The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

chickpea

Tea and sympathy for tea lover (unless gin would be better?) and Primmer. Sorry about CD1 too Primmer.

Onestep - I actually think I'm unconsciously copying you - didn't your AF kick in on CD23 last month?!

I think I'm calling CD1 today too, although there's still the fantasist in me that prefers to think that this blood (which is quite plainly AF) is actually implantation bleeding. But I know it's not - too heavy!

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Anyway - got to go, I have an afternoon off and a whole load of shops to get round before they close.

Have a good day...if you can!

onestep

tea_lover wrote: »

Work is just awful. There's only 4 weeks to the relocation so I'm now staring at a HUGE commute to a job I hate... with a new boss who's determined to cut me out of the dept. She's totally ignoring me, not inviting me to meetings, taking me off email circulation lists, etc, even when other people have challenged her about it. It's like she's decided I'm going to leave so she's going to treat me as if I already have, iyswim. So now I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing as I've been cut off from everyone else. So I have some very long days with nothing much to do.

I feel like I'm being bullied into leaving.

This is not good. Can you raise this with your HoD, or her line manager? Keep a track of all the meetings etc you've been kept out of but would ordinarily have been expected to attend. Make sure you are fulfilling all your (other) roles as normal. Ask her line manager for extra work - it might be more challenging/interesting?

Chickpea - yes, it was cd23 last month!! Haha!! brilliant!! Think I O'd yesterday.. Just waiting for the temp increase to confirm it. I'm back on temping, last month was too much of a mystery

Hugs to Primmer & Tealover. And hurrah!!! For Sarah

bigzippy

Great news Sarah

Tealover this is beginning to sound like constructive dismissal, but that's very hard to prove. I still think I'd take the redundancy package - easier from the outside in, I know, and daunting - but you're miserable in the job and would be even more miserable having to commute so far to do the miserable job. I would like to think I'd cut my losses if I were you, but it's scary and horrible a situation to be in and I hope you find what's right for you.

Primmer, how did the appointment go?

Chickpea, I feel like a big + fat failure too


On paper I know I'm healing quite well, considering, but I was never told I wouldn't be allowed to lift things or drive, in the aftermath of the op, until I was being discharged. So I wasn't prepared, mentally, and I'm getting frustrated and feeling trapped

Primmer

Appointment went ok thanks BZ, wasn't in there long as she rattled through it but she covered it all and answered all my questions. I feel better for going and talking it through. I really want to try again but this time using icsi but DH not sure as he doesn't want me to go through it all again and will also need to come up with £5,000 from somewhere so lots to think about.

BZ - hope you not going too stir crazy, when do you next see anyone to discuss next steps?

tea_lover

Primmer - glad you got some answers. I'm so sorry it wasn't the outcome you wanted this time. Best of luck for whatever you decide to do/not do next x.
BZ - if your weather is anything like ours then you're definitely better off staying inside with your feet up for a bit longer yet. It's really grim here. Hope you're feeling ok x.
sarah - brilliant news . Can't remember if I've said that already but it's such good news it really doesn't matter if I say it twice lol.

I really do want to take the redundancy BZ, I just can't justify it without something else to go to. We'd starve! Interestingly, you're the 4th person to mention constructive dismissal in the last 2 days - but like you say, it's so very difficult to prove.

TTC40

TL - it is difficult to prove & if you are being offered a redundancy package it reduces the chance of a claim even more.

If you took redundancy, how long would the package keep you going? Remember it's tax free so lasts longer & you don't have the cost of work. What would your chances of getting another job be?

I don't want this to sound patronising & I'm sure you have thought it through, but sometimes you have to take a risk (only you can weigh this up).

AFM, think ov was yesterday & am pleased that we have BD'd 4 times in the last 48 hours. We couldn't have done more! Nearly didn't manage this morning. OH now away (think he's glad of the rest!)

tea_lover

Initially I thought that as redundancy was an option then it definitely wouldn't be considered constructive dismissal. However, the more research I do the more it looks like I may possibly have a case. The redundancy should be voluntary - based only on whether I'm happy with the long commute. The actual role itself isn't being made redundant. But my manager is trying to force me to take the redundancy by acting unreasonably (ie. not inviting me to meetings, saying I have to travel more than everyone else, etc) and so effectively taking my choice in the matter away.

The redundancy money would probably last 2 months - so obv better than nothing but the job market is non-existent around here. I've been looking for months already and haven't even had an interview so far.

Anyway, I should stop wittering on about this and it's so completely off-topic. Sorry .

bigzippy

Primmer wrote: »

Appointment went ok thanks BZ, wasn't in there long as she rattled through it but she covered it all and answered all my questions. I feel better for going and talking it through. I really want to try again but this time using icsi but DH not sure as he doesn't want me to go through it all again and will also need to come up with £5,000 from somewhere so lots to think about.

Did she have anything new to add or suggest? What was the summary?

BZ - hope you not going too stir crazy, when do you next see anyone to discuss next steps?

30th is my appt with FS. Which is good cos I'm hoping by then she can give me the all clear to drive, and check my stitches - which apparently don't always disolve _pale_ Hopefully she'll have the results of the cyst they removed then too. When I saw her after the op I was barely awake so didn't ask her anything, and I'm only seeing her so soon because I already had an appointment set up (I think because I wanted referral to the ACU to discuss options that should've been dicussed with FS consultant originally) - otherwise it would've been a 6wk wait for the follow up appt, which would've done my head in!

Just getting fed up of being even more.useless and needy and burden for DH than usual

Tea, it's so hard to prove without a lot of documentation. I'd recommend communicating with them mainly via.email so you have proof that way. And what about raising a grievance? Good luck with it though. And don't apologise, I see it as relevant anyway, not least because it affects how you approach ttc, imo

TTC40

I had to have my stitches out too BZ. The nurse said that the length of time they take to disolve means that they become very itchy so it's better to have them taken out.

For me it was very straight forward & the thought of it was worse.

I wasn't told not to drive after mine. It was tender when I did though.

tea_lover

My stitches have never dissolved either. Makes you wonder if they need to start making them out of something else! I felt so much better once they were out as they were getting pinchy.

*daydreams about inventing a dissolvable stitch material that actually dissolves and earning millions from it...*