The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

mess0804

Do you know how long the process can be ? I have my next appointment in November and I will insist to be put on Clomid. I hope this time they will , so I will be 6 months on it ... than if nothing happens what is the next stage ?

I want to go abroad if it takes too much time here, but it's a lot of money too so I need to plan. I will have to quit my job, and live there for a few months ... so I need to plan ... When I hear about the number of years waiting it's just too much for me... Last year I was better, more optimist, but now when I see that they haven't even started with Clomid on me, they keep dragging and months pass ... it just started to depress me ... but I will get better after I will start Clomid, at least I would have something to hope for. What is the next stage if that doesn't work ?

Primmer

Mess - I didnt have clomid so can't comment on that but we had our open evening at the ivf clinic 2 weeks after being referred in June this year and I have just had my first ivf treatment and now waiting to see if it's worked. So things moved quickly for me but that was self funded not nhs but at my clinic there was no waiting list for nhs either. I would suggest asking your fertility specialist next time you see them about waiting lists in your area before thinking about giving up work and going abroad.

chickpea

Hello everyone!

Primmer - getting close to testing day...feeling nervous/excited for you! Good luck.

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Is it just me or is everyone pg just now (with the obvious exceptions of (most of) us!)

I know it's normal to get paranoid when TTC for a while - but even objectively speaking..? It seems babies are mandatory at the moment.

They are at ruddy ASDA at any rate. I nipped by yesterday to get some very cheap gin (things aren't *that* bad, it's for slow gin making - got to get through Christmas with PG SIL somehow, never hurts to plan ahead!) and they were everywhere.

And a little bit of observation of the pg ladies in ASDA yesterday offered proof, if proof were needed, that there's more to fertility than a healthy BMI and lifestyle.

Meow - ignore me, I'm just jealous!

+++++

Anyway - I'm off on holiday - again - on Monday for a week. AF due while we're away - can I outfox it by skipping the country or will it hunt me down? You can run, but you can't hide.. I'll prepare for the worst anyway.

We're going to a bit of a family-friendly destination - so I'll have to try to get into the right zen-like frame or mind first and accept it will be bump/baby-tastic!

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Mess - I have no experience of IVF - but I do have experience of Clomid, and can tell you it's really not that great in a lot of cases, so I wouldn't get too hung up on that. I get the impression it gets prescribed to buy time as much as anything else. I'd push for IVF - can't hurt to get on the waiting list, 2 years might be a worst-case scenario? Maybe not, I guess you just have to explore your options.

Good luck with it.

And good luck everyone else with testing or getting a treatment plan sorted or whatever you are up to.

bigzippy

cakeadoodle wrote: »

Hi folks, I wonder if I might ask for a bit of advice, to see if your experience matches mine?

Is this normal? I would have thought they would want to at least have a look down there to be sure everything is as it should be. I suppose I'm a bit worried that we might wait all that time for IVF and then discover there's actually an issue with me that was unidentified.

I could have cried when she said at least 2 years after getting on the list - this means we won't even get to start until I'm at least 38. Sorry if I'm being an insensitive moan, the hormones are raging today! I'm just so unfamiliar with what's 'normal' for fertility treatment and what isn't, and we haven't told a soul that we were even trying so I can't really discuss it with anyone!

2 years does sound excessive :undecided I guess what FS's do changes depending on who you see. I posted this last wee fir someone else

As my standard round of tests I had:
Swabs (check for infections etc) and internal while at the initial FS appointment
CD2-5 blood test (checks baseline hormone levels & for rubella antibodies etc)
CD21 blood test (checks for ovulation type hormone levels. She ordered this one twice - possibly cos of my irregular periods and previously proven PCOS?)
SA for DH
HSG - xraying whilst your womb is filled with dye which should then flow through your tubes (this shows some information about your uterus including shape etc, and your tubes. If they're blocked the dye doesn't go through, if they have some irregularities in the inside of the tubes that could show up too (there could be narrowing or widening shown where the dye goes, for eg) etc)
Scan - was scheduled as pelvic, but ended up being internal again, mainly because I didn't have a full enough bladder and it was easier going for a pee and letting them do that, than trying to fill it up in time and going back for it to perhaps still not be clear enough (it can show up womb lining irregularities like fibroids, cysts on ovaries, or obvious signs of severe endometriosis, etc)

Some do a HyCoSy instead of HSG - I think the HyCoSy uses an ultrasound scan instead of an xray?

After so long of TTC/NTNP, and considering your age, they may just be sparing you unnecessary procedures etc by referring you straight onto the IVF waiting list. Generally speaking, I don't think there's any of the tests (that I've had) that would not use IVF as a solution. The only difference may be issues with your womb lining (checked again prior to IVF beginning) or things like Natural Killer Cells, which aren't routinely checked anyway, from what I understand.

If you can't bear the 2year wait (I'm not sure I could) is self funding an option? If you self funded, would your PCT still NHS fund any rounds they generally offer, when you got to the top of the list? (Some won't do IVF if you'd already had IVF elsewhere)

Best of luck with it though - feel free to stick around

Legacy wrote: »

Hi ladies, well I've de-lurked (gosh, that sounds so seedy!) to give Primmer my absolute best of luck.

I'm in a similar position - our test day is Thursday 27th.

Good luck!

mess0804 wrote: »

I got a letter from the GP that the specialist refered me to Chlamydia and Rubeola tests. Is this the normal ?

AFAIK the tests are normal. I've had both. I can't help you with London waiting lists though. Good luck

I don't get to try Clomid either, because of my tubes, but originally they told me if it didn't work then it would be IVF as a next step.

hawk30

Mess, how long it takes depends on what area you are in and the diagnosis you have. Whether or not you get clomid or not will depend on your consultant - mine refused to prescribe it because I had no problems with ovulation but I have heard that some consultants will prescribe it regardless.

If you are diagnosed with unexplained infertility, the NHS won't offer IVF treatment until you have been trying for at least 3 years (if you get pg in that time but miscarry the clock restarts). If, however, you have a issue that is likely to prevent pg (e.g. Blocked tubes or OH has little or no sperm) they will put you on the list straightaway, assuming you meet the PCT's IVF conditions. I started IVF treatment within 2 months of being referred, so there was no real waiting list in my area.

You PCT should have published its guidelines for fertility treatment, so have a look on their website. It's a bit of a postcode lottery as different PCTs impose different conditions (e.g. age, weight, etc) so it's a good idea to check.

HTH

bigzippy

chickpea wrote: »

Is it just me or is everyone pg just now (with the obvious exceptions of (most of) us!)

Certainly starting to feel like it.:o Another close friend told me last night, with great trepidation, that she's pregnant with an unplanned baby. ...Her 6th.:shocked: She found out the day I was talking to her about our IVF options, and has been worried about telling me since.:undecided I guess it's almost easier that I don't have to feel happy for her, because she's not quite happy for her (yet)...:o



I saw my GP last week and talked to him about the IVF stuff and that we didn't want to be waiting around for NHS funded IVF if they wouldn't offer us the choice of the kind of treatments we were happy with. He understood and told me to ask his PA to see if she could find out, for us. I spoke to her this week and found out a little more for us. She spoke to the Assisted Conception Unit, to the main guy's secretary, it seems, and she was concerned that we hadn't had the options spelled out for us by our FS and said that it was entirely possible to be referred to them before I'd lost the remainder of the weight to "discuss our options" So I've asked my FS's secretary to ask my FS to refer me for that, and hopefully we'll get some answers sooner than April/May. I'm also hoping that once we're on their radar it will be a quicker process once I've actually lost the weight, as they still can't commence any treatment until I've lost the rest.

And a little bit of observation of the pg ladies in ASDA yesterday offered proof, if proof were needed, that there's more to fertility than a healthy BMI and lifestyle.

Meow - ignore me, I'm just jealous!

During the conversation with my GP's PA (who is also a Nurse Practitioner at the surgery) though, she was shocked that I couldn't have the treatment yet (as was GP) and asked about what I needed to be etc, and then said it's "scandalous" because they meet loads of mothers to be with BMIs of 50+ who've managed to conceive naturally etc... I was just like "Don't get me started!! :mad:". Incidentally, she is also pregnant, and I would put a wager on her BMI being higher than mine, too :whistle:


Enjoy your holiday Chickpea

When are you testing Primmer? How you feeling?

How you doing Juju? ETO?

Primmer

Hi BZ - I am ok thanks another 7 days until testing - time is going slowly. Been getting some pains in my tummy and feeling tired but am taking pessaries twice a day which are hormones so they give you pregnancy symptoms which is unkind. Doing my cd every night whe. I come home from work and that is really helping.

jujugaboo

I'm good BZ thanks, just waiting for 12 week scan on Wednesday, so nervous that there will be no heartbeat or something wrong. I suppose most people feel like this but after 5 years it all seems unreal.

Looking forward to hearing some positive news on here soon. x

lisawood78

Hi ladies.
How are we all getting on?
My hubby is away doing his hobby all weekend (he works away all week also) so i'm home alone all weekend as well as all week.
Feeling pretty crap if i'm honest. Very down, feeling useless and hopeless. Can't see the point in trying again if i'm honest, wasted 11 years of my life ttc and feel my life has been on hold a lot, haven't done a load of stuff I wanted to do due to treatment, waiting for treatment or recovering from it, oh and saving for it also! I have 6 pregnant ladies in my friend circle, latest a couple of days ago and I reckon a good friend is about to announce thatt she is pregnant also (just a feeling)

Haven't cried really since our last BFN, I think thats part of it, numbness kicked in but its really hitting home now, the fact that AF is overdue by a couple of days isn't helping my mood either.
Sorry ladies x

EverTheOptimist

bigzippy wrote: »

How you doing Juju? ETO?

I'm ok thanks BZ, slowly sending myself bonkers. Good news that your appt may be brought forward. Good luck with the continued weight loss.

Primmer - hope you have stuff to distract you.

Lisa - sorry you are feeling so down. Sending you hugs. :grouphug: