The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

chickpea

Hi everyone!

Sarah - I hope all went well!

BZ - well done OH, nice to have a bit more cash coming in, esp. if you are facing IVF.

+++++

For me, I can't honestly say things are going that well. I feel like a big, fat failure. Have a work issue that may go really badly (probably will have to move jobs), diet is going nowhere, still infertile and haven't got much motivation to do much of anything at the moment.

I feel like my whole thirties have been in freefall, and yes I blame the infertility...

I am currently CD23, and feeling some familiar pre-AF pains.

Sorry for gloom-spreading - have a good Sunday!

onestep

Well done MrBZ!
Chickpea, am sorry that things aren't going well at work.. Hope it all resolves itself without you having to move.

AFM.. Cycle is a bit odd. Had some spotting yesterday (cd 12) & I haven't had ovulation spotting before. No temp rise yet. Ah well. DH is home at least

Hugs to everyone that needs one

chickpea

Hi Onestep - I have had some random spotting too -what a coincidence! I am on CD23 (OV was CD14) though, so I hope AF is not going to put in an early appearance. Could just be something random..

Good luck anyway this month!

chickpea

Just found out one of our friends of old is pg...by flicking on her latest Facebook pictures. The worst thing is...I was only doing it out of paranoia, because her existing child is nearly 3 and I knew it would only be a matter of time.

Sure enough - judging by the photos, she looks about 6 months. They won't have mentioned it to us because they know all about my infertility. Damn them for seing tactful..! (They are lovely, that's why the jealousy is so wrong, but I can't do anything about it.)

How depressing.

I was getting paranoid because all the photos she has posted recently have been of other people. I just wanted to put my mind at ease by checking out her midriff - and that's what you get. Now I know why they haven't phoned for a while... At least now I can be prepared to fake good cheer when they do pass on that news.

They live in USA, so no danger of running into them at random (although we're planning a trip over there in May.)

bigzippy

I hate that feeling of jealousy-even-though-they-don't-"deserve"-it, chickpea I have a friend I'm really close to, but she's just over 20wks and already told me she's got a bump you can't miss...strangely it makes me not want to see her much

onestep

We might not be cycle buddies these days but we're still in synch chickpea!!

I'm sorry about your US friend too. My neighbour & good friend is due next month.. About the same time I'd have been due if the IUI had worked. It's been, well, rough

sarahs999

hello all - just to let you know the 20 week scan was all good. had ages to look at baby as he was in the wrong position to measure spine, so had to go away and drink coke, come back and try again. It's a boy! Have to go back to cervix clinic next week as mine is measuring slightly short but I'm not bothered about it - i know that I have a naturally small cervix anyway.

TTC40

Went to a christening yesterday - no surprise that the place was over run with bablies/ toddlers.

CD16 here & got +OPK last night/ this morning.

BD last night & this morning. OH home tonight (we are often apart due to work), so will try tonight & in the morning too.

He's away for the rest of the week so glad to get the + this morning.

Great news Sarah, glad all is going well.

tea_lover

chickpea wrote: »

For me, I can't honestly say things are going that well. I feel like a big, fat failure. Have a work issue that may go really badly (probably will have to move jobs), diet is going nowhere, still infertile and haven't got much motivation to do much of anything at the moment.

I feel like my whole thirties have been in freefall, and yes I blame the infertility...

Big hugs xx. I feel like I could have written this word for word. Feeling really down atm and very "what's the point" with it all.

Work is just awful. There's only 4 weeks to the relocation so I'm now staring at a HUGE commute to a job I hate... with a new boss who's determined to cut me out of the dept. She's totally ignoring me, not inviting me to meetings, taking me off email circulation lists, etc, even when other people have challenged her about it. It's like she's decided I'm going to leave so she's going to treat me as if I already have, iyswim. So now I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing as I've been cut off from everyone else. So I have some very long days with nothing much to do.

Sorry for the mammoth whinge :(, just so sick of it all. I'd leave if I could find something else but obviously that's easier said than done.

Really annoyed at myself for letting it all get to me so much. I'm supposed to be a grown woman so why do I feel sick at the thought of coming in here? I feel like I'm being bullied into leaving.

Primmer

Sarah - so pleased to hear your scan went well!

Hugs to Chickpea and Tealover and to anyone else in need of a hug. It does feel like your life is on hold re: jobs etc when ttc especially when it is not happening and particularly when you are not happy in your job. Tealover your boss sounds horrid :eek:

AFM - my review letter came from the ivf clinic on Saturday morning and it really upset me as it is very short and to the point and made me feel really useless like even with treatment I can't get it right I have my review appointment with the clinic this afternoon which I feel I really need to have even if we don't try again but at the same time I am dreading it as I know it will upset me. It doesn't help that af started yesterday and is first proper af since treatment and it is so painful and heavy and so didn't sleep and am feeling very sorry for myself.