can suss it in the morning, at the right time...

time2deal

Hi,

So we got the SA results and it was pretty bad news. Very low (800k) 'associated with severe infertility'. However, they admit they didn't do the test in time, so it was sitting around too long and have asked to do another test as the results are unreliable.

This time we have decided to pay to have it done at the private FS, as they have a testing clinic onsite, and they are much faster.

I'm oddly ok about the result. I know DH has a terrible diet, wears tight undies etc, and does a range of lifestyle things that we can change to improve it. Now he knows he can start to improve it. 20m seems a long way away (which is normal apparently) but I'm not sure how much impact these changes + supplements can make.

Feels like progress at least.