The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

EverTheOptimist

bigzippy wrote: »

Anyone seen how our more recent graduates are doing? Sarah999? ETO? Fluffnutter? Etc...? (I think I'm missing someone but can't place the name)

Hi all, I've been lurking daily too, just checking up on you all, to see how everyone is doing. And to see if anything ever comes up that i might be able to assist with or offer advice with.

I had a scan today - am 13 weeks, everything seems to be going well, i think hubby in afghan is more anxious than me. I had a melt down a few weeks ago, but calmer now. Got awful nausea in the evenings, and exhausted all the time, but not complaining as i have wanted this for so long.

Thanks for asking BZ.

Thinking of you all, good luck and keep trying.

sarahs999

I'm still here too, lurking and reading. 23 weeks tomorrow and with a tight drum of a belly that looks like i swallowed a football. Baby has developed a talent for kicking me in the cervix and sphincter at the same time. Nice.

Big hugs for all those at a frustrating point in their journey.

pinkteapot

Hey all,

I don't really post on here but I am a lurker. I popped up a couple of months back to say that we had just been referred by our GP. Yesterday we had our first appointment with the fertility consultant at our local NHS hospital.

I think that the reason I haven't posted before is that I've been trying not to think about the fact we haven't conceived. Been focusing on anything and everything else in life, while trying obviously. Maybe I'm scared of the whole thing getting me down.

I got a bit freaked out and upset by the hospital visit yesterday. Firstly, fertility is in the same wing as all the neonatal and antenatal stuff. Lots of pregnant women waiting for scans etc. Usually I'm not bothered by seeing pregnant women or babies but I did feel a twinge of jealousy. Also there were lots of other couples waiting, one in particular who talked about having been trying for six years. My heart went out to them. It's really hard to explain but I think it made it seem real that we're one of the couples "having difficulty". Does that make any sort of sense? As I said, I think it's just because I've been pushing it to the back of my mind and the clinic made it all real. DH's initial SA that the GP ordered came back normal so I feel like it's my fault (he says I'm being daft but I can't help it).

Anyway, a miserable 90 minutes (!) in the waiting room aside, the appointment itself was good. Our GP had written a lovely letter about why we need help and provided all sorts of medical history notes, results from all the prelim tests they'd ordered, etc. Consultant was pleased with that and it meant I didn't need any more bloods done at that stage. It was just a first meeting to talk about our background etc.

Next step is for me to have a HyCoSy to check my tubes are open. Then we'll get a date through for our next appointment where we'll discuss the results of that and where we go from here. They did say that appt won't be for 10-12 weeks as they're pretty backed up. They said that unless there's a tube problem, the next step would probably be drugs to make sure I'm ovulating regularly (assuming some sort of hormone?) for six months.

I couldn't get to sleep last night - think it was all going round in my mind. Feeling a bit down today. I know I'll perk up again after a good night's sleep though.

Just needed to waffle on a bit. Sorry for the long post.

EDIT: Probably also a bit glum because I'm pre-menstrual so guessing there's no point testing again this month.

time2deal

Hi pinkteapot.

I know what you mean about it being real. We have had bad results for both DH and me over the last few weeks, and I think the reality is only just setting in. I had a bit of a breakdown last night, lots of tears as the stress and futility of it all came to a head.

Hubbie got a bit of a shock I think. I'm the one who 'runs' our lives more, and am normally very in control, but it's all getting a little too much. And he was trying to be supportive in his own way - but ended up annoying me more! Things like 'there are people who are much worse of than us, so don't be Jealous." and "there are things we can do, and if there aren't then such is life". I think he was trying to be supportive, but didn't come out quite right!

So, struggling a bit today. I'm just scared we will be told there is no chance of even ICSI with his SA results. I'm sure things will look better tomorrow, just some days are harder than others.

TeamLowe

lovely to hear from the graduates, hope you all have glowing, uneventful pregnancies and i'm sure your babies will be beautiful

pinkteapot i'm sorry to hear you're feeling down about it all but at least there's a plan, we're women who like plans hopefully you'll be one of those ladies who gets pregnant just before her next FS appointment x x

pinkteapot

Thanks both. We're at a very early stage and all the tests done to date have been "normal" so I shouldn't be getting down. I think it was just the initial reality setting in.

time2deal - I know what you mean as I'm the organiser with us! Run the finances, always the one to arrange stuff we're doing, holidays etc. Bit of a control freak generally in life. Probably means I'm not the sort of person who handles medical uncertainty well. I'm so sorry to hear you've had bad test results.

I think it's not helping that it's coinciding with such a grey and gloomy time of year. Still, Sunday is forecast to be bright and sunny (touch wood) so we'll get out and distract ourselves.

Chocolate_Cookie_Monster

2ba3c wrote: »

*huff* and me!

And me!!

I'm 19 weeks now and waiting for 20 week scan.

Still keeping up with all you ladies. I was just reading about SA results from one lady. We had low (but not too bad) results on the first test but an improved diet and a turnaround from no exercise to regular workouts doubled the count in 3 months. But DH had a lot of samples with the IUI and they varied greatly. The last 2 iui's were 18 million washed to 11 million and 43 million washed to 8 million. And we conceived on the 8 million wash (but was unfortunately ectopic).

2ba3c

time2deal wrote: »

The one by Marilyn Glenville?
And 2ba2c - I referred to you in an earlier question about Soy!! But you didn't respond.. so I *sulk* back at you.

Oh no, I'm sorry! I will go back through your posts and find it and answer immediately! x

Primmer

Lovely as always to hear from the graduates, it is always nice to hear how you are getting along.

PinkTeapot - your reaction was perfectly understandable and I know I felt totally daunted after my first appointment with the fs. My main piece of advice is to talk to your dh but also vent, rant, say what you feel in here as it is a really supportive group where you know that others have been through the same, are feeling the same.

2ba3c

time2deal wrote: »

I know 2ba2c had success with soy - has anyone else?

Found it

Tattoo did a few week before me and it sounds like similar things happens to us when we took it.

So back story, is that I was diagnosed with PCOS and had long and erratic cycles, and wouldn't ovulate on each cycle.

I took 200mg of soy isoflavones CD2 - 6 (on each day) and it gave me the weirdest cycle ever. I was using the CBFM at the time (along with cheap OPKs) and got lots of highs that month but never got a peak, and then it went back down to low, so thought I had skipped ovulation and the soy had messed with it. Then when I thought my period was due, it didnt arrive. I got my hope up, we did a test (OK, I did lots of them) and they all came back negative. So I gave up and stopped really thinking about this cycle and wished my period would arrive so we could start again.

I randomly started testing again for Ovulation around CD 51/52 and kept going and my OPK kept getting darker. I finally got one that looked as close to positive as I would get on CD57 and we inseminated that day, just the once. FF gave me a line the day after and 12 dpo, I randomly decided to pee on a cheapie HPT whilst in the shower, and then promptly forgot about it. I remembered half way through my shower and if by some miracle, there was a very VERY faint line!

I am absolutely convinced the soy worked for us. I know with tattoo too, it lengthened her cycle and she had a cycle of about 60 days as well. I also know there are some websites that warn against it, so I think each individual should read up and make an informed decision about it.

Here's a link to my chart should anybody be interested:


My Ovulation Chart

That month I had also lost a stone quite quickly on the Dukan diet, so I am sure that contributed. Every Dr I saw told me I needed to lose weight, grrrr!

Anyway, I lurk here all the time hoping and praying you ladies especially see your BFP's as soon as possible.

big love,
2b xxx